He should have dated Miss Universe
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIronPumpkin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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I hope that the universe keeps on expanding forever so all the heat runs out some day. It means that eventually things are gonna be 0 K
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B_Baerbel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bjlind718
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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In an alternate universe, Hercules was a girl.

Her name was Himcules

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a neon sheep in the Star Wars universe?

A day-glo baa.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Tae Kwon Donkey (The Ass that kicks back) And Crab Maga (The Krav Maga crab that doesn’t just talk crab, he backs it up). Figured this community of punsters would appreciate the universe we are creating on Patreon. reddit.com/gallery/lgzbtq
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KicksandStrings
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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The universe implodes

No matter.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Tell a man there are three hundred billion stars in the universe, and he believes you.

Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he has to touch it to be sure.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What is capital city of universe

University

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeriousDirt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I called my wife 'Miss Universe' last night.

"Is it because I'm so beautiful?" she asked

"NO, It's because you're constantly expanding."

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Why did the valet hate working in an alternate universe?

Because it was all parallel parking!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GravyxNips
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Have you ever wondered why the winner of all the Miss Universe contest...

...always came from Earth ?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Mart Mc Fly traveling into the Star Wars universe be like,

Man, De Lorain

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peterd3d
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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After watching Hubie Halloween I realized that every Adam Sandler movie takes place in the same universe.

Unfortunately, it's the one we live in.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/csteelatgburg
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a new girlfriend named Ursula. She’s my whole universe...

She’s my univ-ursula πŸͺβœ¨

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Why can't Mike Tyson live in the Star Wars universe?

Because it's inhothpitable.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Was fixing the universe hard for the Hulk?

No. It was a snap.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Orions belt does not have the best reviews in the universe...

...cause it only has a three star rating!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Anyone out there worried about the Universe ever imploding..?

...no matter

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been to a parallel universe where oranges don’t exist, but my friends won’t believe me.

I guess they think it’s pulp fiction.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddyflextape
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
In an alternate universe, instead of asking for whatever he touches to be gold, Midas just asked for his jokes to be made extremely hilarious.

Everything was comedy gold.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
In an alternate universe, there’s probably a sentient kitchen wash basin knocking at your front door. Let that sink in,
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Betamax-86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The sound of him throwing his phone will be hear throughout the universe
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IDoNotHaveACunt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My moment finally came in the dad joke universe, and my teenage son kinda giggled!

My son and I were in Lids picking out a nice hat for a Christmas present. We wanted to see one on the top rack so the employee grabbed her little hook tool to grab it. Well, she dropped it on the floor... I told my son "I think we can get it for dirty percent off!" My son smirked and laughed just barely but started saying no dad, just no. I was pretty proud of myself!

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmuckRunner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Taking over the universe with cloth
πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is an error the biggest thing in the universe?

Because even in space there's no room for error.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeesTurtle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What did thanos want to happen to the universe?

[Deleted]

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zapyre
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Where can you find the greatest jokes in the entire /r/DadJokes universe?

The best jokes are always in the comets…

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The universe is amazing
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mounis11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the universe say when it woke up?

Up and atom!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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If you are ever feeling like you don’t know your place in the universe, just remember: You and the universe came from the same thing

A Big Bang

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brentobot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Bee one with the universe, colored pencils, 6x6"
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lucky_Gamer3495
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The only things that matter in this universe

Are solids, liquids, gasses, and plasma.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
In the star wars universe (sorry if repost) imgur.com/xv62AJp
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danihendrix
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2013
🚨︎ report
The oldest scrolls in the universe
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Owenn04
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Talking about the depth of the universe

We were explaining the word depth and how it relates to the word of deep.

Kid can't say the word depth. So he said:"the entire univuse is pretty Def right dad?!"

I chimed in immediately: "I'm sure it is kiddo universe due to the too few ears in it."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackbeflippen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Midget fashion is popular in β€˜Apparel-Elf Universe’.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe

but if you remove it, you get gravy.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Gravity, one of the most basic forces in the Universe. But then again, if you remove it...

You still have Gravy

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Gravity's one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Gravity is one of the most essential forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy.

πŸ‘︎ 315
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Gravity's one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report

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