"Stop eating caterpillars!"
I told them, "You guys should take turns".
A spare I guess
Jk rolling
I had to read him the rye-ot act
Cause you don't mess with Texas
They make us all watch
It's my thirty-second birthday.
When I was a kid, any time my dad saw me picking my nose, he would say:
"Hey, is that a diamond in your nose?"
Me: "What? No."
Him: "Oh IT'SNOT?? ***IT'S SNOT???***"
After the first couple times, I stopped responding. The worst part is that he eventually stopped caring whether I humored him or not and would just jump right into the punchline.
"Is that a diamond in your nose? OH, IT'S SNOT??" And then he would just laugh hysterically, and say it again while he was recovering from his laughing fit. "IT'S SNOT?!?!?" He'd probably say it 5 or 6 times while increasingly losing his shit each time until his words were just incoherent. I used to think he was laughing at the joke itself, but now I'm pretty sure that the more straight/annoyed my face was, the funnier the whole bit was for him, which explains why he would laugh harder and harder as he went on with it. Then he'd finish with one of those high pitched 'laugh-ending' sighs and wipe his eyes. God it was obnoxious.
I can't wait until I'm a dad and I get to use it.
He walked away and then came back and handed me this.
When the game was ready, I said "Alright guys, let's get the ball rolling", and they all groaned in disgust.
I'm not a dad yet, but I'm hoping to get some practice in for if I ever become one.
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
