Get ready.
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/just_overated
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2022
🚨︎ report
I'm scared of Elevators.

I take steps to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Charms_505
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2022
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I am going to sue Ikea

But for that I need to build a case

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lurebat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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Some terrorists wanted to film a documentary about plane hijackings

They are currently shooting the pilot

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heartbreaker963
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m ready to share my Grandma’s special Gold soup recipe: first you boil the water,

... then add 24 carrots

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PileOfThoughts
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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What kind of music does Mufasa’s brother like?

Ska.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yojimbo67
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down.

Do you think it's stumped?

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Belgium??
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prabeshdai13
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Lesser known Knights of the Round Table

β€œI was the knight no one expected to see on the battlefield.” - Sir Prize

β€œI shall see you around.” - Sir Cumference

β€œWe shall fight on land or sea.” - Sir Fenturf

β€œI was the knight who was afraid to fight.” - Sir Render

β€œI was the unbelievable knight.” - Sir Real

β€œI was the knight that drank too much.” - Sir Rhosis

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Yes my good meme
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wigglywumpus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Han Solo crying at the dinner table?

Because the meat was Chewie.

πŸ‘︎ 391
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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Why did the knight carry his cheese sword?

Because it was sharp cheddar.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubsword
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Kids these days with ADHD don’t know how good they have it.

Back in my day we had to watch our AD in 480i

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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A few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is overrated.

It’s just a curd to me.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, is the Fibonacci sequence hard to understand?”

β€œNope. It’s as easy as 1,1,2,3.”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
They rushed me into the hospital with all my limbs detached, screaming in pain, but the doctor took one look at me and rolled his eyes.

β€œPull yourself together.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jollyben
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the chef lose the cooking competition?

He ran out of thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onsyde
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister majored in Philosophy. I saw her sobbing the other day, worried she won’t get a job.

I said, β€œAre you having an existential cry, sis?”

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm not even a father yet, but I feel like I'm prepared

Friend A: What'd y'all do this summer?

Friend B: I studied abroad.

Me: Was she at least nice about it?

^^I'm ^^so ^^sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sabard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
🚨︎ report
I had a cup of tea in my hand when he said this:

Dad: Do you know why I don't drink tea?

Me: Why?

Dad: Because the prices are too steep.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/susejdotcom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
🚨︎ report

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