Son: By law, you are actually required to turn on your headlights if if is raining in Sweden

Dad: Okay, but how the hell do I know if it’s raining in Sweden?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twistyturtles
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
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I got tired of flipping the little switch on my rear view mirror to dim the headlights.

So I removed the whole mirror.

I haven’t looked back since.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThriveBrewing
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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Why do posts about headlights when it's raining always make lots of karma?

Upvote for visibility

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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Saw someone driving last night after a snow storm and they didnt brush of their headlights….

Let me just say...they weren't too bright.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spidy123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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When it’s dark and you are picking up after your dog while a vehicle drives by with it’s headlights on, it is not only convenient, it is putting a spotlight on your civic duty
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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By law, you have to turn on your headlights if it is raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I supposed to know whether it is raining there?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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Caught a couple deere in my headlights imgur.com/fHE42Me
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πŸ‘€︎ u/13ravensflyby
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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I accidentally busted my headlight last night.

It wasn't my brightest moment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jar_of_salt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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How do you turn on headlights?

Louse porn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IdonJuanTatalya
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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Some of the gem's of Steven Wright

The work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

1 Β  - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2Β Β  - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3Β Β  - Half the people you know are below average.

4Β Β  - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6 Β  - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7Β Β  - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 Β  - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.

9 Β  - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have o

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ksbalaji
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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Some stories I'd like to share.

I had been driving for a few years and had just moved off to college.

I was on my way back home to visit and it got dark during my drive. My headlights and radio worked but my dash lights were not coming on. When I got home I asked my dad about it and he said he'd go take a look. He went outside then comes back in the house just a few minutes later.

Me: "Did you find out what the problem is?"

Dad: "I think so."

Me: "Well, what was it?"

Dad: "I'll have to show you tomorrow, if I'm right then we're going to have fun working on your truck all morning."

We wait until morning, and dad wakes me up to go work on my truck. We go outside and he has me walk him through the entire problem again. Which lights were working and which were not, has me start the truck a few times and has me do the same troubleshooting I did the night before. I was getting frustrated and told him I tried absolutely everything.

Then he says "I think there's one thing you forgot." He points at a knob by the st

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JIGGLY_BALL
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
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Get my prego wife every night with this gem when when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest

'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things while you're out there.... especially car headlights!'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rapidfire_puns
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2015
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Dads, Jokes, and Automobiles

On the phone with my dad, he says "There goes some idiot driving down the road with no headlights on."

Without hesitation I reply, "Well, that's not very bright."

Dad was proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CosmicEngender
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
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Even during this, my dad still tries to pull off a joke

So, let's start off with a fact about myself: I'm vegetarian. I've been one my whole life. Now, let's get to the story.

Basically, I was driving down to camp at a Battleship with my dad (for a Boy Scouts trip), and this was during my first 6 months of learning to drive. This was the most intense trip for me (so far), and I was already nervous about driving on the interstate, so I was doing my best to practice proper driver etiquette.

Now, here's where the story gets interesting. I'm cruising down the interstate, going approximately 70 mph in the middle lane, when all of a sudden, I see a deer emerge onto the road from the right. It's running to the left (aka, trying to cross this interstate). The car to the right of me slams on the brakes, so the deer kept running. I slammed on my breaks as hard as I could, BARELY missing the deer. The car to the left of me was unlucky. The deer smashes its head into the left car's headlight and it flips over to the right (over my car). Clearly, it's

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chunkymonkeyman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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Another grandpa joke

20 years ago Grandpa was driving us home, at night, on a country road when the headlights of an approaching car appeared in the distance. Lifting his arm up, pointing at the oncoming vehicle, he asked:

  • Do you think I can fit through the gap between those two motorcycles?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DashcamWarriors
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2015
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I think this may qualify, even though it was before I was a dad, and it wasn't really a joke.

'Interactive lecture' in a Systems Engineering class (not that that's relevant) when the Assistant Professor starts directing questions to the students to move forward in the lecture material.

Settles on me and asks me a pretty straightforward question that I started overthinking and got all deer-in-the-headlight-y.

Fancies himself some sort of comedian so he quips "C'mon, I'm throwing you a softball (question)."

To this I come up with an immediate response: "I don't play softball."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LickItAndSpreddit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2015
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Dad joked by my workmate...

I'm a mechanic, and our work van has some cheap after market headlights installed. One wasn't working and I found out its because they're poorly made. I commented "Look at this Chinese crap!" He turned around and says "No, this is a Chinese crap" and squats down on the floor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoulFate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2014
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