I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
It’s hard to believe that it has been more than 100 years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.
It seems like only yesterday.
What’s a more concrete term for butt crack?
What’s the more important race, a 5k or a mile?
The 5k because a mile race doesn’t meter.
My buddy used to paint these beautiful beach scapes when he lived on the coast, but since he’s moved away, he won’t paint any more.
I guess he’s now an ex-cape-artist...
Did you know Hannibal Lecter has a brother who’s even more evil and sadistic?
His name is Bilka... Bilka Lecter.
It’s been more than 15 years since the show was over, but people are still making ‘Friends’ references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.”
I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
What’s up with ghosts haunting people? Aren’t there more interesting things to do in the afterlife? [OC]
What family members are most likely to spoil the s’more children?
I want to make s'mores, but I'm out of graham crackers...
Good thing I have Instagram
My mother’s leg was amputated 2 years ago. I wrote this punderful post to make her smile. It was more than successful and also impressed her doctor.
What’s more expensive, a ladder or a diamond?
He’s feline a lot more comfortable.
“Nation’s Geologists demand more money for Marijuana research” I guess those geologists are a bunch of Stoners.
A pyrotechnician was asked how to make s'mores
What do you call an onion’s more fun cousin?
More U.S. Presidents were born in Virginia than any other state.
I guess you could say it's a Prez dispenser.
What’s the best place to learn more about candles?
It’s official, scientists have proven that more birthday celebrations is officially linked to a longer life span
There’s a reason I don’t speak with the Taliban any more.
My wife said that I should start paying more attention to what’s going on around me.
My daughter is 14 and dating. Her boyfriend’s name is Braden, I think..so I just use any B name that comes to mind to annoy her. Braden, Brody, Bradley, Brandon, Bruce, Bryce, etc. Looking for more suggestions! I also talk gangster to her all the time to get her going. Being a ‘Dad Joke’ Dad is fun!
A report just came out that Peyton Manning’s forehead has grown even more since he retired from the NFL
What’s more amazing than a talking dog?
I don’t know why the Hulk doesn’t have more bandages. He’s essentially a giant bruce.
Last night I had The Killers over for s’mores and hot cocoa. We all woke up this morning sick with hangovers
I looked at them and said “how did it end up like this? It was only Swiss-miss.”
A hip replacement is when something hip gets replaced by something else that’s more hip.
What is your best joke involving s'mores?
We are cooking them tonight and I need some ammunition
S'mores
I came home and made breakfast for my dad and sister. I tried a new egg recipe that I found. I asked them how they like it and he said, "They taste like s'mores." My sister and I looked at him funny and he said, "Like I want some more of them!"
Every time we ask my uncle if he wants a S'more...
"How can I have 'S'MORE' if I haven't had any yet?" then he breaks into this fake laugh that sounds like a higher pitched Santa "ho hoo hoo ho" and we are all stuck shaking our heads and (depending on alcohol levels) laughing our butts off.
Someone at the party didn't know what a s'more was.
It's the opposite of a s'less.
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.
It seems like just yesterday.
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
I can’t believe it’s been more than a hundred years since Einstein proposed his Theory of Relativity.
It feels like only yesterday.
I can’t believe it’s been more than a hundred years since Einstein proposed his Theory of Relativity.
It feels like it was only yesterday.
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