Did you know that fake poop is good for your hair?
Yeah, its called sham poo.
A guy’s Mom comes to visit him at his job at the aquarium where she finds him feeding a baby dolphin. She says look at you, you were smart. You could have had a real job, really done some good for the world. Her son snapped back,...
Hey, my job serves a youthful porpoise!
So, I’ve been hearing people talk about probiotics and how good they are for you. I don’t buy into it.
I guess you could say that I’m anti-biotic.
What do you call a British guy when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
PunGent
Tried posting in Dad jokes sub and I guess it was the wrong place for a triple pun.
If someone says Tequila is good for you
Take it with a pinch of salt
You know what would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine?
Yo, homie. You know of any good computer programs for typing up documents?
If you‘re a tester for vacuum cleaners and the vacuum sucks. Is a good or a bad vacuum?
I got a good one for you guys
After playing our set at the local block party, a group of kids walked up to the stage and the leader laughed, "You rock pretty good for a buncha ole geezers, but why the heck did you name your band, 'Bald Patch'!?" I shrugged and said...
"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."
A condom manufacturer kept getting criticized because its new gimmicks never did anything for women. So they did what any good company would do and went to the most knowledgeable frog in the world for advice. You know what the frog said?
What do you call a person who codes for living and also good at playing games?
Here's a good joke for all you mind readers out there
You know I heard cleaning mirrors is very good for you...
It's quite self-reflective
It's a grandpa joke but whatever. 'Kids, when you're my age, you'll really want to wear diapers again for 2 good reasons'
'What are the reasons?'
'#1, and #2'
'Oh grandpa...'
'You don't understand. #2 was a solid one'
'Stoooop'
'And you should already understand #1, it runs in your genes'
Is butter good for you?
Well, you are certainly butter off without it
Son eat the vegetables,they're good for you
But dad,they taste just like regular people.
What kind of food is good for you feet?
[Request] I need every skeleton/bone related pun you can think of for an upcoming D&D session...I want to really get under my players skin and give them a good ribbing!
Last night I was finishing up pressure washing my driveway and one neighbor dad drove by and said “lookin’ good, great practice for when you do mine this weekend”, and then turned to his wife in the passenger seat laughing hysterically as she looked at him with a blank stare.
Do you know what duct tape is good for?
Fixing quacks in your ducks.
Need help with a good pun using cats, coffee or mugs, and saying thank you for joining us as!
Wedding party favors are cat mugs
Why is honey good for you?
It's full of Bee vitamins.
You know what mirrors are good for?
Are dates good for you?
My husband and I were sitting on the couch last night as I was looking up recipes for homemade energy bars, one recipe called for dried dates to add sweetness. My husband asked me
"Are dates good for you?"
to which I replied
"Well I think they definitely help to strengthen a relationship, so yes"
I got the glare of amused disapproval.
You know what St. Paddy's Day is good for?
Buying some new "Paddy-O" furniture. I'll show myself out.
"You're a good for nothing deadbeet!"
Got me good—What do you call the guy who got away with counterfeiting coins for over a decade?
What do you call a man when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play.
I've got a good one for you guys if I do say so myself
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