Thought my dryer was shrinking my clothes...

Turns out it was my refrigerator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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Every year on Ash Wednesday, my friend stops using isopropyl in lieu of dryer fluff...

He gives up alcohol for lint.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Dryer sheet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad-gamer35
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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There’s a hair dryer in my shower
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHoneyPot96
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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Why did Anna and Elsa install air dryers in all of the castle bathrooms?

To make it Hans free

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegendOfKhaos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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Tonight I took my son to hockey practice and realized my wife forgot to pack his jersey from the dryer.

She told me she had everything, and I was in a rush. So it got left behind. Figured it out right away as we were getting him changed and messaged my wife. She said she would bring it right away. I told my son "You mom is going to run your jersey over"

Without skipping a beat, he replied "Well that won't work, practice will probably be over. I wish she would just drive it over"

Then he gave me a huge grin. I told him he won the dad joke of the day and he continued smiling all the way until bedtime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilkCanMatt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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What is a dryers favourite chocolate?

Lindt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday

She wasn’t blown away

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/McAnixza
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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Every dad at some point. Wife: Don’t let me forget to put clothes in the dryer in an hour. Me: Don’t forget to put clothes in the dryer in an hour. Wife: Killer death stare
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bismuth482
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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My wife was wanting to throw a shirt into the dryer to get the wrinkles out but she wanted to spray it with water first. She couldn’t find a spray bottle close by so she instead grabbed the iron to spray it... talk about the ultimate irony.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vonberns
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My dryer filter broke yesterday

Today was the first day of Lint

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3io4ehg
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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I told my daughter that hair dryers use magic to dry hair.

It was just a lot of hot air.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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Poker player after taking laundry out of the dryer - "I fold"
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecentPlastic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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I just got a new job of drying plates with a hair dryer...

It’s dish-gusting

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Finn-GJ
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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The first air dryer ever created probably blew everybody!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nitinbargali
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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Why was the hipster waiting for the dryer to finish?

To get his clothes before they were cool.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrimsonFlash
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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My wife accidentally put over $200 of cash through the washer and dryer, her uncle couldn't help himself.

https://imgur.com/a/QDA0hRE

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
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Walked into the laundry room while my wife was unloading the dryer... She says,"I'm sweating my a$$ off"

I said," ahh sweatin to the foldies"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madastep12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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I'm giving up checking my dryer for Lent.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jefuchs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you put Robert De niro in the dryer?

Al Pacino

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you say about a faulty hand dryer?

It blows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/patrickloftus_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?

A linty-hop

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scardeal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2017
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Found a perfectly good washer and dryer just laying around
πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diamondwolf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
🚨︎ report
Every time as a kid when I would pull out fresh laundry from the dryer..

You know how those clothes are from Star Trek? (without waiting for a response or to even take a breath) Because they're Cling-on's! (klingons). laughs at own joke and walks away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharra_Blackfire
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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Washington Post Headline: IBM ends campaign urging women to hack hair dryers after heated blowback

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2015/12/08/ibm-ends-campaign-urging-women-to-hack-hair-dryers-after-heated-blowback/?hpid=hp_hp-cards_hp-card-technology%3Ahomepage%2Fcard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samsdeadfishclub
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2015
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I have a dryer sense of humor...

It's right next to my washer sense of humor.

Background: explaining a dumb joke to a girl and it got awkward and I just tried to make it go away by saying "I have a dryer sense of humor", then immediately saw my opportunity and whipped out "It's right next to my washer sense of humor." We laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/junkfever
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2014
🚨︎ report
What did the vacuum say when the blow dryer took him to see a cheesy movie?

"This sucks."

What did the blow dryer say in retort?

"Blow me."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daveklok
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2014
🚨︎ report
I work in 25 minutes and my clothes were in the dryer...

Me: Dad, is the dryer still running?

Dad: Nope.

I walk back to my room

Dad: Waayzii?

Me: Yeah?

Dad: The dryer doesn't have legs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waayzii
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2014
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So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.

I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exallium
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Emptied the dryer's lint trap today.

It gave me warm fuzzies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikemol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2015
🚨︎ report

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