My buddy's foot was run over. He couldn't afford a prosthetic, so I gave him a bag of chips.
He appreciated the Fritos
There was a point in time where I couldn’t afford to pay my electric bills
Those were darkest days of my life.
Why could the pirate captain afford such a nice ship?
I thought my luck was turning around, and I would finally be able to afford some clothes.
But no, my streak continues.
I couldn’t afford a Civic or an Accord, so I ended up getting a hatchback. I was so mad
Despite inflation, what can everyone still afford?
Soil, it’s always dirt cheap.
100 years ago everybody rode horses around, and only the wealthy could afford cars
Today everybody drives cars, and only the wealthy can afford horses
Oh how the stables have turned
I knew a mathematician who couldn’t afford lunch.
Why couldn’t the man afford a new chimney?
The price was through the roof.
I finally convinced my wife that since we can barely afford one kid, a second one just didn't make any financial sense
Fortunately the first one is now able to get all the toys he wants after we sold child number two.
I couldn’t afford a weight set so I tried to work out using 3 liter bottles of Dr Pepper, but instead of getting stronger it made me feel sad.
It was just soda pressing.
All I can afford to eat are jam sandwiches..
Two pieces of bread jammed together.
What happens when you can't afford to pay your exorcist?
What Does a Pirate Do When Their Crewmate Can't Afford Something?
What kind of doctor can Americans afford?
Hey Alexa, can you check my bank account and see what Apple product I can afford to buy...."
A man drove his expensive car into a tree
and found out how a Mercedes bends.
How did one vegan propose to the other?
"Lettuce get married."
It was a very romainetic ceremony.
They went to a justice of the peas.
He gave her a 24 carrot ring.
The reception couldn't be beet.
Not bad for a low-level celeryman.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill
So I sent him a "get well soon" card
Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.
That way, I always make a grand entrance.
How did Mr & Mrs Otter afford that new house?
Man I'm poor I can't afford crap.
When my aunt Penny died she hadn’t cut her hair in 20 years, when we took her to the crematorium it turns out they charged by weight and we couldn’t afford a receptacle for her ashes. I learned an important lesson that day.
A Penny shaved is a Penny urned.
As i child i was forced to walk the plank
We couldn't afford a dog...
When we were in college, my roommates and I could afford to pay the electric bill for a month.
Those were the darkest days of our lives.
Fin, there’s Nor-way Yucan afford Dubai that Swede;
You still live in a Den, Mark. At least it’s no Germ-In-Knee.
Sorry for the rushed joke. I’m Russian, and I’m scared of comPutin.
I can’t afford Bach and Handel concerts this week.
I cannot afford to own a Tesla
Not only do I have to pay upfront, there’s also a daily charge!
A man and his son go to the optometrist and both have the same prescription but can't afford two sets of glasses.
His solution? "I wear my son's glasses at night..."
I tried suing my dentist…..
But I couldn’t afford my lawyer’s retainer.
I ran out of toilet paper last week and can't afford to buy more till I get paid next week, so I started using the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in......
......... The Times are really Rough!!!
I cannot afford the new PS5 and it's getting me down
No-one knows how to console me.
My dad worked in a pizza shop through college so he could afford to eat something other than ramen.
He was kneading the dough.
I stole one of my wife's puns for this meme...
When driving around and spotting a convertible car, I used to tell my kids ...
"That driver must be poor because they can not afford a roof for their car!"
I knew a mathematician who couldn’t afford lunch.
My friend in the country couldn’t afford his water bill...
So I sent him a ‘Get Well Soon!’ card.
My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...
I've just sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.
My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....
So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.
“Hey Alexa, can you check my bank account and see what Apple product I can afford to buy...."
My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a “get well soon” card.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a "get well soon" card.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
EDIT: HOLY my first award! Thankyou stranger!
My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...
I've sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
