Went camping with a time traveler but they were silent the whole time...

...I think they prefer speaking in future tents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/humanbeingahuman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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I'm thinking of entering a talent show. I have two ideas for my act. Either a Blues Traveler cover band, or an impression of Richard Nixon.

I'm hoping to win, by Hook or by Crook.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epitomizer1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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The bartender says, "we don't serve time travelers here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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What is a time travelers favorite ice cream?

Ripple.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Two travelers are lost in the woods when they come across a man lying in their path.
         One says, β€œWe’re saved! We can ask him for directions!” His friend, however, had a somber expression on his face.
          β€œDoesn’t something seem off to you about this man?” he replies, gesturing to the figure lying prostrate on the road before them.
          β€œWhat do you mean?” said the first, confusion splayed across his features.
          β€œI mean we can’t trust a thing he says. He’s a pathological lier.”
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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I'm a time traveler, just arrived from 1990

It took me thirty years to get here.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapstickWentHome
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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How far back in time did the hungry time traveler go?

He went back four seconds

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danwright32
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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Did you hear about the traveler who sued the airline over his missing luggage?

He lost his case

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djkp7211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips...

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2017
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I'M A TIME TRAVELER

I travel one second in time every second

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salzak96
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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If you pick up a road traveler with an instruction manual for his Samsung phone...

...isn't that book the hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy?

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rock_fact
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Procrastinators Unite Tommorrow, Dyslexics Untie Today, Time Travelers...

Unite Yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sinsculpt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2017
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The bartender says "Sorry we don't serve time travelers"

Two time travelers walk into a bar

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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The bartender says, β€œwe don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AinSpaceXXX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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Why was the time traveler never on time?

Because he travels in time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/troy_lc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Sorry sir, we don't serve time travelers here

A time traveler walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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The bartender says, β€œWe don’t serve time travelers here.”

Two men from the future walk into a bar

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report
The barkeep says, β€œSorry, we don’t serve time-travelers here”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 544
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RaptorDesign
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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The bartender says, "We don't serve time travelers here."

A time traveler walks inside a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElexCube
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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The bar tender says, "We don't serve time travelers here."

Two time travelers walk into a bar and realize, "We're in a timeloop."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heliattackpe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2018
🚨︎ report

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