Which tree wishes things were more like they used to be?

Pine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stiney86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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One of my fathers last wishes was to have his ashes pressed into a record....

It was his vinyl request.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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What did the indecisive blind man say when the genie asked him what his three wishes were?

Ummm... let me see...

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bhladczuk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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A genie grants me 3 wishes. I Ask to be rich.

Genie: what is your 2nd wish rich.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/im_the_clone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Genie: I will grant you three wishes

Man: I wanna be rich!

Genie: What is your second wish, Rich?

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eachard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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The taylor at the local men's clothing shop kept trying to help me find wedding attire despite my wishes. He finally gave up and said

Suit yourself

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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How do you make your wishes come true?

By shooting stars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T1M3Tim
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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I’ve recently heard a rumor of a magical cow that can grant wishes

They say it’s legendairy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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I'm pretty sure I just saw a sheep granting wishes alongside a really nice car

I'm not sure if it was a lamborghini

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmshady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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Genie: I grant you three wishes

Me: I want a world without lawyers

Genie: Done, your three wishes are over

Me: I still have two left!

Genie: Sue me

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fool_of_atook
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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When offered three wishes, the man told the genie β€œI don’t know - maybe some new countertops?”

To which the Genie replied, β€œYour wish is granite.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tigreye007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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A man stumbles upon a lamp and a genie pops out and offers him 3 wishes.

Man: β€œFor my first wish I'd like to be rich."

Genie: β€œAlright Rich, what's your second wish".

πŸ‘︎ 204
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsVinay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Genie: You have three wishes. Me: Nice! I wish for pie.

Genie: Fine. You can have 3.14 wishes.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
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What's a mystical car that can grant you three wishes?

A lambor-genie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fitzz7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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well wishes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsmejoe1212
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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A respiratory therapist is on his death bed and his wife asks him what his final wishes were...

He replies, "I want to be cremated, there will be no coffin at my funeral"

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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A Indian guy in a desert had 2 wishes

He asked for water and to be white, he turned into a toilet

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NachoSeventeen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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Henry rubs a magical lamp, a Genie pops out and grants him 3 wishes

Genie: What will your wish be?

Henry: I want to be rich

Genie: Of course, your wish is granted. What will you second wish be?

Rich: I want a lot of money...

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baino39
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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I checked myself out of the hospital against my doctor's wishes.

AMA!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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When I die, I have two wishes. 1) Scatter My remains on my ex’s front lawn.
  1. Also, I don’t want to be cremated.
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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Advice: best Christmas wishes a dad can give.

"Merry Christmas. I hope you get exactly what you deserve."

I promise, this never fails to raise eyebrows, but ultimately it's a nice Christmas wish :)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NGEddie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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What’s it called when a sapling goes against his father’s wishes?

Treeson!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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What do you call a genie who can only grant cloth-related wishes?

A wishing machine.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adgrig
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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