What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill?
The penguin who pushed him!
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︎ Jan 08 2021
What kind of clothes does a sliding car wear?
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︎ Sep 14 2020
When youβre sliding in to first and you feel your britches burst...
You should have bought a high quality denim jean with plenty of room for your legs. Those tight jeans are just not practical.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
My friend is so proud that he finally got a waterbed with sliding boxes opened by pulling out and closed by pushing in...
Now he can wake up and jump straight into his drawers!
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︎ Nov 22 2019
I'd have to rate this pun on a sliding scale [xpost from /r/musicmemes]
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︎ May 11 2017
Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest ΞΌ
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Let me just slide in
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︎ Mar 28 2021
What is green and slide through the snow?
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︎ May 07 2021
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just quietly slide it under the refrigerator.
Soon itβll be water under the fridge.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
How do crabs get to school?
They use the side walk!
- came up with this while walking to work today (I work in education)*
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Did you hear about the ice cream van that crashed?
The driver blamed it on the rocky road
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︎ Apr 03 2021
If killing a man is homicide
is killing a friend homiecide
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Once you start spreading lube on a child's slide, you won't be able to stop.
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︎ Sep 17 2020
When puns slide into your DMs
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︎ Aug 12 2020
Where do you put a slide in 2020?
At a plagueground.
I'd like to take credit- but this one was autocorrect oddly enough..
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︎ Nov 26 2020
The vote for better slides on school playgrounds is on the ballot this year.
Unfortunately, I live in a swing state.
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Google slides
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︎ Jul 22 2020
What did the Frenchman say as he went down the slide?
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︎ May 19 2020
An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says
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︎ Feb 04 2020
Iβve been building play structures for kids in my spare time...
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︎ May 08 2021
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?
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︎ Jan 31 2021
I had to give a presentation on playgrounds...
There were lots of slides.
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︎ Apr 21 2021
Welcome to the Dark Slide
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︎ Oct 23 2019
Otter slide
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︎ Feb 04 2020
If a Tesla drifts...
Would that be considered an electric slide?
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︎ Mar 04 2021
Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess Iβm a dad now!
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Why did the chicken cross the PowerPoint?
To get to the other slide
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
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︎ Jan 08 2020
What fruit likes to go down slides?
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︎ Mar 25 2020
Sui-slide
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︎ May 10 2019
The TSA detained a passenger in possession of a slide rule, compass and calculator...
They said he was carrying weapons of math instruction, and was a member of the Alge-bra movement.
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︎ May 22 2020
If you slide around too much on the toilet seat
You might get a turd degree burn.
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︎ Mar 08 2020
My son wanted to go on the metal slide at the park today, it was 38Β°c
I told him that was suislide
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︎ Jun 06 2020
A Welshman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a park and see a slide. This is no ordinary slide, mind you, this slide is magic!
Anything you say as you're going down the slide is what you will land in.
The Irishman goes first.
"A POT OF GOLD!" he yells as he slides down and he lands in a pot of gold.
The Welshman goes next.
"POT OF DIAMONDS!" he yells just as loud as the Irishman and he lands in a pot of diamonds.
The Englishman goes next, but he's been on the drink, so he stumbles his way up the slide, then, as he begins his journey down the slide, he yells, "WEEEEE!"
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︎ Oct 13 2019
When we arrived at the playground, I realised my son secretly brought the cat with him. I was about to be angry at him...
...but then I decided to let it slide.
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Other names include the- Slide of Death, or the slide to heaven
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︎ Mar 17 2019
I'm starting to get sick of driving on icy roads.
Up until now I was willing to let it slide.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
In response to u/-umop-apisdn 's earlier post titled "Suislide" I present Sue-a-Slide
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︎ Sep 01 2019
Before he passed away, my grandfather said, βHere are three words that would help open a lot of doors for you.β
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︎ May 11 2020
What do you get when you pick a pigβs nose?
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︎ Nov 20 2020
I'm closing one eye, down this water slide...
Winking in a water wonderland!
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︎ Dec 17 2019
From my 10 yr old. "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE PLAYGROUND?"
To get to the other slide
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︎ Jan 18 2021
A man was walking g down the street...
When out of nowhere, he gets hit by a car and flipped over. A woman came running over as he was lying on the sidewalk, takes off her jacket and slides it u der his head.
"Are you comfortable?" The woman asked
"Meh, I make a living." He replied.
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︎ Feb 04 2021
Why did the preschooler cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
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︎ Jan 12 2021
My Biology lab presented a slide show about using a microscope.
It was called "how to focus" but I wasn't paying attention to the rest.
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︎ Sep 12 2019
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︎ Mar 27 2018
LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, gently slide them under your refrigerator.
Soon, itβll be water under the fridge.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Three cats are on a roof. Which one slides off first?
The one with the smallest mu.
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︎ Jan 23 2020
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