The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”
... but the heavier ones need a crane .
I knew she had it in her.
Let that sink in.
It was written on stationary paper.
It keeps giving me mixed results.
Me : "it's because light travels faster than sound"
I'm only 20 please help
With Putincart
Then I realized Pizzas don't have livers.
She asked what had happened to it,
I told her the box had a leek in it.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
It’s called Tailor Swift.
People called him Santa Claws
I was just expecting a shingle pallet
It's about thyme.
The waiter responds “It’s tap quality”
It's an imposter!
He sleighed Christmas this year.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
Right away, I took a shine to her!
And received an empty box
https://i.imgur.com/9IrzGtD.jpg
Hail Caesar
That's the last time I order a dictionary from Ikea.
It's best to just pick them up.
“Thanks for helping me out.”
It’s called Matcha the Day
I really should speak to a therapist about my post-traumatic stress disorder.
Home is where the heart is.
The place smelled like hotdogs.
Sounds like pie in the sky to me.
I guess you could say that there's...
white mail privilege
Bigger babies need a crane
But, the heavier ones need a crane.
but the heavier ones need a crane.
but the heavier ones need a crane.
Large babies are delivered by cranes.
but larger babies are delivered by a crane
.. and he's wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.' The woman returns the next day and to her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check, 'There's no charge.' 'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit,' she says. 'Honestly, ma'am,' the mortician says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.' 'So I just switched the heads.'
