What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill?

The penguin who pushed him!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of clothes does a sliding car wear?

a skirrrrrrt.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeftHex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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When you’re sliding in to first and you feel your britches burst...

You should have bought a high quality denim jean with plenty of room for your legs. Those tight jeans are just not practical.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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My friend is so proud that he finally got a waterbed with sliding boxes opened by pulling out and closed by pushing in...

Now he can wake up and jump straight into his drawers!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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I'd have to rate this pun on a sliding scale [xpost from /r/musicmemes]
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zonination
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
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Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?

The one with the lowest ΞΌ

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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Let me just slide in
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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What is green and slide through the snow?

Parsleigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/totalynotyoghurt
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just quietly slide it under the refrigerator.

Soon it’ll be water under the fridge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
How do crabs get to school?

They use the side walk!

  • came up with this while walking to work today (I work in education)*
πŸ‘︎ 592
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyruleTrigger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the ice cream van that crashed?

The driver blamed it on the rocky road

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πŸ‘€︎ u/belizzb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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If killing a man is homicide

is killing a friend homiecide

πŸ‘︎ 243
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πŸ‘€︎ u/k1ll1ngtime
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Once you start spreading lube on a child's slide, you won't be able to stop.

It's a slippery slope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twowheeledfun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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When puns slide into your DMs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshsundquist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Where do you put a slide in 2020?

At a plagueground.

I'd like to take credit- but this one was autocorrect oddly enough..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wetcardboardsmell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The vote for better slides on school playgrounds is on the ballot this year.

Unfortunately, I live in a swing state.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wB68
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Google slides
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T1_L
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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What did the Frenchman say as he went down the slide?

Yes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/11_e1even_11
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says

Wait, wrong sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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I’ve been building play structures for kids in my spare time...

It’s my slide hustle.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bamboo-harvester
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?

It runs in your jeans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_dude_abides3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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I had to give a presentation on playgrounds...

There were lots of slides.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorMasterBates
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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Welcome to the Dark Slide
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sheepherder226
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Otter slide
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kai_T4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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If a Tesla drifts...

Would that be considered an electric slide?

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryingstlfan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess I’m a dad now!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elanstake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the PowerPoint?

To get to the other slide

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuickScope1597
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?

Pulp Friction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What fruit likes to go down slides?

Ki-Wheeee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScotchHarbour
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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Sui-slide
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danedk21
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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The TSA detained a passenger in possession of a slide rule, compass and calculator...

They said he was carrying weapons of math instruction, and was a member of the Alge-bra movement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
If you slide around too much on the toilet seat

You might get a turd degree burn.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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My son wanted to go on the metal slide at the park today, it was 38Β°c

I told him that was suislide

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadMeemo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A Welshman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a park and see a slide. This is no ordinary slide, mind you, this slide is magic!

Anything you say as you're going down the slide is what you will land in.

The Irishman goes first.

"A POT OF GOLD!" he yells as he slides down and he lands in a pot of gold.

The Welshman goes next.

"POT OF DIAMONDS!" he yells just as loud as the Irishman and he lands in a pot of diamonds.

The Englishman goes next, but he's been on the drink, so he stumbles his way up the slide, then, as he begins his journey down the slide, he yells, "WEEEEE!"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
When we arrived at the playground, I realised my son secretly brought the cat with him. I was about to be angry at him...

...but then I decided to let it slide.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Other names include the- Slide of Death, or the slide to heaven
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rud-Hi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm starting to get sick of driving on icy roads.

Up until now I was willing to let it slide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
In response to u/-umop-apisdn 's earlier post titled "Suislide" I present Sue-a-Slide
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBarramundi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Before he passed away, my grandfather said, β€œHere are three words that would help open a lot of doors for you.”

Push and Pull.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?

Ham Boogers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm closing one eye, down this water slide...

Winking in a water wonderland!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
From my 10 yr old. "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE PLAYGROUND?"

To get to the other slide

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πŸ‘€︎ u/According-Ease
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A man was walking g down the street...

When out of nowhere, he gets hit by a car and flipped over. A woman came running over as he was lying on the sidewalk, takes off her jacket and slides it u der his head.

"Are you comfortable?" The woman asked

"Meh, I make a living." He replied.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the preschooler cross the road?

To get to the other slide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My Biology lab presented a slide show about using a microscope.

It was called "how to focus" but I wasn't paying attention to the rest.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HAJpodge13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
This translates to "Wake me up" in slide imgur.com/tDhj3lA
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dublekfx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, gently slide them under your refrigerator.

Soon, it’ll be water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Three cats are on a roof. Which one slides off first?

The one with the smallest mu.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/caraknowsbest
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report

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