My wife was making gravy for dinner, and she added some corn starch, but it got too thick. To thin it out she added some water, but then it was too thin again. It went back and forth a few times before I said...
Ahh. I get it. It’s a viscous cycle.
One my dad told me a few days ago
Did you know alligators can grow up to 15 feet? But most only have four.
This was from a few years back.
Imade a similar one a few days ago bit i fpund more squirrels
A hockey player collided with another player on the ice and knocked out a few of his teeth.
However it was acci-dental.
I did a few laps around the gym today.
Just read a few facts about frogs
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
For my diorama, I tried to make a few desert elevations...
I really made a mesa things though.
A dad and son drove by a golf course next to a few houses the son asked “what happens if the ball lands in the house”
The dad said “it’s a home-in-one”
He needs a few more lessons
A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...
A few puns make me numb
But math puns make me number
Every day I give a few cents to charity.
I like making small change.
I was having dinner a few minutes ago, and I came to the conclusion that tofu is really overrated.
Took a pretty good picture of the meteor shower a few days ago.
I cricked my neck a few weeks ago and it’s changed my life forever.
I haven’t looked back since
I went to a wedding a few weeks ago for two antennas.
The ceremony was decent, but the reception was amazing!
This just in: 2 men broke into the city bank using nothing more than a few mannequin limbs.
Officials say we are dealing with an armed robbery
It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago.
But now I can look back and laugh.
A few famous Doctors. Others include Dr. House and Dr. Meredith Grey.
The legalize cannabis party had a fair few stoners voting for it this past election, but not enough to gain power
That’s a lot of wasted votes
For the past few days, I wake up to see someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO blocks on my front porch.
I don’t know what to make of it.
I started carrying a gun with me after an attempted robbery a few years ago.
Now my robberies have gotten a lot more successful.
So, my trusty old PS2 died a few days ago.
Rust in peace little buddy.
I have a few jokes about unemployed people..
but unfortunately none of them work.
I own a fake town which is actually a horror theme park and I only let a few people in at a time to keep demand and prices high.
It's called artificial scare-city
Ordered a vacuum a few days back. Good quality, though the product was a little sucky.
https://preview.redd.it/05c4ayjw55m51.png?width=288&format=png&auto=webp&s=40eb4d62a8ab9c00eac11c75f34ac611a41c910d
I know a few jokes in sign language
It’s always good to have a few jokes handy
I told my dad that I was planning to move to the Arctic circle for a few months.
He said, “I don’t like your latitude.”
We ordered some mail-order chickens a few months ago. Today, one of my housemates said it's looking like one of them is turning out to be a rooster.
I'm like, "Well see, we shoulda gotten female-order chickens instead, that's our problem right there. We're lucky the rest didn't turn out to be roosters too!"
This was an honest-to-god real conversation I just had with my housemate earlier tonight. :)
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out...it was a safe purchase.
A few years ago, on my 18th birthday, I lost both of my kidneys...
but it’s all good, because now I have adult knees!
I threw a boomerang a few years ago.
I now live in constant fear.
Mom complained when I asked for a few dollars in quarters to fill up my car’s tires.
Dad looked at me, shrugged and said “Inflation.”
After having a few puppies, my dog tried to make a dad joke about his balls, but
My wife and I recently had a child on accident. We didn't want a child at all as we are rather young and wanted to wait a few years. He was born yesterday at the whopping weight of 8 kilos.
We've made a massive mistake
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
I married a pen a few years ago
It's a mistake I cant erase
Just read a few facts about frogs.
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
I know a few jokes about retired people.....
It was no fun when I sprained my neck in a car accident a few months ago.
But now I can look back and laugh.
A few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is overrated.
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