Fire Pit Puns

Some might say I enjoy smoking quack.

But she slowly started warming up to it.

She was cold about it at first , but she’s warming up to it.

Sitting around a fire pit at a cabin we were staying at last weekend with my wife and some other family.

My wife leans over and wipes a piece of ash off of my jacket, to which I reply:

"You love to tap that ash, don't you?"

Everyone groaned.

Myself: Watch out, you're playing with fire. Uncle: Oh I know, I feel the heat.

Their method for hunting polar bears was the most interesting. They would start a fire out on a deep snow bank, and essentially melt a hole in the snow. Once the hole was big enough they would stop feeding it firewood and let it burnout on its own. Once the fire had gone down and was nothing more than smoldering ashes with a little bit of smoke, they would line the edge of the fire pit with snow peas.

All they had to do from there is hide and wait. Once a bear caught scent of the smoke and starts to investigate, the bear would eventually start eating some of the peas. Then they sneak up behind it and kick it in the ash-hole.

• It's too deep
• It's the pits
• The places made me go "What the Hell"
• It took an eternity for anything to happen
• I didn't get a lot of it , because the devil was in the details
• The so-called "smart" people in Hell use too much circular reasoning
• The main character is too down-to-earth
• Lucifer is unlikable, even though he is a central character
• It uses too much inflammatory language
• A lot of the action is too sin-tilating for me

Ok, that last one was pretty bad. I should be punished. I'll go die in a fire now.

My wife and I were visiting family last week, and with my wife's older sister and 7-year-younger brother, he was asking us about forest fires. Discussing having a fire pit in your backyard during a fire ban:

younger brother: What's the penalty for starting a forest fire, like, if there's a ban?

wife: firing squad

me: =D

everyone else: ಠ_ಠ

We just got a new propane powered fire pit for our back yard and we are switching propane tanks around to make it work. My mom asked: "so does the fire pit have gas?" My dad responded without skipping a beat: "Why? Did you give it beans?"

Some might say I enjoy smoking quack