Let me just slide in
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just quietly slide it under the refrigerator.

Soon it’ll be water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Once you start spreading lube on a child's slide, you won't be able to stop.

It's a slippery slope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twowheeledfun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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When puns slide into your DMs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshsundquist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Where do you put a slide in 2020?

At a plagueground.

I'd like to take credit- but this one was autocorrect oddly enough..

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wetcardboardsmell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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The vote for better slides on school playgrounds is on the ballot this year.

Unfortunately, I live in a swing state.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wB68
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Google slides
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T1_L
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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What did the Frenchman say as he went down the slide?

Yes.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/11_e1even_11
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says

Wait, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 666
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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Welcome to the Dark Slide
πŸ‘︎ 495
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sheepherder226
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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Otter slide
πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kai_T4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What fruit likes to go down slides?

Ki-Wheeee

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScotchHarbour
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?

Pulp Friction

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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The TSA detained a passenger in possession of a slide rule, compass and calculator...

They said he was carrying weapons of math instruction, and was a member of the Alge-bra movement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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Sui-slide
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danedk21
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
If you slide around too much on the toilet seat

You might get a turd degree burn.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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My son wanted to go on the metal slide at the park today, it was 38Β°c

I told him that was suislide

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadMeemo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A Welshman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a park and see a slide. This is no ordinary slide, mind you, this slide is magic!

Anything you say as you're going down the slide is what you will land in.

The Irishman goes first.

"A POT OF GOLD!" he yells as he slides down and he lands in a pot of gold.

The Welshman goes next.

"POT OF DIAMONDS!" he yells just as loud as the Irishman and he lands in a pot of diamonds.

The Englishman goes next, but he's been on the drink, so he stumbles his way up the slide, then, as he begins his journey down the slide, he yells, "WEEEEE!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Three cats are on a roof. Which one slides off first?

The one with the smallest mu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caraknowsbest
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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Other names include the- Slide of Death, or the slide to heaven
πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rud-Hi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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In response to u/-umop-apisdn 's earlier post titled "Suislide" I present Sue-a-Slide
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBarramundi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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I'm closing one eye, down this water slide...

Winking in a water wonderland!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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My Biology lab presented a slide show about using a microscope.

It was called "how to focus" but I wasn't paying attention to the rest.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HAJpodge13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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This translates to "Wake me up" in slide imgur.com/tDhj3lA
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dublekfx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
🚨︎ report
You can get addicted to slip'n'slides

So be careful...it's a slippery slope.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/One_Day_Dead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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For my english final, I had to type a 6 page essay about AIDS, along with a one slide powerpoint with related pictures. My teacher didn't care for my pun. imgur.com/y5yqAD8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDjentleWhoodie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2013
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We just got brand new hardwood floors and my wife wanted to slide down the hallway in her socks (true story).

Wife: I'm gonna do a Jerry McGuire down the hallway!

Me: That's "Risky Business" honey

Wife: Don't worry I'll be careful!

Me: ....ok dear

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thetewj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you piss down a slide?

A weeee wee

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acekayrox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Santa slide down chimneys anymore?

Cause he’s Claustrophobic

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssigea
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Water slides are made of h2woah!
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I just finished building a water slide.

It's time to give it a dry run.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MentatTir
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Two kittens on sloped roof. Which one slides off first?

The one with the lowest mew.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deadfamousdinesh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Water slides might seem harmless, but they are actually quite addictive....

It's a slippery slope

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2016
🚨︎ report
My coworker told me his 3 year old son has discovered he likes slides.

I told him he better be careful; that's a slippery slope.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrinMacGregor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Sitting at the top of the giant slide at a carnival with my fiancΓ©e.

Yell embarrassingly loudly, "HELLO FROM THE OTHER SLIIIIIIIIIIDE!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DbakerOnAhorse
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2016
🚨︎ report
During a family slide show...

[This wasn't my dad but I was present and think you folks will like the story]

My friend's cousin had recently biked across Canada for charity, and he was showing us his pictures. On the desk top there was a shortcut to a program called QuickTax. My friends Dad notices and promptly says:

"QuickTax? Sure sounds better than SlowTax!"

He proceeded to chuckle to himself for longer than he probably should have.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/duncxan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2013
🚨︎ report
dad did a project for work. he told his boss he could change anything but the cover slide.

http://i.imgur.com/BrQexkT.jpg?1

he's so proud of himself. he printed a copy and put it on our fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nabiscotits
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2013
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, gently slide them under your refrigerator.

Soon, it’ll be water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report

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