If you have the soldiers named Salt and Pepper in your squad then consider yourself lucky.

They're seasoned veterans

πŸ‘︎ 278
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyMcFry89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
It must be my lucky day! I found a plant that says it supports learning about a son of Norseman Erik the Red!

Yep. I found a for-Leif clover!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't help it, I like Google's "I'm feeling lucky" button

It's basically love at first site.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrethedev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
You're lucky that he didn't name them Devon and Devoff!
πŸ‘︎ 325
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BitchyOlive
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I got banned from /r/DadJokes for submitting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

πŸ‘︎ 684
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
If Hermes was the messenger god, the he sure was lucky not to have met the god of pain and old age...

Arthrites.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elliptical_orbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was super lucky to get an advent calendar this year...

because you know their days are numbered.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/es_mo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together. Man I sure am lucky !

I mean, first I win the lottery and now this

πŸ‘︎ 174
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
At what point did the tomato realize he was about to get lucky?

When the garlic started taking off her cloves.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rayzon1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone who lives in Oregon must be really lucky.

Everything there is Organic.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stoicbrown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night, my girlfriend told me I'm very attractive and she's a lucky lady.

I told her if I'm attractive then she's a moLUCKular lady.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker0812
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: You’re so lucky, you can sleep whenever you want!

Daughter: I kid, you not

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saf_sy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The casino was giving a lucky winner a Toyota.

It's a Corolla of the dice.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/13toycar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I know a fireman with twin boys. The first one out was very lucky because his name is β€œJose.”

His brother, β€œHose B,” not so much.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.

I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I felt a little sad for my lucky sock when I looked down and saw another rip, this one baring my entire ankle.

I sniffled. My sock was on it's last leg.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nightreach1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Hes so fukang lucky
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diamondsttv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My son threw a soda at my head today: So I told him I’m lucky it was a soft drink!
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Atmouspheric
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
WoW , that bee must be lucky
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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People who work in gas stations are lucky...

They've got a fuelfilling job!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a-boring-username
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm lucky to have survived Mustard gas and pepper spay when I was in the Army.

I guess you could say that I'm a seasoned vet...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
It's lucky to be me

I bought 20 bees at the pet store but they put an extra one in the bag... They said keep it, it's a freebie

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Nacho lucky day
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinfastjohny
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Hes lucky she didn't drop DEADweights
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saintnickfun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I finished off a box of Cheerios at breakfast, a box of Lucky Charms at lunch, and a box of Captain Crunch at dinner.

I’m a real cereal killer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gecko_echo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I was telling my buddy how my wife is driving me to drink. He said to me, β€œConsider yourself lucky.”

β€œMine makes me walk.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Lucky for us, we don’t have to worry about anti-vaxxers brainwashing their children.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMiniDuck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
A gift AND a pun? Boy am I lucky
πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KiltedCobra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2015
🚨︎ report
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.

They are looking for a cereal killer.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
In old days it was considered very lucky to have a hen lay her eggs near the inside of the entrance of your house

As soon as a person walks in and sees this, they would know to expect good luck and fortune from the owner of the house and the whole family, but only if all of the chicks hatch and are all healthy. Every time you left a house, it was considered good luck to look at the hen, and wish it well to have all of its chicks born happy, healthy, and for the hen to live a long life. This is why they call it an egg-sit!!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonmeservy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Some guy just tried to sell me a lucky pillow case.

What a sham!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBooks72
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I thank my lucky stars that astrology isn't real.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
🚨︎ report
What's Tchaikovsky's lucky number?
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2017
🚨︎ report
What's another name for a lucky rabbit's foot?

A good hare cut.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xamaryllix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do you suppose the lucky rabbits foot is legendary?

That's where they find them.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bardner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a heroin habit and call my lucky syringe "The Lord's Name"...

I take it in vein.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HONKDADDY
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Today at the Dairy I was standing at the cow barn and a woman turned to me and asked, "Do they milk the male cows too." I answered, "only if they are lucky"
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CthulhuBread
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Octopuns #89 - Lucky octopuns.blogspot.com.au/…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gelakinetic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2012
🚨︎ report
She's SO lucky to have me!

Wife: Do you want me to make you a naan chicken flatbread for lunch? Me: Well if it's not chicken then what is it?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freq1c
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2015
🚨︎ report

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