Why was the snowman rooting around in a bag of carrots?
π︎ 98
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Next time youβre feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
π︎ 18
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
19 and 20 fought yesterday. I was rooting for 19, but alas...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
Im rooting for you!
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Mar 17 2019
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 19 2020
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 08 2019
My dad and I were watching basketball the other day when his dog (Sophie) hopped up onto the couch beside him. He turned to her and said, "Who are you rooting for Sophie? The underDOG??!!!"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 17 2018
My girlfriend is a square root of -100
Perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
What is the square root of a cat?
π︎ 56
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
Square root (credit to u/fatfatlama)
π︎ 106
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
Square root
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
Research paper: Dad Jokes and the Deep Roots of Fatherly Teasing
A Danish scientist has delved into the roots of silly, fatherly, humour and come up with a possible explanation
https://psyarxiv.com/r9mhc/
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
Cooking
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
Why did the statistician hesitate to apply the square root transformation to the data on annual hate crimes?
She didn't want bigotry to be normalized.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
I ordered a beer and the bartender said "Sorry, I only have root beer."
So I had him put it in a square glass.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
What do you call a tyrannical root vegetable
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
How do you make a root beer float?
Give him a lifejacket!
From my 7 yr old.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
If humans were trees, how deep would the roots be ?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
What does the square root of 2 like to describe something awesome as?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
I poured root beer in a square glass, now I have only beer
π︎ 90
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
My friend asked if I knew about growing root vegetables.
I told him I just know of a neighbor who grows them. I havenβt dug deeper.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
So I've lost a bag of cruciferous root vegetables...
...but it's okay, I'm sure they'll turnip somewhere.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
A square-root
π︎ 88
π
︎ May 11 2020
If your book is made of root vegetables...
Youβre doing a taro reading!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
My lumberjack friend told me that he'd cut down a total of 13,207 trees.
When I asked how he managed to keep count,
He replied, "I keep a log"
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
Did you guys hear Ozzy Osbourne drank root beer in space?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
Why donβt trees use the train?
They can never find a root.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 09 2021
What's the only root veggie that comes with a warning?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
I still remember the moment when my math professor told us what the square root of -1 was.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jun 25 2020
I was showing off my hibiscus plants to my neighbor, he says the roots are exposed, and I should get more dirt on them.
So I found out they were both having affairs, and stealing from their company's fundraisers!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
Square root
π︎ 25
π
︎ Apr 19 2020
Square root? Or cube root?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 28 2020
Why can't athiests use exponents?
Because they don't believe in a higher power.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
I finally realized why trees donβt have teeth.
Turns out, theyβre all bark and no bite.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
I know it's bad but leaf me alone... you're the root of all my problems.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Sep 06 2018
I reported my root garden missing to the police.
They told me theyβd see what would turnip. Then they told me it wasnβt their beet. I donβt think they carrot all!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 07 2020
Finally found the square root
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Dec 28 2017
Did you guys hear about the Buddhist monk who refused anesthesia during his root canal?
Apparently he wanted to transcend dental medication.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
I put my root beer in a square glass
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
I put my root beer in a square glass
π︎ 39
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
If I poured root beer into a square glass,
π︎ 893
π
︎ Mar 29 2020
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
A perfect 10 but purely imaginary.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
My girlfriend is the square root of - 100
She's a perfect 10, but completely imaginary
π︎ 40
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
My girlfriend is like square root -100
A straight 10 but imaginary too
π︎ 41
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
I poured root beer into a square glass
π︎ 39
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
π︎ 73
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
I pour my root beer into a square cup.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Oct 03 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
