The markup on molded rubber shoes is obscene

What a croc!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PulkPush
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Nothing I can do about it
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs1104666
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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I dig it
πŸ‘︎ 522
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loot98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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I had a cup of soda with mold growing on it

Pop Culture

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToxianLeader
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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Growing Mold Together
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Average_Abby
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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A man was laughing uncontrollably while making disfigures face molds.

When he was asked why he simply replied, β€œI can’t keep a straight face”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Comsicwastaken
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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What did Elsa say when she ate the spoilt bread?

The mold never bothered me anyway.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I used to handle injection molds at the keyboard plant.

They fired me when I lost control.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeeTheENTP
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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My dad told me that when he dies, he wants his ashes to be made into fireworks so he can go out with a bang.

I said, "Ok, boomer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/misterrandom1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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My new dentist called me and said that he needs to make another mold of my teeth.

He made a terrible first impression.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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A guy came by my workshop today to pick up a replica of his butt that I molded out of silicone

He literally had his ass handed to him.

πŸ‘︎ 500
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DandeLion-King
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
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Fungi have thrived on Earth for more than 400 million years

You know what they say... history favors the mold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bamboo-harvester
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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What is gray and not very heavy?

Light gray.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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I went over to my dad's house this morning for breakfast. With a worried look, I turned to him and said, "Dad, did you know there's mold in your fridge?"

He came over and saw this. I honestly don't know why he wasn't prepared for that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grammarxcore
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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Not sure if this fits the mold, but I am a dad and I like it...

So 3 explorers were captured by the king of a pacific island. One explorer was from Paris, one was from London, and one was from New York. The island king told them that they were all going to be killed, and that their skins would be used to make canoes. The king gave them a choice as to how they would die.

The explorer from Paris chose to be killed by a guillotine, and they cut off his head.

The explorer from London chose to be killed by a gun, and they shot him in the head.

The explorer from New York chose to be killed by a fork. The island kind was confused. He didn't know what to do with the fork, so he gave it to the explorer from New York. The guy immediately starts stabbing himself all over with the fork. There is blood everywhere and it's a horrific scene. The dismayed island king asks the explorer from New York what the hell he's doing, and the New Yorker replies...

FUCK YOU AND YOUR GOD-DAMN CANOE.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nimble2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
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I'm trying to think of new funghi jokes...

Because theres just not mushroom for the same mold, sporing ones anymore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedso85
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Why did they think the new pig roast had mold?

It was a little green behind the ears!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
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Two pieces of bread are talking to each other

Bread 1: So you like mold now?

Bread 2: Yeah it grew on me

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yunndo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Was discussing getting rid of mold from walls with my dad...

Sister: just make sure you wear masks when you do it.

Dad: That way the mold can't see us, right?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quad9363
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2013
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Who else eats bread with the white and green spots?

Edit: Thanks for the mold kind stranger

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crixzly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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A guy walks into an old, dusty grocery store and asks, "Do you guys have any rockfort cheese?"

Attendant: "What's rockfort cheese?"

Guy: "It's cheese with this blueish mold in it."

Attendant: "Sorry, I don't think we have rockfort cheese. But, if you want, we do have rockfort bread, rockfort milk, and rockfort sausages!"

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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I (35/f) just dad joked my dad while out for lunch

The parents and I went to a mexican place for lunch. I got a strawberry daiquiri that they mistakeningly made with copious amounts of tequila.

3/4 of the way through the drink I look over to the corner or the restaurant and say, "Dad! We shouldn't have eaten here. They're molding in the corner!"

Both turn to look, mom groans and hangs her head, a look of understanding, then pride slowly moves across his face.

There was infact, and long piece of wood moulding propped up in the corner of the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crochetyhooker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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Why the boys get stale bread on the roadtrip?

Because the bread mold was a fun-gi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kansalsid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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Wanted to make an extra cheesy Valentine for my SO who hates commercial holidays but loves puns.

