You're lucky that he didn't name them Devon and Devoff!
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︎ Sep 19 2020
I was super lucky to get an advent calendar this year...
because you know their days are numbered.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 02 2020
I got banned from /r/DadJokes for submitting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"
Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...
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︎ Aug 17 2020
At what point did the tomato realize he was about to get lucky?
When the garlic started taking off her cloves.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 02 2020
Everyone who lives in Oregon must be really lucky.
Everything there is Organic.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 03 2020
My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together. Man I sure am lucky !
I mean, first I win the lottery and now this
π︎ 180
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︎ Mar 23 2020
Last night, my girlfriend told me I'm very attractive and she's a lucky lady.
I told her if I'm attractive then she's a moLUCKular lady.
π︎ 12
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︎ Apr 23 2020
The casino was giving a lucky winner a Toyota.
It's a Corolla of the dice.
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 19 2020
I felt a little sad for my lucky sock when I looked down and saw another rip, this one baring my entire ankle.
I sniffled. My sock was on it's last leg.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 02 2020
I know a fireman with twin boys. The first one out was very lucky because his name is βJose.β
His brother, βHose B,β not so much.
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 26 2020
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.
I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 16 2019
Hes so fukang lucky
π︎ 24
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︎ Aug 04 2019
People who work in gas stations are lucky...
They've got a fuelfilling job!
π︎ 23
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︎ Aug 29 2019
It's lucky to be me
I bought 20 bees at the pet store but they put an extra one in the bag... They said keep it, it's a freebie
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 02 2019
My son threw a soda at my head today: So I told him Iβm lucky it was a soft drink!
π︎ 10
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︎ May 17 2019
WoW , that bee must be lucky
π︎ 34
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︎ Mar 17 2019
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink
π︎ 6
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︎ May 23 2019
I'm lucky to have survived Mustard gas and pepper spay when I was in the Army.
I guess you could say that I'm a seasoned vet...
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 24 2018
Nacho lucky day
π︎ 13
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︎ Mar 29 2019
Hes lucky she didn't drop DEADweights
π︎ 17
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︎ Mar 07 2019
Today I finished off a box of Cheerios at breakfast, a box of Lucky Charms at lunch, and a box of Captain Crunch at dinner.
Iβm a real cereal killer.
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 02 2019
I was telling my buddy how my wife is driving me to drink. He said to me, βConsider yourself lucky.β
βMine makes me walk.β
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 13 2019
Lucky for us, we donβt have to worry about anti-vaxxers brainwashing their children.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 05 2018
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 12 2019
A gift AND a pun? Boy am I lucky
π︎ 79
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︎ Nov 10 2015
In old days it was considered very lucky to have a hen lay her eggs near the inside of the entrance of your house
As soon as a person walks in and sees this, they would know to expect good luck and fortune from the owner of the house and the whole family, but only if all of the chicks hatch and are all healthy. Every time you left a house, it was considered good luck to look at the hen, and wish it well to have all of its chicks born happy, healthy, and for the hen to live a long life.
This is why they call it an egg-sit!!!
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 09 2018
Some guy just tried to sell me a lucky pillow case.
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 02 2018
I thank my lucky stars that astrology isn't real.
π︎ 7
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︎ May 11 2017
What's Tchaikovsky's lucky number?
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 06 2017
What's another name for a lucky rabbit's foot?
π︎ 13
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︎ Apr 05 2017
Why do you suppose the lucky rabbits foot is legendary?
That's where they find them.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 26 2018
Today at the Dairy I was standing at the cow barn and a woman turned to me and asked, "Do they milk the male cows too." I answered, "only if they are lucky"
π︎ 15
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︎ Aug 18 2014
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 27 2012
She's SO lucky to have me!
Wife: Do you want me to make you a naan chicken flatbread for lunch?
Me: Well if it's not chicken then what is it?
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 17 2015
This is our lucky day!
Today my dad and I went to a tech store, where we bought a TV. The checkout assistant gave us a receipt we had to deliver to the tech store's warehouse on the other side of the road. My dad and I walked into the warehouse and went to stand in the line. A couple of minutes later, it was our turn to get service. We gave them the receipt, and then they came out with the TV. My dad then started saying: "This is our lucky day. I can't believe how clumsy people can be. Dropping a receipt to such an expensive TV to the floor." The people in the queue gave us some weird looks. When we came out of the store my dad started laughing. I got to admit, though. I thought it was pretty funny as well.
Some times dadjokes can be funny...
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 26 2013
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