βNothing special,β they said, βWe just tell them theyβre going to die.β
So I have been back to the charity shop to get all her clothes back!
They planet (plan it)
"...put an βsβ at the front and an βeβ at the end!"
He yells "UNO!"
The crowd falls silent in anticipation.
"DOS!"
Everyone's eyes are wide, laser focused on the preformer.
Then, the magician vanishes... without a tres.
"No it's not, it's MUNday!" The apprentice has now become the master.
He brews it
I guess that's hindsight in 2020
Because very rarely is a medium well done.
He trains.
You should breddit.
Me: Sure...Listen Chicken, There is no easy way for me to say this...
All I say all day is "pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up"
The waiter responds, "Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."
Question: Why don't radioactive animals talk?
Answer: Because they're mute-ated!
Itβs grate
My job really shucks.
I was speechless.
They said that they just tell them straight out that you're gonna die.
Hi unforgiving, I'm dad"
"Yes you are"
It left their stomach churning.
He trains.
Today a student of mine was wearing a Pikachu onesie for pajama day at work (a junior in h.s.).our conversation went like this. If she wasn't in anime club with me I would have left her alone.
Me: did your wear that so guys would want to take a peek-at-chu?
Student : Mrs. Acinomismonica, please stop
Me: why? You scared they won't choose you?
Student : I'm going to stop talking to you now
Me: don't be such an Ash
Student : Mrs. Acinomismonica, you need to stop!
Me: c'mon student, you gotta Ketchum to my jokes
Enter the rest of my class groaning, it was a good day. Good thing I stopped before they threw Brocks at me.
Then they draw.
Husband hands me the only thing that's mine (a small 8lb dumbbell) and says "it's really time you carried your own weight around here." I think he's ready for the baby to get here.
Tonight, my dad is barbecuing salmon for dinner. In order to barbecue this salmon, he needs to first put it in warm water in the dishpan so that it can thaw. However, my mom is using the dishpan, and it's full of water, so he has to wait for her to be done.
Shortly thereafter, she's done with the dishpan and goes to the door to go outside and throw the water on the plants. Only problem: the door is closed. So the following exchange occurs.
>Mom: Hey dad, can you grab the door for me?
>Dad: OK. grabs door handle really hard HNNNNNNG
>Mom: ಠ_ಠ
>Dad: grunting with effort I'm doing this for you, dear!
>Mom: Can you... open the door for me, dear?
>Dad: Oh. opens door What did you think that was going to accomplish, anyway?
They planet
they planet
They planet!
