I was grilling steak this morning...
I just finished grilling a steak.
It refuses to tell me who it’s working for.
I am grilling tonight. I don't know how these sausages will turn out...
but I am expecting the wurst.
I told my wife that I don’t go by my real name while grilling
While I was grilling, my son asked "can I get pickles on my burger, If it's not too much to ask?"
I was grilling pizza for dinner tonight...
I was explaining the steps and process to my daughter.
I asked her, "do you know what you call the important and precious moments just before you burn the crust?"
She shook her head no.
"....Crunch time...."
Was out in the backyard grilling some burgers for my daughter and her friends but they'd lined up a bunch of dolls to get food too
Unexpected dad joke from Mom... My dad was grilling pork chops today. Normally not a fan, but I decided to try a bite. It was delicious, so I turned to my dad and said, "Wow Dad! These pork chops are really well done!" From behind me, Mom quipped...
"Actually, they're medium-well."
I paused for a good 10 seconds as it began to sink in, and then gave her the biggest applause I could.
I'm so happy.
I'm not that good at grilling meat.
I make a lot of misteaks.
Grilling Hamburgers
"Hey ____, you want your buns toasted?"
If yes: "Come on over and take a seat on the grill"
If no: "Good, the grill doesn't have room for your fat ass to sit anyway."
Summer grilling
On my way out to the backyard grill...
Mother-in-law: What did you say?
Me: I said I almost forgot the lighter.
MIL: Oh, I thought you said you needed the ladder.
Me: That's right, I need the ladder. Because the steaks have never been higher.
Me to my dad while he is grilling: Can I have a hot dog with everything on it?
...Everything isn't going to fit on one little hot dog.
While grilling I dropped a Brat on the ground...
It was a Wurst-case scenario.
Dad joke while grilling
We were making some burgers on the grill and after they were done the coals still had some life left. I asked my dad, "If you want we could toast the buns." He replied, "Of course! To the buns!" raising his glass in the air.
Grilling Chicken
So I asked my dad (a pretty good cook) how to properly grill chicken. His response:
In a basement cement block room, with a locked door, place a chair under a bright light. Have the chicken sit in the chair and aggressively ask it probing questions.
If it doesn't give honest answers, slap it around a little.
After grilling for my family
I came in with grilled steaks, sausage, and hot dogs. I yelled up to my dad that hot dogs were ready and he says "Alright, sounds like a WEINER to me"
At the office barbecue, I grilled some rare steak for our boss, and he said, “I like it well done.”
I said, “Thanks. That means a lot.”
I grilled up some fish for dinner for a friend one time, they told me they didn't eat seafood.
I told them it was fine, because I caught the fish in a lake.
I recently switched from using mayonnaise to using butter for making grilled cheese sandwiches. My wife said she liked them more with the butter, but kindly asked me if it was more work this way?
I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."
Note: this really happened.
At a garage sale yesterday I got a George Foreman grill and a Muhammed Ali DVD set...
It took me two hours to grill a chicken the other day…
And it still didn't tell my why it crossed the road…
"We're here to offer support, not to grill you," they said at my review meeting.
"Like a bra, not a braai"
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Based on true events. I had to stop myself from blurting that out.
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Thanks to u/rumbustiousben for reminding me that not everyone knows what a braai is - it's a barbecue in Afrikaans and commonly used as part of English by South Africans
I tried grilled Aloe Vera at a restaurant today.
My friend was going to barbecue baby backs but fell in the way to the grill...
What do wilderness survival experts use to cook their burgers
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
What will a chinese grill use when a wok is too slow
What do you call a monk who steals a grilled cheese sandwich right off the griddle?
Out of the frying pan and into the friar.
What happens when chickens lay eggs at the top of a hill?
A bear walks into a restaurant and says, "I'd like a grilled.......... cheese"
The waiter responds: "what's with the big pause? "
Me to home Depot employee: I want to see your grills
Home Depot employee who happens to be Nelly who has fallen on hard times: you want to see my what?
What do you call a refrigerated grilled cheese?
I had breakfast at The Mesa Grill and got food poisoning. My lawyer said that I had a good case, but I'm a man.
I just didn't wanna sue Flay.
Today I took all my daughter’s dolls and lined them up by the window facing our grill
I was just preparing a Barbie Queue
We should grill this message into people
What’s the difference between a dad and a grill?
Just finished cleaning my grill.
Being made out of gold, in fact, this is not like the other grills
A horse walks into a bar and grill...
The bartender says, "hey."
The horse says, "neigh. But I'll take some Quick Oats for the road."
The asphalt in the corner says, "thanks."
My neighbor had a BBQ party, and some guest threw a grill at his face.
The attack made headlines.
How do you call a Sea creature that only cares about himself?
I can't bearlieve it. Also notice that the place is called Bear Grills.
So I asked my dad if he pre-cooked the grilled chicken.
He responded with, “It’s not walking away.”
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
How do you call a lawyer's grill party?
What’s a unit for every bar and grill for one waiting line?
While riding down the road today, a fish jumped out of a boat that was being towed, and smashed into the front of my car.
It wasn't all bad though, I love grilled fish.
At the office barbecue, I grilled a medium rare steak and my boss said, “I like it well done!”
I said, “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”
A grizzly bear walks into a restaurant and says “Can I get a grilled..............cheese?”
The waiter replies “Why the big pawse?”
...
“Because I’m a bear”
It took me two hours to grill a chicken the other day…
And it still didn't tell my why it crossed the road…
For sale: George Foreman grill and a Muhammad Ali dvd.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill.
Looks like she is preparing some kind of barbie queue.
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