rock and roll puns are so lit.
What's the difference between a diploma and a roll of wallpaper?
When someone hands you a roll of wallpaper, you know you have a job ahead of you.
What do you call a load of sheep rolling down a hill?
What do you call a flock of sheep rolling down a hill?
A lamb-slide
(Probably the best one I heard from a cracker (maybe called a "bon-bon" in other places) this Christmas season)
My Latina wife used to seductively roll her r’s when speaking Spanish to me. But now that I’m into telling dad jokes she doesn’t do that anymore.
These days she just rolls her eyes.
From my 3 year old. What’s it called when a bunch of apples roll down a hill?
What did the roll of sushi say to the bee?
I found a recipe from Morocco for homemade dinner rolls. It called for fresh thyme but mine was outdated. I used it anyway.
You know, as I reminisce, I really like that old thyme Moroccan roll.
My childhood was pretty happy. On summer nights Dad would roll us down the hill in tires
how does a transphobe get down a hill?
Walking.
...
J/K, rolling.
Did you hear about the toilet paper that rolled down hill?
It wanted to touch bottom.
How do you make a sausage roll?
Did you know that if all the capillaries of a human lung were rolled out onto a tennis court...
The game would likely be cancelled
I found a pretty killer recipe for Moroccan rolls
The recipe called for fresh thyme, but I only had old, dried out thyme, but I was lazy and didn't want to go to the store, so I made them anyway. They came out really good! Amazing!
I still sit around and think about those old thyme Moroccan rolls
My kids were playing pool upstairs when I heard something heavy fall and roll across the floor.
This joke comes with instructions, but it’s worth it for the eye rolls and groans in the end
This is from David Wong’s newest book…
Take a blank piece of paper and draw a bird on it…ask the unfortunate person you are performing this for to name the body parts that you point at. Start with the beak and have them say it out loud. Then point at the feet and have them say it out loud. Finally, point at the wing and have them say it out loud. At this point, roll the paper up into a narrow tube and ask them to make a thumbs up with two closed fists in front of their face. Curve the paper tube and put one end inside one fist, and the other end inside the other fist. Ask them to say the name of the last body part (Wing). Then ask them to say it three times really loud. Then grab the paper, hold it up to your mouth and ear, and say “Hello?”
I had a great childhood. My dad used to roll me down a hill in a tire…
Those were the ‘goodyears.’
what do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in mud and crosses the road again?
Just had a fantastic moment and all I got from the fam was eye rolls, huge success!
So we’re traveling in the tropics and there’s a bunch of flamingos we’re watching and they all take off and start to fly except this one on the outskirts. And I say “looks like that fla-ming didn’t go”
My kids asked what my favorite band was and I said the Rolling Stones
They said, "The Who?"
"No", I said, "The Rolling Stones
Guys - I did it. I made my wife roll her eyes…
We saw a bee today and it was too cold to fly
Did it forget it’s yellow jacket?
Classic rock is a little too heavy for me
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it to roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
You should never roll a pair of CD’s down a hill and see which one reaches the bottom first.
I guess you could say my pun didn’t exactly work-out as planned…
A pea rolled off my plate...
What does the Starship Enterprise and a roll of toilet paper have in common?
They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons
I was driving my truck down an empty back road when I hit a pig. There was no damage to the truck, so I rolled it into the ditch and drove off, confident that nobody had seen it. The next day, cops show up at my door. Shocked, I asked “how did you find out?”
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
One of the pests finally caught me hiding under the bed eating cinnamon rolls
Told me to leave IKEA immediately and never come back.
I asked my GF when the first Grand Prix of the new F1 season was, she said Bahrain on the 4th of March
No they keep going in the rain, they have special tyres for that
I don't roll a joint everyday
but when I do, it's usually my ankle
Got my dad with a dad joke.
I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tyres and roll me down hills..
A pirate walks into a bar with a roll of paper towels on his head
Bartender says “Pirate, what’s with the roll of paper towels?”
“Arrr, I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
Why did the melon roll into the river
It wanted to be a watermelon
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills.
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