Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?

He got stuck in Orbit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
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Why do scientists chew gum all the time?

Because they like ex-spearmints.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/musical-gamer6
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
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I just found an old pack of gum in my car.

It’s in mint condition.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a company of recycling chewing gum,

I just need some help to get it off the ground

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What do you call a train carrying gum?

A chew-chew train

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metalhead8182005
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
Today I learned that the band Nirvana sold its own brand of gum.

It was called Smells Like Green Spearmint.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
My mom started a factory that produces chewing gum flavoring. She got rich.

She made a mint.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the piece of chewing gum that was sold to collectors?

It was in mint condition

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skatefishjam69420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
My 4th grade teacher was a bubble gum Nazi

She hated the chews

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
Some teachers invented a brand of non-adhesive chewing gum.

Unfortunately, it didn't stick around.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zatosu_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
I told my kids they can have as much of my gum as they want.

I have plenty of Extra.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/212Funny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chickens foot

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/svj1983xx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
For Sale: Slightly Used Chewing Gum

Near Mint Condition!!!

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the gum trees say after I pruned them?

Eu-clipped-us!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaryuSaryu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of gum does a scientist chew?

His spearmint

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rabbitstew45
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I dont like gum

It's too much of a commit-mint

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jewcityyallfeny
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a bearded martial arts instructor's favorite bubble gum?

Kung Fu Man Chew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rideintips
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from shoveling pig shit for chewing bubble gum at work...

It left a bad taste in my mouth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SixPhalaris
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the train love bubble gum?

Cause it was a chew chew.

I got a daughter otw, and the gf got me a book of dad jokes, more to come!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pepperelijah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I quit smoking and I'm using gum as an alternative.

It sure is hard to keep lit though.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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Care for some gum? I have extra.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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What dinosaur had the healthiest teeth and gums?

The flosso-raptor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucas1607
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a dogs favorite flavor of gum?

Puppermint.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CharlieKilz_II
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a 3rd grade teacher who was a real gum nazi

She hated the chews

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My two brothers were fighting over a piece of gum

So I needed to keep the piece.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fihk_553
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a thief that's struggling with depression, and some gum trees getting chopped down by a cat with a chainsaw?

One's a felon feeling glum, and the other is a feline felling glum

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepBlueCheese
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a train made of chewing gum?

A chew chew train.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwiftHadoken
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Directed by James Gums
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxQU1K5C0P3RxX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cowboy with splinters in his gums?

Clint Eatswood.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
"Are you chewing gum?" my teacher asked me

I said, "Do I look like chewing gum to you?"

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a bodybuilder's favorite flavor of gum?

Supplemint!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ccolover
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Because it got stuck on the chicken’s foot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a large collection of chewing gum

All mint in box

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
🚨︎ report
An astronaut stepped in gum on the moon

He's stuck in orbit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/murph1173
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2016
🚨︎ report
My friend said he’d pay me back later with gum.

I took it in Stride.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidtheday
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I just bought a 30 year old pack of chewing gum off eBay

You'd think it'd be gone off by now, but it's in mint condition

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/platinum95
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Excel gum's slogan "Excelerate your breath" a pun, that took me over 30 years.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ihavebadreddit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What kind of gum does Jesus chew?

Holy Spearmint.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HXCg4m3r
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What is an astronomer’s favorite type of gum?

Hubble gum.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebower42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
🚨︎ report
My 4 year old: "Daddy, are you chewing gum?"

"Of course not, sweetie, I'm a human being."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotActuallyMyName
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2015
🚨︎ report
What day should you chew gum?

Chewsday.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/henburst
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2017
🚨︎ report
My father loves cinnamon chewing gum

But whenever he finishes a piece he just spits it on the ground. I'm always embarrassed whenever he does this in public and people stare.

It's a dad-gum shame

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/throwaway40k22
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you drop your gum in the toilet?

You pick it up and shake the crap out of it

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xplicit_kaos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
🚨︎ report
I offered my dad a stick of gum...

Dad: Sure! If you have extra

Me: Well no, I've got Trident

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
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What would someone from Boston call a big pile of boxes of chewing gum?

A mass o'chew sets.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
🚨︎ report
My wife said our new toothpaste is whitening her teeth but causing her gums to recede...

I told her, "Ya win some, ya lose gums!".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denali_jones
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2017
🚨︎ report
I buy packs of gum just for this joke...

Whenever I buy beer I always pick up a pack of gum and then set both on the counter. When the cashier asks me for an ID I respond, "You have to be 21 to buy gum?"

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dherbert510
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2015
🚨︎ report
gum-E-bear (x-post /r/mildlyinteresting)
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SolidMcLovin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
🚨︎ report
For Sale: Used Chewing Gum

Near mint condition

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/123woooohhaaa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report

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