A few minutes ago at dinner, I came to the conclusion that tofu is highly overrated.

It’s just a curd to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Don’t always draw conclusions
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arjunk69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Today my wife accidentally pushed flower pot with her elbow. After 3 hours of arguingshe came to a conclusion that

I put it in the wrong place...... 3 years ago

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newdoc123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Let her draw her own conclusions
πŸ‘︎ 797
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T0XiCxTURTLEzz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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In light of current events, I've been doing some self reflection and I came to the conclusion that I need to be more like a German child.

I need to be kinder.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/strmgdndl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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How does a waterfowl reach a conclusion?

through in-Duck-tion

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Generic_Usernm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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When someone commits suicide via jumping they literally jump to a conclusion.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kohpGao
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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I tell people to hold their horses before jumping to conclusions.

I just want them to have stable lives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firebelias
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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Conclusion of UK leaving EU

You could say the EU now has 1 GB of free space

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emberium
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2016
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Whenever I think about Alexander Fleming

I come to a conclusion he must have been a fungi to work with.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArinaPipina
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Beer time

I did some yardwork yesterday and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions. Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case. Time for another beer.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/berryville_con
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
There are two types of people
  1. Those who can extrapolate conclusions from incomplete data.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/welfarewonders
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
A man was walking along a stream..

... when he noticed that every shoot growing put of the ground was a four leaf shamrock. There were millions of them, spread out along both banks.

Being superstitious, the man assumed the place must be somehow imbued with an extraordinary amount of luck.

He sought out the owner of the land, and promptly bought it, spending everything he had to do so.

His plan was to build a small house at the site and thereby ensure he would be surrounded by good fortune for the rest of his life.

Sadly, while lifting smooth river stones to create the foundation of his dream home, he slipped on some mud, hit his head on a stone, was knocked unconscious, tumbled into the water, and drowned.

This conclusively proved to the townsfolk, that the location was not lucky at all.

The moral of this story?

Don't judge a brook by it's clover.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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I've just discovered I have a logic fetish...

I can't stop coming to conclusions.

πŸ‘︎ 286
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
"I think I have a weird fetish for the end of an essay."

"How do you know that?" "I just just came to that conclusion."

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was seen doing something curious on a flight to Europe

Before boarding the plane, he threw some salt off the flight bridge

After they landed, he tossed some paprika

On the next leg, some nutmeg and a pinch of cumin.

The flight crew saw the combination, there was only one conclusion they could make...

He was a seasoned traveler

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Spring is in the air
πŸ‘︎ 23k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Putin a title here
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timothy5597
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Sketchy af
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuxedoGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...

they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamingNZ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Lettuce rejoice.
πŸ‘︎ 273
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quibblicous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
They said that my house is haunted

Doors opened by itself, Shower turned on by itself and many other unexplained activities.

i come to the conclusion that it was John Cena

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Some people have jumped off of something and died

They jumped to a conclusion and made an impact

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BasementSkeleton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Long story about a tragedy that once happened to me.

A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the porch out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.

Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend

Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together , left me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.

In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My new house has a lot of trap doors.

During my walkthrough it was a floor gone conclusion.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I went on a blind date yesterday, it didn’t work out.

Turns out I'm more into curtains.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s Pinocchio’s favorite position?

Lying

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkieFall2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
All the comic books I inherited from my brother have their last page ripped off.

I have to draw my own conclusions.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Some of the gem's of Steven Wright

The work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

1 Β  - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2Β Β  - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3Β Β  - Half the people you know are below average.

4Β Β  - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6 Β  - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7Β Β  - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 Β  - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.

9 Β  - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.

25 - If at first, you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is a place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ksbalaji
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Four Worms and a lesson

A Southern minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol -Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke -Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'

That pretty much ended the service.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My older bother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sexxc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When you sad, but pun game on point. imgur.com/a/o2IVp
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizardofwordplay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2016
🚨︎ report
All the comic books I bought from the store seem to be missing the last page.

I have to draw my own conclusions.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Artists are independent thinkers.

They draw their own conclusions.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is highly overrated.

It’s just a curd to me.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
A few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is overrated.

It’s just a curd to me.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was having dinner a few minutes ago, and I came to the conclusion that tofu is really overrated.

It’s just a curd to me.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
While having dinner, I just came to the conclusion that tofu is highly overrated.

It’s just a curd to me.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I think I have a fetish for the last paragraph in an essay

I just came to that conclusion.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinterChaser
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
This joke ends in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 3, 2, 1

It’s a four-gone conclusion.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I've just discovered that I have a logic fetish

I can't stop coming to conclusions

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MorgetGaming
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I have just discovered that I have a logic fetish,

I can't stop coming to conclusions.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report

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