I don't know but I'm getting hungry.
she immediately responded, "50 cent"
it was rewarding because i could visibly see her internal groan at dumb dad joke, but then also self-horror that she was so quick to get the joke... win-win-win!!
The sand said, "Shore."
A sandwitch
Intrigued, the man decided to warn the person and said "hey, you have a banana shoved in your ear".
The person replied "what?"
> "You have a banana shoved in your ear!"
> "WHAT??"
> "YOU HAVE A BANANA SHOVED IN YOUR EAR!!"
> "SIR PLEASE SPEAK LOUDER I CAN'T HEAR YOU 'CAUSE I HAVE A BANANA SHOVED IN MY EAR!.
He said the police were expecting a crime wave
Stop making a rakis.
"That's a small font."
He said it was because we weren’t anywhere near the bank.
Having a bit of a discipline issue with my daughter... she'll bring a pile of sand inside and make what she calls her "land". It's sand arranged in a flattish layer, with toy animals and her lego house (Friends^TM , why she no like diggers and helicopters and whatever, why she gotta be so girly??). She doesn't like getting her hand dirty while she's doing it, wears a glove to keep clean, so you'd think she could understand the concept that I don't like the floor getting dirty... but no, she doesn't give a shit.
Had her third birthday party recently, and gave her a Skye (Paw Patrol) plushy, she loves it. Because it's her newest and most favourite toy in the whole world, and because it was for her birthday, we can't confiscate it no matter what.
Very next day, she makes her land again, Skye's there at the side - she's too big to sit in the middle, it would dominate all the plastic dinosaurs and lego Friends people (not the usual mini-figs, they're a bit more anatomically correct, anyway that's not important right now). So I'm all angry and "why you keep doing this", take the glove off her and sweep up the sand. Put her in the time out cage for a bit. Well, we call it the cage, it's just a cupboard under the stairs which is a bit shorter than her so she has to sit there if she doesn't want to bump her head. Throw her in there for one minute per year of age, is the standard procedure.
Anyway, as we close the door she starts singing...
Take my glove
Take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care
I'm still three
You can't take this Skye from me
A grain-fart.
so I crafted a large numeral in the back garden. I chopped, sawed, planed, sanded, and painted that number till it looked amazing. My neighbour looked over the fence and enviously stated “Nice one!”
that's a moray.
So anyways, I dust the grains down from africa
https://preview.redd.it/spig22o65o651.png?width=830&format=png&auto=webp&s=58d660e5243952036705bbb43d4c37ceec0bb61f
.....and that’s when I drew the line.
It got in pailed.
Rough Rough
You better Appa-logize right now or else!
You are such a beach.
Transforming itself into a Chicken Sand Witch
The biologist is so amazed at the marine life that they walk into the ocean never to be seen again.
The physicist is so amazed by fluid dynamics that they walk into the ocean, never to be seen again.
The chemist looks at the ocean, picks up a stick and writes a simple observation in the sand. "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water."
Investors couldn't see the business taking off
I told her, "all you need to do is break a sand 5."
Because they single file to hide their numbers.
Because of all the 'sand which is' there
I am fine.
And is disappointed to only see large piles of sand.
She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.
malnourished
Courtesy of my friend who took more than the average amount of antidepressants
A: Because you can eat the sand which is there.
It would take a while to sink in.
Except in Mexico. There, they only burritos.
It was of great sedimentary value.
Because it lacks potential
I don't know why he got so mad, sand is pretty hard to write on
Rough! Rough! Rough!
