Real story: I was talking to the Waitress at a breakfast restaurant where a Jeep wheel had just blown out the front window.
I told her she looked exhausted. When you start your day like that you’re tired all day.
A fish steps outside her house and get hers fins and gills blown out of order by the weather, so she goes back in for a jacket. Her husband asks, “What’s it like Outside Right Now?” She replies,
“Currently”
I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer
Thankfully it’s just semicolon cancer
Portland police are claiming protesters have blown up the courthouse toilets...
Apparently... They have nothing to go on at this time
My neighbor kept running across my lawn and then pretends to get blown up by explosives.
I’m tired of his mine games.
When the weatherman said there was a tornado in the area I was blown away.
The Lone Ranger woke to see that his tent had blown away by a tornado...
He decided,"Tonto,we're not in canvas anymore!"
What did the President say when his prepared remarks got blown away by the wind?
Nothing, he was speechless.
Bruh, now i know why none of my posts have blown up, it's coz i asked to have them all in one piece yesterday.
When the suicide bomber discovered that he can detonate bombs with his phone, his mind was blown...
My new fan purchase has truly blown me away
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances
They said it smells like Foul Play
A terrorist walks into a bar and says I'm so excited to show everyone this cool bomb they're gonna be blown away!!
I was watching a war movie today and a guy's leg got blown off...
I couldn't tell whether it was CGI or a stump double
I was driving and saw a Schmitt bread truck with a blown tire on the side of the road.
I was alone in the car, but still said "I bet he's having a schmitty day" and giggled like a dumbass all the way home
My wife is totally blown away by all the cute cat pictures on Reddit.
She's in aww.
