At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. There is no Time.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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If you don't think The Big Bang Theory is funny, make sure to buy the dvd and watch the extras.

Everyone knows the real jokes are always in the commentary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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"The Big Bang Theory" is getting a Facebook-based game!

It's developed by Zynga.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jiguryo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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What came before the big bang?

The big foreplay

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaeqPiegDeivys
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2014
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Have you heard of atheism?

It’s a non-prophet organization

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chicken-littler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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An alternative... was that A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds.

This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.

Joke by Terry Pratchett, β€˜The Colour of Magic’, Prologue.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WatashiStickKid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I couldn't believe it when my wife asked me if I wanted to try Yoda classes.

I was really confused when I showed up to the first class and they were all stretching.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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I was in a really bad mood earlier because my wife accused me of always trying to turn everything in to a joke. After hours of awkward silence, she finally gave in and asked, "What's the matter!?"

I replied, "It's the basic structural component of the universe..."

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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If you are ever feeling like you don’t know your place in the universe, just remember: You and the universe came from the same thing

A Big Bang

πŸ‘︎ 127
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brentobot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Γ‰clair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut

Mignons

Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe

Saladin

Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

LΓ©mon: The Professional

Ava-Tartare

Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat

Madagascargot

The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con GruyΓ©re

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood

Papillonion

Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kat_fogg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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The Islamic State is hosting a music festival in Iraq.

They're calling it Allahpalooza some of the headliners include, The Suicide Girls, Bombye West, and The Big Bang Theory.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theprofiteer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2016
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Fathers Day dad joke

In Australia Fathers Day is on the 1st of September. It was a really nice day for Fathers Day where I live, the weather was perfect so this afternoon we were sitting outside in the sun in our backyard which faces a river. A boat went past and we could hear a big dinging noise going on and on, like something metal tied to a cord was flapping around in the wind and banging something else metal.

Dad pipes up, "God, if I was that guy in the boat and had to listen to that every time I took it out I'd go crazy! I'd probably even keel over!"

Happy Fathers day Dad :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hodgkinsonable
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2013
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My Dad was in his cosmology class

his professor was blowing up a balloon to demonstrate the expansion of space. After inflating it on the last blow it burst. He asked if that was the "Big Bang".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisfinne
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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Went for a burger yesterday...

And a family was sat next to us, little boy banged his head on the table and was crying, his mum was comforting him and at the same moment the waiter came with the bill. Dad looked at the bill and then to his son and said 'I know it's a big bill but no need to cry about it'... Classic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smiffskid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2014
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No Time.”

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat exactly happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 379
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
When the physics lecture ended, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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After the lecture was over, I asked my physics professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
At the end of the class, I asked my physics professor, β€œWould you tell me what happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry I can’t. There’s no Time.”

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report

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