"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
I get pie with a little spelt from my friends!
Sons of batches
I was actually going to post a chemistry joke, but I was afraid I wouldn't get a reaction...
He is the 'Ginger Breadman'!
My uncle: "The baked goods at the Anderson's (local grocery store) are pretty good."
Me: "I guess that's why the call them baked "goods" and not baked "bads.""
I'm a 24 year old female and still got groans from my uncle and dad.
Geology rocks, geography is where it’s at. But ultimately, making mirrors is what I really see myself doing.
i’m such a egg head
Jack and the beans talk
Now I can’t open it, as the door faces the wall.
How dairy
Is a good way to get baked
It's tradition to bring baked goods (typically doughnuts) after you get your security clearance. I never bothered to ask why. I just figured it was a nice thing to do. Then it hit me...
Doughnuts and bagels are granted on a knead-to-dough basis.
It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.
Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.
When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.
The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.
The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.
Scissors always cut to the point.
Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.
When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.
Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”
i c e i c e w a t e r
Architecture is an aspiring career path.
‘Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.
I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.
Plants should always rooted in the ground.
Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.
Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.
Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.
Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.
My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.
I am not a fan of wind turbines.
Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.
Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.
Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.
Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.
A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.
I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.
Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.
Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.
I'm really proud of this one.
I'm at my desk while my wife's baking cookies in the kitchen, just around the corner. I heard a metallic snapping sound followed shortly by an “Oh no!”, so I called out:
> "What's wrong?"
> “I broke my whisk!”
> "Oh, that sucks."
> “It was my favorite one!”
See it coming yet?
> "Well, then that's a whisk we're just gonna have to tape."
I was bringing in a baked good that those who share my religious faith eat on special occasions. This was also the summer when the song "Hollaback Girl" was popular. As I'm leaving the car, my dad tells me, "If nobody eats the bread, make sure you don't bring it back, because then you'd be a Challah-back Boy."
Me: "Hey Dad, what's in the box?"
Dad: "That box? Nah that's just a box of trash! I found it on the side of the road!"
Me: "Really! C'mon Dad, whatcha get?"
Dad: "I'm telling you, it's a box of trash!"
My dad has never failed to use this line any time he gets that mysterious white box of baked goods (be it crumb cake, donuts, or cinnamon buns), and it's never failed to make me run immediately to the box to see what was really in it.
My mom accidentally baked the chicken upside down in the oven, then asked how it was.
My dad answered "good but since you cooked it upside down I have to chew on the other side of my mouth."
