who was shakespeares reptilian cousin?
Why did Bruce Lee get scared by his cousin from Sudan? Because cousin SudanLee appeared out of nowhere.
One of my cousins is thinking of becoming a Dominican monk. I think he was drawn to their decision making process.
Those Dominicans have quite the republic.
A cousin of mine posted a couple of jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted them.
He’s my cousin, twice [removed]
My 8 year old nephew attended his first wedding. But his cousin had a question for his after the ceremony.
"Hey, how many women can a guy marry?"
"16!"
"How did you figure that out."
"Simple. I just listen to the minister and added them up: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. That's 16!
I went to my cousin and said “skattadly bop biddop.” He didn’t like it so I replied “skiddly bip skattup.”
There’s more than one way to Scat a Kin.
Note: couldn’t crosspost from r/dadjokes. Just reposted my own post...
I was commenting on how everyone at my cousin's science academy commencement looked like cylinders.
Since they're all... graduated.
Playing “tag” in the Addams Family must be very confusing if your cousin’s there...
Did you know Danny DeVito has a cousin from the old west?
Does anyone know if Barney Rubble has any cousins?
If he doesn't that means he's a Rubble without a cuz.
What do you call Mary J Blige’s overly accommodating Irish cousin?
Albert Einstein married his cousin Elsa
Even his marriage was relative
My cousin peed his pants the other day.
I told him "Yer in trouble."
My cousin had a bad experience on the tram
My Cousin Blames Me For Him Tripping On His Own Driveway.
I don’t understand, it’s his own stupid asphalt.
TIL that Both Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein married their first cousins.
For both, it’s all relative.
My cousin tries to keep posting jokes on this sub, but gets repeatedly banned by the mods.
He’s my cousin, twice [removed].
Recently went camping with my deaf cousin.
My cousin is trying to fit the most elephants, geese and bulls ever in a vintage music shop.
He's breaking all sorts of records.
Ever heard of the CakeMouse's famous cousin?
My cousin told his dad this one.
"Hey Dad, what do you get when you add five Q's to five Q's ?"
"Uh, ten Q's? Right?"
"You're welcome. Not a problem."
My cousin texted me this.
My cousin died when an A/C unit fell on him.
Grandma texted to say my cousin named her baby girl Hadison.
I was playing football with my younger cousin earlier today
Unfortunately, I kicked it too hard and it broke the window.
We called the repair guy and, apparently when he came two hours later, the window was still in pane.
My sister asked me to keep my nephew from playing games on his tablet all night. I suggested he builds a fort with his cousin.
He instantly replied, “but mom said I couldn’t play Fort Night”
(He’s gonna be a great dad some day)
Just found out my cousin who had a stuttering problem died in prison
He didn't even finish his sentence
Picking my cousin up from work at Target, asked her if she's in Style this week (fitting room/clothing)
Her dad said "she's never in style, she's always out of style. Her clothes never look good"!
My cousin runs a thriving deer farm.
He’s really rolling in the doe.
My young cousin showed me a stuffed lion wearing a tux.
Told me it’s a “dandy-lion”.
My cousin is an aspiring plumber. He asked me how to be successful.
"Hard work and defecation."
My Canadian cousin used to be an alcoholic
He's doing better since he joined the Eh Eh
I recently found out that my spanish friend killed his cousin because he stole his train model.
Guess it is a pretty loco motive
My stupid cousin thinks he's collected one of every board game ever made.
That idiot doesn't have a Clue.
My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.
'Stuff was completely one-sided
My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...
My 7yo cousin told my dad this joke yesterday:
Context: Yesterday my dad and I were cruising around doing some father's day bonding. We see a big grassy field with some trees in it and he says, "That looks like a great place to play frisbee." I respond, "And an even better place to play frisbee golf!" (A game we made up where you throw frisbees around trees)
My cousin was quietly playing on her iPad when she responds, "That's hockey."
My cousin is the most bad ass person I know
When he poops the whole house stinks.
Did anyone know that Cardi B had an Irish cousin who is a lung/heart specialist?
She's named Cardi O'Vascular.
I went to my cousin and said “skattadly bop biddop.” He didn’t like it so I replied “skiddly bip skattup.”
There’s more than one way to Scat a Kin.
My cousin posted two jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted both of them.
He is my cousin, twice [removed]
What do you call Mary J Blige’s overly accommodating Irish cousin?
I just found out that my cousin with a stuttering problem died in prison.
He didn’t even finish his sentence.
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