What do you call 2 birds stuck together?
When 2 things just work together perfectly they're a
What do you call crows that stick close together?
Ancient South American owls always worked together secretly.
I attached all my watches together, to make a belt
My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer!"
What do you call a family that smokes weed together?
I'm trying to get better at making jokes from blending words together, but all my attempts turn out bad
Despite all my effort, I can't produce more than a poormansteau at best
I'm putting together a book of tried and true recipes, none of which will include thyme as an ingredient.
>!I've decided the title is going to be 'Thymeless Classics'!<.
The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week
Well it’s not a law it’s a mandate
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day.
And the box said 2-4 years.
My 2 pet birds got stuck together, so I took them to the vets to see what they could do.
Apparently, he couldn't do anything, because it was just....
Toucan-fusing.
After 12 years together, I just found out my wife hates jokes about perforated paper.
She thinks they're tearable.
How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each other’s jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?
Pre- means before. Post- means after. To use both prefixes together,
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.
Hershey’s and Ikea have joined together to sell a chocolate pet.
Just picked up a Kït Kaát. Now to put it together...
What do you call two Milk Duds fused together?
Last night I accidentally superglued my thumb and forefinger together...
But don’t worry...it will be ok. 👌🏻
Joe Biden and Kamala Harris go out for a morning run together
Kamala finishes in just under twelve minutes and Joe is already waiting for her at the finish line.
"How'd you do?" she asks him.
"I finished in 10 minutes and 46 seconds. That's got to be a new record among Presidents, right?"
"No" Kamala replies. "Bush did 9:11".
What causes all the super-yachts to squeeze together in the same tourist spots?
What do you get when you cross a bear and a mountain lion together?
I got a bunch of crows together and tried to teach them how to sing
But it just resulted in a cacawphony
A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
A group of ant's working together is called
The cast from Pulp Fiction tested positive with Covid after going camping together:
Lancelot: Men, this is a project where we all need to work together.
Arthur: Unite?
Lancelot: Yes I am.
I know why beer and frog legs go together so well!
What kind of glue can you use to hold ice blocks together?
Can you believe that they are still together after all of the crap they have been through?
My co-workers and I would suffer from wrist pain when we would drive through a mountain on our way to work together
We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
I wish I was an expert at tying ropes together
Why do EMTs travel together?
Because they're pair-o-medics.
I spent a solid month stitching together old wristwatches to make a belt
It was a waist of time...
Christopher Nolan, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey decide to make a movie together
Nolan says he will direct.
DiCaprio says he will act.
And McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
My friend started a company a few years ago that binds quantities of material together...
If I ever run a hotel, the free breakfast would be served from 7 tables all pushed together in the middle of the room.
It would be a Pangea breakfast
The chances of seeing two together is quite remote.
Pet owner: "Vet , my birds are stuck together."
Vet: "I'm sorry, I don't understand. It's toucan fusing."
I don’t mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
Proud!! I just put a puzzle together, it only took 2 days.
What do you call birds that stick together?
Dad: I just put a puzzle together
Dad: I just put a puzzle together. It only took one day. Box says 2 to 4 years
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