He had the morel high ground.
It was your classic case of Squid Pro Quo.
I'm kind of partial to 7
They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment
I'm a frostitute
The odds were not in my favor
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
He’ll come around, eventually.
Pros: Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady
Cons: Al Capone, Frank Abagnale, Ted Bundy
Squid pro quo
You could say I'm a pro-grammer.
I'm.
It's pointless.
He does it to this day and laughs every time, my sister and mother have chosen to start ignoring that type of behavior which makes it funnier to me
You know what they say... history favors the mold.
I told him, "That's a little course"
Brochure
I O U
Bob:..."Yes, they're in favor of it, 14 to 3..."
Pro-teen
A1C por favor
Opposed?
The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, but you're a rope. I can't serve you, and I'm not even sure how I could. Please leave."
A short time later, the rope comes back into the bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender, a bit annoyed at the situation, says, "Look, I told you I can't serve you. Just go away."
A few hours later, the rope comes back in again.
The bartender is getting mad now. "Look, I told you twice that I can't serve alcohol to a rope! Now get out and STAY OUT!"
Dejectedly, the rope leaves the bar and sits at the curb until a gentleman passes by. Suddenly, the piece of rope has an idea.
"Excuse me", says the rope, "but could you do me a favor?"
"Um... me?" says the puzzled gentleman. "Uh... I guess so..."
"Great! I just need you to tie a big ol' knot right in my middle."
"Well," says the gentleman. "I just so happens I was a former Eagle Scout. Here you go," and ties a perfect knot in the rope. "Will that be all?"
The rope pauses for a second and says, "Actually, could you pull apart my ends and unravel them for a bit?"
The gentleman obliges and goes on his merry way. The piece of rope, satisfied at its new appearance, heads back into the bar.
Furious, the bartender shouts, "HEY! Aren't you that same piece of rope I kicked out three times already?!?"
"No, I'm a frayed knot."
...he still can't say "please", though, which I think is "poor for four".
Edit: "Por favor" is Spanish for please. :)
I was watching Michael Collins, a movie about the Irish war of independence, when my dad walked into the room.
"Oh Michael Collins is on, when did it start?" He asked
"Around 1916" I responded
He groaned and then walked out of the room. After many years I have finally gotten him back. This is a pretty big moment for me guys.
She wanted my help because she "...needs air in my tires and I suck." I told her that was her problem, that she should probably blow air into her tires instead!! No reaction from her...
You need protein to be in shape
So, you have a terminal condition?
In class today, my professor asked for someone to "flip off the lights" so we could start the movies. I was on the other side of the room from the light-switch but I did what I could...
I flashed a particular hand gesture toward the lights.
Just to take the edge off
It’s a naan issue.
Before they'd tell me their secret recipes, I had to sign a Naan-Disclosure Agreement
I guess it's just her way to curry favor.
A man decides to see if he can teach his horse to read. He starts with fiction and finds that the horse actually enjoys it. He then works his way through non-fiction, suspense and fantasy, all with favorable results. However, when he tries philosophy the horse rears and kicks and destroys the stable, proving once and for all...
Never put Descartes before the horse.
A por favor
One of the classic Abbott and Costello routines, where Bud Abbott takes advantage of a common math mistake that we all make to fleece his pal, Lou Costello, out of all of his money. The skit ends with a simple ‘read my mind’ routine that takes Lou’s last remaining bill. This routine was done many times, both in the movies and their radio show.
Bud Abbott: Do me a favor, loan me $50.
Lou Costello: Bud, I can’t. I can’t loan you $50.
Bud Abbott: Oh, yes, ya can.
Lou Costello: No, I can’t. All I got is $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, give me the $40 and you’ll owe me 10
Lou Costello: Ok, I’ll owe you 10.
Bud Abbott: That’s right.
Lou Costello: How come I owe you 10?
Bud Abbott: How much did I ask for?
Lou Costello: 50
Bud Abbott: How much did you give me?
Lou Costello: 40.
Bud Abbott: So you owe me $10.
Lou Costello: That’s right. [Pause] But you owe me 40.
Bud Abbott: Don’t change the subject.
Lou Costello: I’m not changing the subject; you’re trying to change my finances. Come on, Abbott give me my $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, there’s your $40, now give me the 10 you owe me.
Lou Costello: I’m paying you on account.
Bud Abbott: On account?
Lou Costello: On account I don’t know how I owe it to ya.
Bud Abbott: That’s the way you feel about it, that’s the last time I ask you for a loan of $50.
Lou Costello: But how can I loan ya $50, now. All I got is 30.
Bud Abbott: Well, give me the 30 and you’ll owe me 20.
Lou Costello: Ok. This is getting worse all the time. (Look at audience) First I owe him 10, now I owe him 20.
Bud Abbott: Well, why do you run yourself into debt?
Lou Costello: I’m not running in, you’re pushing me!1
Bud Abbott: I can’t help it if you can’t handle your finances. I do all right with my money.
Lou Costello: And you do all right with my money too.
Bud Abbott: Now I asked you for a loan of $50. You gave me 30, so you owe me 20. 20 and 30 is 50.
Lou Costello: No. No. No. 25 and 25 is 50.
Bud Abbott: All right, here’s your $30, now give me the 20 you owe me. Fine guy, won’t loan a pal $50.
"Breathe you idiot!"
The odds were not in my favor
That's Por favor
