My son said I would never be able to make a beach pun.

Is seashore about that?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Beach
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExoticCow64
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
2 pebbles washes up on the beach. One says to the other, "Are you married?"

Other replies, "No, I'm shingle."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one video call tell to another on the beach?

Can you share the screen

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/summingitup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a rumour going around about two waves racing to the beach. Can you guess which one won?

They Tide!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ISimbaI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Fun day out at the beach

So when I was younger, me and a couple of friends went on a little trip to the beach. We had a lot of fun there swimming around, making a campfire, all that jazz. Some of us wanted to build sandcastles and get em as high as we could so we could pretend we were knights protecting them.

So some kids started running around being annoying and destroying the sand castles and it got to the point where one of my friends got so protective of his castle, he started punching anyone who even got close. You know how kids are, the other ones got closer and were like β€œwe arent even touching it, calm down!” but he wasnt having any of that so he drew a line in the sand and said β€œif you step over this line, i WILL punch you..”

that was the punch line >insert finger guns<

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Truplup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I was on the beach and got hit by a massive wave of cake

It was a tiramisunami

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chubwhump
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach.

I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If you were to accidentally drop your waffle at the beach, it would most likely happen in...

...San Diego.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThroneDiscs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Most folks avoid the beach for dolphin hunting

It’s for legal porpoises

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prollyonthepot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a vengeful Australian spell caster who lives on the beach?

A vege-smite sand witch!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rivethart
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
At the beach, opposite the life guard, a man sleeps on a towel, adjacent an unopened umbrella.

When he wakes up, he's going to be a tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the beach wet?

The sea weed

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AussieJayHi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing. It just waved.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lead_the_leader
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Made it finally to the beach after lockdown and joyously shouted...

Hey ! Long time no sea.

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Jabba the Beach Hut reddit.com/gallery/icnxc4
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saggyleftnut33
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How can you tell Ronald McDonald at a nude beach

He has seasame seed buns

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tommymason52
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you find a blind dude at a nude beach?

It isn't hard.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappLegend
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the beach where the sea was...

It said it wasn’t shore.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlietd76
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Life’s a beach
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_I_D_G_A_F_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I was riding to a beach in this remote part of the district and stopped at this run down petrol pump

A kid was manning the pump and I asked if they take cards He replies with a straight face : No we give it back after swiping

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/regulaslight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Made to the beach finally, after months away, and joyously shouted..

..Hey ! Long time no Sea.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the beach say to the ocean?

Quit giving me all these crabs.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shoedog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the two elephants have to leave the beach?

They only had a pair of trunks.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipperfall
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My son didn't like sharp stones on the seafloor at the beach

He couldn't stand it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatdoginapan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you know that trees long to vacation at the beach?

Because they always bring their trunks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NThruThe0utdoor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
You know where I should put those sea shells I found at the beach?

On the shellf.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My FiancΓ©e was at the store earlier and she texted me saying, β€œShould I buy new beach towels?”

I wrote back, β€œShore.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/srpjr3795
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
As we were getting ready to go to the beach, I reluctantly said to my wife, "I hate to say this honey, but your bikini is kinda tight and revealing." She giggled and said...

"Well then, you'd better wear your own!"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I have three different levels of tan on me. One level is my arms and legs from wearing a shirt and shorts. The next level is from not wearing a shirt at the beach. And the last is under my shorts.

I’m neapoliTAN!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Bored-biker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a donkey get for lunch on Blackpool beach?

Half an hour like everyone else.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spazpekker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
While at the beach, my wife asked me how we can get a sand dollar.

I told her, "all you need to do is break a sand 5."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s got peanut butter, and flies laughing hysterically over the beach?

A sand witch

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the beach?

Thanks for all the sediment.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s tiny and can be found on the beach?

A Microwave.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain_Jorik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day.

She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife asked, β€œHoney, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?”

He hadn’t and said so. Then she said, β€œTomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”

Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walk

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œDue to the rising number of dolphin attacks, we’ve had to outlaw any overnight camping on the beach.”

β€œWe hope the new rule will help, for all in tents and porpoises.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/okaypuck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
We found a dolphin skeleton on the beach, so we ground the bones to make some bread...

It was all-porpoise flour.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you drop your waffle at the beach?

A San Diego

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/genghisKHANNNNN
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The Beach Boys walk into a bar.

"Round?"

"Round".

"Get a round?"

"I'll get a round".

πŸ‘︎ 800
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I just learned that now we have to social-distance at the beach and mark a 6-foot perimeter!

Well, I'm drawing a line in the sand.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TMCBarnes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Life’s a beach
πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quivant
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Son: Can I go to the beach?

Me: Shore

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragon_owns_a_cat
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was arrested at the beach for feeding pot brownies to the seagulls. It was his third such arrest because, as he put it,...

β€œI shall leave no tern unstoned.”

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeroing-in
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a witch at a beach?

A sand witch.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report

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