"I camembert if I’ve told you today, but just in queso I haven’t, you're looking sharp! I havarti accepted you stilton love β€œcheesy” holidays, but ricotta think things can only get feta with a little roman(ce)o. It colby just me, but I swiss you very much when we’re apart. It’s cheddar when we’re together because then I don’t feel provolone. I think we go gouda together, and I want to grow mold with you. Wheel you brie my valentine?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acertaingestault
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2016
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Thought of this one today. Eager to test it out. Report back with your findings, dads.

Next time someone says "same old, same old" i am going to respond with "mold mold"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
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I was out with my friends.

(Friend)- "I had to throw out my bag of holding something was growing in it." (Me)- "I guess now it's a bag of molding"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bossmoss91
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2017
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Why does the Pope live in the Sistine chapel?

Because the first fifteen weren't good enough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattrg777
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
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What did the 70 year old fungus say?

I mold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pizzaface97
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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One of my friends told me a real cheesy pun.

But it was a mold joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kami_of_Water
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2017
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Tried to teach my 4yo daughter about fungus...

When her mother came home and asked about our day, my daughter replied: "Oh you know... Say mold, say mold"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amplifier_Worship
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
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Dad pulled this one while we were remodeling the kitchen.

Dad Is on a ladder putting up molding. Me: Do you need me to hold anything? Dad: Yeah, your horses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coldshowergod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
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Daughter: "Does jello go bad?"

Dad: "It gets molded."

Credit to a friend who came up with this, and who took a minute to understand why I was laughing at his answer.

Thought I would share it with you bunch of fun guys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarbogman
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2016
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A new spin on an old classic

We are remodeling the bathroom due to mold, and long story short Nicholas wasn't allowed in his room. While in the front room he moaned as loudly as he could "I'm booooooooooooooreeeeed"; I picked up the nearest 2x4, stuck it out the door and said "Hi board, I'm plank".

I got two chuckles from the contracter and my stepdad, and an "ungh" from Nicholas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d_wootang
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2014
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We don't even live in Russia

Friend: Picks up bread, retches in disgust and throws in trash Me: What just happened Friend: There was bare mold on that bread Me: That's why you don't let bears near your bread

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumerusMedic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
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Learning about geographical disease distribution.

Teacher: "Does anyone know what molds and stuff can be found in various locations?"

Me: "Well I'm a fungi, and I'm usually here in Colorado."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/420boobs69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2016
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He dragged me out of the apartment for that pun.

Not a dad, but this is in line with it all.
It was a party around Halloween-time, but not specifically a Halloween party. Things were wrapping up, people were heading out and my roommates were saying goodbye.

They were doing some goofy ass handshake, bumping fists, slapping, all that dumb shit.

While they're wasting time, I look on the table and see various Halloween decorations, including body parts made out of Jell-O. They're slightly jiggling, as all Jell-O molds seem to do.

I quietly mumble "Hehe... handshake."

The host of the party looks at me and says "Are you making fun of our hand shake?"

Without saying anything else, I reach over to the table, pick up the plate the Jell-O zombie hand is on, hold it close to his face, wiggle it back and forth and repeat "Hand shake".

He grabs me by the back of my shirt and drags me out of the apartment. I thought it was funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M3wThr33
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
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Got dadjoked at the local sandwich joint

So a couple guys and I went out to the local sandwich shop the other day, and when I get my sandwich there's some small but noticeable mold on the bread. I go back in to let them know about it and they make me another sandwich. I've got two sandwiches now and figure a bit of mold won't kill me. But it's a lot of food so I give half to my friend.

Then I say, "Hey, I just ate half my sandwich, and I've still got a whole one."

So my friend replies, "Well, I guess you can half your sandwich and eat it, too!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chucatawa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2014
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My new dentist called me back in to make another mold of my teeth.

Needless to say, he made a terrible first impression.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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