my legs were thrown into jail today
I heard they committed a felo-knee
What's the difference between a rock thrown at you and a crazy girlfriend?
It doesn't hurt when the rock misses you.
I got thrown out of the Facebook puns group for a post about ice cream.
They just said "How dairy!"
My legs were just thrown in jail today...
I might’ve heard this wrong, but I think they committed feloknees?
I just got thrown out of my local park for arranging the squirrels by height.
They didn’t like my critter sizing.
What sound did the piano make when it was thrown off the barracks roof?
I was thrown on a pile of clocks
Still scratching my head in confusion, trying to understand why was I thrown out of the interview room???
My answer was spot on, upon being asked to give an example on a "Business being completely ruined due to carelessness"
All I said was... "A Pregnant Prostitute"
I was thrown through a window today.
Why was was the unrepentant Roman who consumed his wife neither surprised nor scared when he was thrown into the Colosseum?
He was gladiator already.
I was arrested after dodging some pushpins that were thrown at me.
I committed tacks evasion.
I remember having rocks thrown at me because I was a nerd in high school.
As they hit me, I thought, “that’s not gneiss.”
A friend of mine brought a hen to a kegger but was thrown out
Turns out he committed party fowl
Certain Olympic events should be thrown out
What do you call hashbrowns that get thrown in the garbage?
Someone has just thrown a lump of cheese at me.
I thought to myself, that's not very mature.
I was thrown out of the local park for arranging the squirrels by height...
Apparently they just can’t take a little critter-sizing!
A radioactive leak in China has thrown the country's widlife into chaos
Apparently it's absolute panda-monium
The audiologist had his malpractice case thrown out.
The judge ruled the evidence was all ear-relevant.
Did you hear about the computer that was thrown into the sea?
Now that's a DELL ROLLING in the deep
A stone thrown into a pond in 1990 has been wet for around 30 years.
I was thrown out of music school for plagiarism.
They thought I was stealing songs, but I was just taking notes.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France.
Would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
I was thrown in jail for not having twine!
Wife: You got thrown out of hobby lobby for sticking your testicles in the glitter?
Yeah, I know. Pretty nuts?
Me: i am affraid of randomly thrown alphabets
Therapist: are you?
Me : screams
Therapist : oh i see
Me:screaming intensifies
Why did the lawyer get thrown out of court?
He showed up wearing only a lawsuit.
Last October, I was walking through the cemetery and I came across a trash can where someone had thrown out their Kraft halloween monster themed mac and cheese...
It was the mac.
It was the monster mac.
the monster mac
was in the graveyard trash.
Why did the turkey get thrown out of the stadium?
If I was cut in half and thrown out of a plane, You could say...
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
TIL about Arda Djoques, a homeless woman in Baltimore who wandered into a school and pretended to be a substitute teacher for two weeks. Despite great reviews from her peers, when the school found out, she was forcefully thrown to the street.
I saw a nun get thrown from a balcony.
I heard the culprit was another nun.
It must have been a nunja practicing with nun-chucks.
Did you hear abou the guy thrown in prison for refusing to take a nap?
I received a threat that I would be thrown from a cliff
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return when thrown?
A 900-pound dog once tried to retrieve a ball thrown over 200 miles.
But it was too far fetched.
Got thrown out of a Parisian restaurant called 'La Guerre' because they didn't believe I could speak French. This means war, I said.
Iron man refuses to attend any party thrown by Aquaman.
What happened if someone got a soda thrown at their head?
They lived. Luckily it was a soft drink.
Why was the vending machine thrown out of the courtroom?
I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height.....
They didn’t like me critter sizing.
I got thrown out of the park for measuring the squirrels
I guess they didn't want me critter sizing.
I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height.
They didn't like me critter sizing.
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