So encouraging
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︎ Oct 01 2020
Someone left a sign encouraging cleanliness in my workplace tearoom. It just said "THINK!"
I thought this was so great that I made matching labels for the Tapth and the Thoap.
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︎ Jan 19 2021
What did the encouraging girl spirit say to the other ambitious girl spirit?
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︎ Oct 18 2020
My career counsellor keeps encouraging me to drop out.
Thanks to her, Iβm graduating from Sky diving school.
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︎ Oct 16 2020
My dad, encouraging me after my water polo match defeat, "Son you are one in a million."
The other six are the Zeroes.
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︎ Apr 03 2018
My dad's encouraging words for my first day back to school
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︎ Aug 29 2013
Butt encouragement puns!
Hey guys! I need combinations of words for ass and words that mean something in the realm of βmaking someone happyβ
Context: a friend of mine and I send each other selfies on the toilet and sheβs having a shitty day (hah) so I bent over the toilet and stuck my ass in the air and took a picture like my ass was taking a selfie and now I need something punny yet encouraging to say
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︎ Sep 17 2020
This Sacramento comedy show is basically a pun-themed rap battle
A few years ago, we started a show that I quite frankly never thought would work.
Nearly four years later, including two sold out appearances at San Francisco Sketchfest and a local TV featurette, our show "Capitol PUNishment" is now streaming on Twitch Friday night at 8:30pm PST.
I hope it's ok to post this in here. If not, feel free to remove with no hard feelings. Just encouraging pun lovers to check out what is best described as "a fast-paced, in-the-moment spectacle that combines everything you love about gameshows, rap-battles, and "dad" jokes, into a unique and hilarious competitive format."
Our channel is twitch.tv/capitolpuns
Here's a little video to help paint the picture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2RE9PgmfXo
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︎ Apr 15 2020
How do you encourage a ghost?
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Tweety words of encouragement
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︎ Dec 09 2020
(with thanks for encouragement from u/sherbert_suspicious): I built a little model sports car car for my snail, and called it an S-car for Snail.
Every where he drove it, people shouted "Look at that S-Car go!"
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︎ Sep 08 2020
I finally got the Covid vaccine yesterday and as I was driving I noticed my vision was blurry. I called the vaccination center and asked if I should go to the doctor or hospital. They said no.
But they encouraged me to immediately return to the vaccination center to pick up my glasses.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Encourage Mint.
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︎ Oct 21 2019
I planted some encourage mint today
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︎ Jun 26 2019
My friend, who happens to be a female sheep, made a clone of herself and had sex with her clone. My entire friend group was totally disgusted, but I encouraged it, and said...
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︎ Jan 08 2020
Here's Your Daily Dose Of Encourage Mint!
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︎ Mar 19 2018
I went to see a physiotherapist recently for a spinal injury.
He was so encouraging, he assured me that he has my back.
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︎ Jan 11 2021
I was once encouraged by someone who stole my alcohol.
They really lifted my spirits.
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︎ Sep 30 2019
I always encourage everyone I know to wear two different deodorants, one under each armpit.
But thatβs just my two scents.
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︎ Apr 19 2019
My ice machine was really cool, so I decided to encourage it... I said, "good job ice machine, you're crushing it."
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︎ Feb 23 2019
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︎ Oct 19 2019
Just happened. My kids are running around blowing a party noise marker. My wife's sister says " it sounds like an elephant in there"
I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."
My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.
EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)
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︎ Jan 29 2020
I tried to encourage my friend to make more money...
But I guess he didnβt get my incentives.
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︎ Mar 25 2019
How do you encourage a robot lumberjack?
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︎ Feb 20 2018
I try to encourage my wife to come up with her own mom jokes. So when she asked me to make one up regarding wood, I got a little upset.
"Cedar, that's what I'm talking about. Its not oak-ee doke to take credit for what wood be my joke. Every bodhi has to create their own." I told her. Didn't mean to chop her down like that in hindsight. I hope she still pines after me.
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︎ Mar 01 2018
My wife encourages me to have a lot of hammers...
We're in a poly-hammerous relationship
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︎ Nov 06 2018
What do you call it when your friends encourage you to eat more fruit?
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︎ Aug 07 2016
Looks like October is...
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︎ Nov 01 2017
I live in a remote town. We're building a train station to encourage travel to nearby places.
All thanks to a strong local motive.
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︎ May 02 2018
My daughter called me in a panic and asked, "Dad! My car just broke down! What should I do!?" I replied calmly...
"Whisper it some words of encouragement!"
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︎ Aug 08 2020
My parents really encouraged me to go to college to get a degree after high school even thought I told them I already had 98.6 of them.
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︎ Jan 17 2017
Minty
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︎ Nov 21 2019
Why did the whisky divorce the glass?
Their marriage was on the rocks!
(Thank you u/VadJag for encouraging me to post this again!)
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︎ Mar 09 2020
I'm a newlywed and I think my wife's trying to encourage me to be a dad.
Me, trailing from a conversion in progress: "... Sounds like the holocaust"(Said Hole-ih-cost in my accent)
Her: "Holy-caust?"
Me: "Holy-cost. How much does being holy cost?"
Her: "Six million Jews."
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︎ Mar 12 2014
Whenever my dad encourages me to take risks and try something, he says "Seize the carp!"
My mother freaks out whenever she hears him say that because she hates it and she's sick of it. I think it's hilarious.
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︎ Jan 17 2015
Si seΓ±or yo soy yo rancho ahhhhhhh
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︎ Mar 12 2019
What's the Difference between Driving and Baseball?
In Baseball, hit and runs are encouraged!
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︎ Jul 21 2020
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︎ Nov 12 2013
Words of encouragement from dad
Dad(singing):
You can do it
You can do it
You can pick your nose and chew it
(repeat for effect)
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︎ Nov 04 2013
I'm going to name my son Violence.
If he's smart, I can tell my friends that Violence solves problems.
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︎ Sep 22 2016
What do you get if you give a boat drugs?
A speedboat
[Disclaimer]: I donβt encourage the use of drugs
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︎ Feb 20 2020
I am really grateful to my math teacher in elementary school who taught us how to subtract numbers.
She really encouraged us to make a difference.
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︎ Dec 02 2019
Child's dad joke
I've kind of been encouraging it, but tonight my 18 month old did it all by herself.
Getting her ready for dinner, I pull the highchair up to the table.
Daughter: Highchair! Highchair!
Me: It is
Daughter: waves Hi, chair!
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︎ Aug 06 2015
Someone left a sign encouraging cleanliness in my workplace tearoom. It just said "THINK!"
I thought this was so great that I made matching labels for the Tapth and the Thoap.
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︎ Jan 19 2021
My academic advisor keeps encouraging me to drop out.
Thanks to him, Iβm soon graduating from the Sky Diving school.
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︎ Dec 06 2019
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