What do you call a cruise ship filled with skilled artisans?
What do you call some who steals a glass of juice on a cruise?
When I came to the cruise party with an eyepatch on and a cutlass only to see everyone in suits and ties,
I realized I was dressed inappropirately
What do you call a Cruise liner full of academics?
I knew everyone on my cruise
guess it was a pretty good relation-ship
please don't execute me
Sailing aboard the new cruise liner SS Penis is by invitation only.
It's an exclusive member ship.
If Tom Cruise owned a liquor store, what would he call it?
Did you know in Germany the Tom Cruise movie ‘The Firm’ is the sequel to Die Hard?
Does Tom Cruise look like this?
My wife is nervous about having to talk to strangers on a cruise we are about to take.
I said, “Don’t worry. We are all in the same boat.”
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Whats it like working on a cruise ship?
It has it's ups and downs
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
My friend said we are cancelling the cruise
I said “knot on my watch!”
I just bought a cruise vacation!
Couldn't help it. It was too good of a sail.
I ask my friends if they wanted to go on a cruise this summer.
I was cruising one day and saw a midget scaling down the wall of a prison
I thought "That's a lil condescending"
Did you hear about the cruise ship that got stuck in the Panama Canal with dead people aboard?
They're in a die-er strait.
Ad by a Scandinavia cruise ship
Carnival is offering a deluxe trip where you leave your senior citizens and kids behind in the snow..
They are calling it “Ted Cruise”
My flat-earth cruise to Antarctica was cancelled
It was disappointing, but not the end of the world.
My wife was worried about meeting new people on our upcoming cruise.
I said “Don’t worry we’ll all be in the same boat”
If Tom Cruise and Terry Crews sold tickets for a meet and greet on a Ship headed for Mexico, they'd advertise the Cruise-Crews Cruise to Veracruz.
I just read that the Carnival cruise ship "Glory" crashed into the Carnival cruise ship "Legend"
It left a legendary glory hull
What is the best kind of joke to tell on a cruise ship?
What is it called when a bunch of carpenters and masons on the cruise?
Tom Cruise is minute.
That's what I named my pet Amphibian.
A car cruising down a rural country suddenly backfires.
As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. He dismounts and gives a happy “Hello! Sounds like you’re having some car trouble. Can I help at all?” The woman replies that she’s not sure what happened but that she would love some help. They pop the hood and the man says he thinks he can fix the problem but has to run back to his barn to get some tools. The cows have come to see what’s going on and as the farmer gets ready to leave he says “Don’t worry about your car. I’ll have it running in a few minutes. Just head over there to the shade of the tree by the fence. The cows are all friendly. Bessy there likes to have her ear rubbed, Albert likes to look at people, and Mare will just moo a grand ole tune.” All of it is true and within 20 minutes the woman is happily sitting in her car with the engine running better than before. “Thank you so much, you’re a life saver,” she says. The man smiles and lets out a big laugh before saying “I’m glad I could help. But I’m no life saver. I’m just a jolly rancher.”
Apple have cancelled thier planned cruise ship, the iTanic.
Apparently it kept synching when docked
Edit: I know spelling of 'their' is wrong. Cannot be changed.
I took a group of flat-earthers on a cruise all the way around Antarctica...
they were disappointed, but it wasn’t the end of the world.
My mate secretly booked a cruise for me in the world's longest river.
I'm completely in the Nile.
Why can Tom Cruise never lose?
Because Submission impossible
My friend met the love of his life when the were both vomiting overboard after a rhinovirus hit their cruise ship...
It was a match made in heaving!
I was so happy when my toddler reached out and tried to touch Tom Cruise.
He's already reaching for the stars.
As a dyslexic, having autocorrect is both a blessing and a cruise.
Did you hear about the wine enthusiasts atttacking a cruise ship recently...?
....I heard they were sommelier pirates!
Our room number on the cruise was U2
We still haven’t found what we’re looking for
Did you hear about the new tomato soup and crackers movie starring Tom Cruise?
It’s called Bisquey Ritzness
Did you guys know that, in Germany, the Tom Cruise 'The Firm' is actually just the Die Hard sequel?
If Tom Cruise owned a liquor company
Would it be a Whiskey Business?
My wife was nervous about meeting new people on our cruise.
I said, “Don’t worry, we are all in the same boat.”
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