Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
Why do scientists chew gum all the time?
Because they like ex-spearmints.
I just found an old pack of gum in my car.
Itβs in mint condition.
I'm starting a company of recycling chewing gum,
I just need some help to get it off the ground
What do you call a train carrying gum?
Today I learned that the band Nirvana sold its own brand of gum.
It was called Smells Like Green Spearmint.
My mom started a factory that produces chewing gum flavoring. She got rich.
Did you hear about the piece of chewing gum that was sold to collectors?
My 4th grade teacher was a bubble gum Nazi
Some teachers invented a brand of non-adhesive chewing gum.
Unfortunately, it didn't stick around.
I told my kids they can have as much of my gum as they want.
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chickens foot
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︎ Nov 23 2019
For Sale: Slightly Used Chewing Gum
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︎ Nov 20 2019
What did the gum trees say after I pruned them?
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︎ Nov 30 2019
What kind of gum does a scientist chew?
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︎ Sep 12 2019
I dont like gum
It's too much of a commit-mint
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︎ May 03 2019
What is a bearded martial arts instructor's favorite bubble gum?
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︎ Aug 06 2019
I got fired from shoveling pig shit for chewing bubble gum at work...
It left a bad taste in my mouth.
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︎ Jul 22 2019
Why did the train love bubble gum?
Cause it was a chew chew.
I got a daughter otw, and the gf got me a book of dad jokes, more to come!
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︎ Jun 15 2019
I quit smoking and I'm using gum as an alternative.
It sure is hard to keep lit though.
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︎ Jul 18 2019
Care for some gum? I have extra.
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︎ Oct 11 2018
What dinosaur had the healthiest teeth and gums?
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︎ Jun 20 2019
What's a dogs favorite flavor of gum?
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︎ Apr 13 2019
I had a 3rd grade teacher who was a real gum nazi
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︎ Dec 22 2018
My two brothers were fighting over a piece of gum
So I needed to keep the piece.
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︎ May 17 2019
What's the difference between a thief that's struggling with depression, and some gum trees getting chopped down by a cat with a chainsaw?
One's a felon feeling glum, and the other is a feline felling glum
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︎ Feb 21 2019
What do you call a train made of chewing gum?
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︎ Nov 23 2018
Directed by James Gums
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︎ Aug 27 2018
What do you call a cowboy with splinters in his gums?
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︎ Dec 31 2018
"Are you chewing gum?" my teacher asked me
I said, "Do I look like chewing gum to you?"
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︎ Oct 03 2018
What is a bodybuilder's favorite flavor of gum?
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︎ Oct 05 2018
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it got stuck on the chickenβs foot.
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︎ Oct 19 2018
Iβve got a large collection of chewing gum
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︎ Jun 21 2018
An astronaut stepped in gum on the moon
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︎ Apr 22 2016
My friend said heβd pay me back later with gum.
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︎ Mar 10 2018
I just bought a 30 year old pack of chewing gum off eBay
You'd think it'd be gone off by now, but it's in mint condition
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︎ Jan 05 2017
Excel gum's slogan "Excelerate your breath" a pun, that took me over 30 years.
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︎ Jan 03 2018
What kind of gum does Jesus chew?
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︎ May 18 2018
What is an astronomerβs favorite type of gum?
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︎ Mar 31 2018
My 4 year old: "Daddy, are you chewing gum?"
"Of course not, sweetie, I'm a human being."
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︎ Jul 26 2015
What day should you chew gum?
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︎ Aug 11 2017
My father loves cinnamon chewing gum
But whenever he finishes a piece he just spits it on the ground. I'm always embarrassed whenever he does this in public and people stare.
It's a dad-gum shame
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︎ Jun 17 2017
What do you do when you drop your gum in the toilet?
You pick it up and shake the crap out of it
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︎ Aug 24 2017
I offered my dad a stick of gum...
Dad: Sure! If you have extra
Me: Well no, I've got Trident
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︎ Oct 01 2017
What would someone from Boston call a big pile of boxes of chewing gum?
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︎ Aug 27 2016
My wife said our new toothpaste is whitening her teeth but causing her gums to recede...
I told her, "Ya win some, ya lose gums!".
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︎ Sep 13 2017
I buy packs of gum just for this joke...
Whenever I buy beer I always pick up a pack of gum and then set both on the counter. When the cashier asks me for an ID I respond, "You have to be 21 to buy gum?"
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︎ Sep 08 2015
gum-E-bear (x-post /r/mildlyinteresting)
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︎ Oct 17 2013
For Sale: Used Chewing Gum
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︎ Apr 22 2019
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