I have an addiction to unpowered flight puns, but I don't like to talk about it.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 04 2020
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
π︎ 64
π
︎ May 23 2021
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jun 01 2021
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
π︎ 38
π
︎ May 26 2021
Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"
"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
π︎ 692
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
Why are the Hershey kisses not allowed in SpaceX flights?
Because Mars has monopoly
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 29 2021
I lost my luggage on a flight to Helsinki once,
It vanished into Finnair.
Stolen from Keep Laughing Forever
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.
Unfortunately now weβve got a load of confirmed cases...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
A man was seen doing something curious on a flight to Europe
Before boarding the plane, he threw some salt off the flight bridge
After they landed, he tossed some paprika
On the next leg, some nutmeg and a pinch of cumin.
The flight crew saw the combination, there was only one conclusion they could make...
He was a seasoned traveler
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
Which one of the flight attendants is a crossdresser?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I donβt have much of a case.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
How to fall down a flight of stairs
Step 1:
Step 2:
Step 4:
Step 9 :
Step 17:
Step 36:
Floor
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
The Captain of our flight called the cops when he saw a film crew
He heard they were there to shoot a pilot
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
Flight of stairs.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
π︎ 45
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, βIf the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?β
I said, βNo, we will still be friends.β
π︎ 197
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
I once sat next to a baby on a 10 hour flight. I had no idea that it was possible for someone to cry for 10 hours straight.
Even the baby was impressed.
π︎ 80
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
Dad Flights Inc. is losing business
Some would say itβs a receding airline...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
I have a joke about flight MH370
But Iβm afraid it wonβt land
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 24 2020
My friend fell down a flight of steps then started looking at me without breaking eye contact...
I'm not sure why he was stairing.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
A flight to Kansas.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Sep 28 2018
It wasn't too long after the Wright brothers took flight..
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
The first rule of flight club...
is to take flying lessons. Also know how to read carefully.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Oct 25 2018
There was a spider on my flight today
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
π︎ 39
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
Last time I was on a flight, the stewardess approached me and asked, βSir, would you care for a drink?β
I asked her, βwhat are my options?β
She said, βyes or no.β
π︎ 71
π
︎ May 08 2020
So I was on a flight the other day when they guy next to me asked me if I heard of βbird strikes.β
I honestly didnβt think they could hold signs.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
Donβt be latte for your flight
π︎ 57
π
︎ Oct 05 2019
Did you know that flight simulator game sales have increased since the outbreak?
A lot of pilots are working from home too!
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 26 2020
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
βMama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!β
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 09 2020
Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
My brother has a pilot's licence but only for private flights. So, he put ads all over his plane.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 10 2020
I pushed a chinese person down a flight of stairs
It was wong on so many levels
π︎ 78
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
Flight of Fight
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
A man caught a deadly virus while waiting for his flight at the airport
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
I was helping my friend move when I accidentally dropped his box of vinyl down a long flight of stairs.
The distance it fell was record breaking.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Mar 08 2020
Just got off a long flight home from Chernobyl
And boy are my arms legs.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Dec 02 2017
Dad is taking a flight today so asked my mom if he got off without a hitch
βYes. The hitch was too heavy to bring along.β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 24 2020
This butter came with my in-flight meal
π︎ 696
π
︎ Oct 14 2017
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Aug 28 2019
I was on the phone to an airline rep booking a flight.
She asked, "Window or Aisle?"
After a moment, I replied, "or you'll what?"
π︎ 22
π
︎ Nov 28 2019
Why did the rooster miss its flight?
Because it forgot to chick-en.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 17 2019
What do you call a Korean high school girl who flights crime in spare time?
Kimchi Possible, obviously
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
Did you hear about the doctor on the United flight?
π︎ 135
π
︎ Sep 25 2018
What triggers a Spanish man's Fight or Flight response?
π︎ 45
π
︎ Mar 15 2019
Did you hear about the Chinese quadrublet flight pioneers?
No you didn't. Two Wongs doesn't make one Wright.
Also, edit before anyone sees this: Yes, it's spelled quadruplet. I'm mildly drunk and I can't edit the title.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 29 2019
The first rule of flight club...
Is to take flying lessons. Also know how to read carefully.
π︎ 132
π
︎ Jul 30 2019
I just sat next to a baby on a 12 hour flight. I had no idea that someone could cry for 12 hours straight.
Even the baby seemed impressed.
π︎ 75
π
︎ Sep 27 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.