You know, I had such a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tyres and roll me down the hill.
π︎ 183
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
Why arenβt depressed people worried about flat tyres?
They are always carrying despair.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Phoned my wife and said, "Unbelievable...on the way to the bowling alley my tyre went flat."
"Have you got a spare?" she questioned.
"Honey," I sighed, "I'm not at the bowling alley yet."
π︎ 54
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
I used to work at a square tyre factory...
It was a real bumpy ride.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 20 2019
Did you see the documentary about car tyres?
It was a bit flat at the beggining, but it got wheely interesting.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
Today, I saw a homeless man living in a tyre, so I punctured it
He's now living in a flat
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 18 2019
What do you call a person who trades rubber tyres for a living?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 21 2019
I did a good deed today. I saw a homeless man living in a tyre and I punctured it...
How is that a good deed you ask?
Well now he lives in a flat!
π︎ 26
π
︎ Apr 22 2019
One car Tyre speaking to another:
Tyre 1: How you feeling about the big trip tomorrow?
Tyre 2: I'm pumped.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 03 2018
I had to blow up my the tyres on my car the other day...
I came home afterwards "Done it?" he said.
Me - "Yeah, bit of a piss take though, cost me 50p just for some air."
"Well, that's inflation for you."
Good one, Dad.
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π
︎ Sep 17 2013
Son, I know you don't always love your job, but just be glad you are not in the tyre business.
.. you would never be able to retire.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 16 2018
Flat tyre
Dad just cracked this one out (for the millionth time) so I thought I would share the wealth!
Walking past a car I point out it has a flat tyre. Dad just turns and says "It's alright, it's only flat at the bottom."
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 30 2014
What are Spock's tyres made out of?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 07 2014
I got tired trying to think of a good posting title for this one.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
When you roll in from a night out but you're tyred so you just sit down in the garden slumped against the wall
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 19 2020
Why did the bicycle go to sleep ?
π︎ 39
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars
Police are working tirelessly to catch him
π︎ 8k
π
︎ May 07 2020
Sometimes I get tyred of normal jokes and make puns instead. They are quick, easy, and don't put you under pressure. Sometimes, they can be very flat. They can be as light as air, or as heavy as steel. All in all, puns really punp me up!
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 14 2019
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
π︎ 143
π
︎ Apr 10 2016
Chase after a car you get exhausted
Run in front of a car you get tyred
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 08 2020
From r/memes, thought it belonged here
π︎ 588
π
︎ Jun 07 2019
Bicycle jokes won't impress you
But a unicycle one wheel.
π︎ 229
π
︎ Jun 11 2018
Why can't a cycle stand on it's own?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 09 2019
Why couldn't the motorcycle stay up until midnight?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 26 2018
I wanted to go for a ride early morning.
But my bike didn't feel like it. It was two tyred.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Nov 25 2017
What happened to the man who was chased by a car?
He Got Tyred.
PART 2:
Q) What happened to the man who chased a car?
A) He got exhausted
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 03 2018
Why did the truck's wheels go flat?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 04 2018
Why was the bike lying down on the floor?
Because it was two-tyred.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 15 2017
I must have just turned into a bike...
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 19 2015
Why was the muffler shop closed...? They were exhausted
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 10 2015
My dad works at a petrol station
They have air pumps for you to fill up your tyres at the station. Dad works behind the counter.
Customer: "Excuse me, how much is the air?"
Dad looks shocked and covers up his hair with his hands.
Dad: "You're not having any!"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 08 2014
I had a happy childhood, my dad used to put me in a tyre and roll me down the hill...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 24 2019
I saw a homeless man living in a tyre, so I punctured it
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 27 2019
I had a happy childhood. My dad would put me inside a tyre and then roll me down a hill.
π︎ 98
π
︎ Aug 17 2016
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tyred.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 22 2018
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