WISHES Puns

A list of puns related to "WISHES"

Which tree wishes things were more like they used to be?

Pine

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👤︎ u/Stiney86
📅︎ Jan 06 2021
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One of my fathers last wishes was to have his ashes pressed into a record....

It was his vinyl request.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Dec 11 2020
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What did the indecisive blind man say when the genie asked him what his three wishes were?

Ummm... let me see...

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👤︎ u/bhladczuk
📅︎ Oct 03 2020
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A genie grants me 3 wishes. I Ask to be rich.

Genie: what is your 2nd wish rich.

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👤︎ u/im_the_clone
📅︎ Sep 16 2020
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Genie: I will grant you three wishes

Man: I wanna be rich!

Genie: What is your second wish, Rich?

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👤︎ u/eachard
📅︎ Aug 10 2020
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The taylor at the local men's clothing shop kept trying to help me find wedding attire despite my wishes. He finally gave up and said

Suit yourself

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👤︎ u/diceblue
📅︎ Sep 28 2020
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How do you make your wishes come true?

By shooting stars.

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👤︎ u/T1M3Tim
📅︎ Jul 19 2020
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I’ve recently heard a rumor of a magical cow that can grant wishes

They say it’s legendairy.

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👤︎ u/scooby_dyver
📅︎ Jun 16 2020
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I'm pretty sure I just saw a sheep granting wishes alongside a really nice car

I'm not sure if it was a lamborghini

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👤︎ u/timmshady
📅︎ Mar 12 2020
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Genie: I grant you three wishes

Me: I want a world without lawyers

Genie: Done, your three wishes are over

Me: I still have two left!

Genie: Sue me

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👤︎ u/fool_of_atook
📅︎ Sep 12 2019
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When offered three wishes, the man told the genie “I don’t know - maybe some new countertops?”

To which the Genie replied, “Your wish is granite.”

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👤︎ u/tigreye007
📅︎ Jan 19 2020
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A man stumbles upon a lamp and a genie pops out and offers him 3 wishes.

Man: “For my first wish I'd like to be rich."

Genie: “Alright Rich, what's your second wish".

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👤︎ u/itsVinay
📅︎ Sep 04 2018
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Genie: You have three wishes. Me: Nice! I wish for pie.

Genie: Fine. You can have 3.14 wishes.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Nov 01 2018
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What's a mystical car that can grant you three wishes?

A lambor-genie

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👤︎ u/Fitzz7
📅︎ Nov 17 2019
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well wishes
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👤︎ u/itsmejoe1212
📅︎ Apr 21 2019
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A respiratory therapist is on his death bed and his wife asks him what his final wishes were...

He replies, "I want to be cremated, there will be no coffin at my funeral"

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👤︎ u/kevingcp
📅︎ Jun 27 2019
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A Indian guy in a desert had 2 wishes

He asked for water and to be white, he turned into a toilet

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👤︎ u/NachoSeventeen
📅︎ Jun 16 2019
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Henry rubs a magical lamp, a Genie pops out and grants him 3 wishes

Genie: What will your wish be?

Henry: I want to be rich

Genie: Of course, your wish is granted. What will you second wish be?

Rich: I want a lot of money...

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👤︎ u/baino39
📅︎ Aug 20 2018
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I checked myself out of the hospital against my doctor's wishes.

AMA!

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👤︎ u/Perrin42
📅︎ Jul 02 2019
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When I die, I have two wishes. 1) Scatter My remains on my ex’s front lawn.
  1. Also, I don’t want to be cremated.
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Aug 31 2018
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Advice: best Christmas wishes a dad can give.

"Merry Christmas. I hope you get exactly what you deserve."

I promise, this never fails to raise eyebrows, but ultimately it's a nice Christmas wish :)

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👤︎ u/NGEddie
📅︎ Dec 14 2018
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What’s it called when a sapling goes against his father’s wishes?

Treeson!

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👤︎ u/garboooge
📅︎ Apr 14 2019
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What do you call a genie who can only grant cloth-related wishes?

A wishing machine.

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👤︎ u/adgrig
📅︎ Apr 22 2019
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