Grilling Puns

Mesquite-Os!

He can't get rid of those mesquite-toes..

He is accused of eating both hamburgers and Hamburgers.

Didn’t mean to wagyu up

It refuses to tell me who it’s working for.

but I am expecting the wurst.

I go by Sir Loin

Me: It's not a big dill

I was explaining the steps and process to my daughter.

I asked her, "do you know what you call the important and precious moments just before you burn the crust?"

She shook her head no.

"....Crunch time...."

It was a barbie queue

"Actually, they're medium-well."

I paused for a good 10 seconds as it began to sink in, and then gave her the biggest applause I could.

I'm so happy.

I make a lot of misteaks.

"Hey ____, you want your buns toasted?"

If yes: "Come on over and take a seat on the grill"

If no: "Good, the grill doesn't have room for your fat ass to sit anyway."

On my way out to the backyard grill...

Mother-in-law: What did you say?

Me: I said I almost forgot the lighter.

MIL: Oh, I thought you said you needed the ladder.

Me: That's right, I need the ladder. Because the steaks have never been higher.

...Everything isn't going to fit on one little hot dog.

It was a Wurst-case scenario.

So I asked my dad (a pretty good cook) how to properly grill chicken. His response:

In a basement cement block room, with a locked door, place a chair under a bright light. Have the chicken sit in the chair and aggressively ask it probing questions.

If it doesn't give honest answers, slap it around a little.

We were making some burgers on the grill and after they were done the coals still had some life left. I asked my dad, "If you want we could toast the buns." He replied, "Of course! To the buns!" raising his glass in the air.

I came in with grilled steaks, sausage, and hot dogs. I yelled up to my dad that hot dogs were ready and he says "Alright, sounds like a WEINER to me"