Fortunate Puns

Well, urine luck.

Medium

Apparently, there’s a small medium at-large.

A hammer.

Turns out he was in cider trading

To sum it up, there’s a small medium at large.

Roma therapy.

He had the Bespin.

My own fault though, I kept her out too long.

The police ended up charging him with attempted mattress-cide.

a small medium at large.

I walked in and stole some guy's Rolex.

Plane ones.

The call went out that a small medium was at large

She says she either feels very manic, or quite depressed - never a happy medium.

Because she'll grow to be MissFortune.

“Hey, there’s no fortune in here” Me: “that’s unfortunate”

My fortune cookie: “your sense of humor will get you through difficult times”.

A happy medium

A not-for-prophet

After the repair man fixed it, I realized I was $5 short. Fortunately he didn’t sweat me over it, what a cool dude.

It was unfortunate.

Mediums

But that’s just projected figures.

He trips on every metaphor he stumbles across

Police are saying there is a small medium at large

An old friend of mine decided one day that he would have a go a keeping chickens. So he bought a hen house and his first chicken along with very handsome Cockerell Three weeks later his chicken had laid a clutch of eggs and the old hatched out successfully but one little chick just kept growing and growing. He took it to the vet who assured him that although rare for that particular breed there was nothing to worry about After two years this chicken was five foot nine and weighed in at ten stone three pounds. So my mate had what he thought was a brilliant idea. He hitched the chicken to the front of his car and decided he would train the chicken to pull him in the car. This went on for about a month and my mate had saved a fortune in petrol costs. Then one day as he was travelling to work the hitching rope snapped and the chicken was away up the motorway never to be seen again. My mate was distraught and stuck in the middle lane. The police eventually came out and said "What's the problem Sir?". My mate, by now in floods of tears because of his loss said "My big hens gone!"

I said, “Awesome. What type is it?”

He said, “ Two thirty.”

They were all mediums.

But it turned out not all of them were mediums

One says to the other, “You’re fine, how am I?”

She just shook her head and said "This is a non-prophet organization."

L’ouija board.

...selling fridges?

is technically a small medium at large.

My own fault though, I kept her out too long.

She says she either feels very manic, or quite depressed - never a happy medium.

(According to my facebook memories, I made this one up 7 years ago!)

A small medium at large!