A good realtor is always equipped with a video camera.
It's how they get the square footage.
What do you call a alligator equipped with gps?
This car comes fully equipped with two subwoofers.
What animal is best equipped to go swimming?
Elephants because they always have their trunks with them.
My mom asked my dad, “Why is Santa’s Sleigh equipped with an umbrella?”
My dad replied, “Because of the rain dear”
Did you know that ambulances are equipped with Wii U's nowadays?
You can tell because every time they turn on their sirens it goes "Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U"
WIFE: (on important phone call from client) "Ah yes, cargo equipment".
Me: No! Car go bbrrrmmmmm!!
Someone at the gym asked to share equipment
My wife and daughters were getting ready for the school year, putting together class equipment and ask “Do we have a ruler?”
From another room I exclaim “I suppose the queen? But next Prince William”.
The groans were audible!
I’ve heard ABBA have invested in military equipment.
I didn’t think my new job mending camping equipment would be very exciting. But, guys…
A coffee shop mysteriously closed after reports of ghosts haunting their equipment...
You could say there was trouble brewing.
What piece of lab equipment has the most education?
There's one species' ghost that can be seen without equipment, and it's bears
You have to look really hard though, they're bearly there
Mounted some shelves today and each pair came with a full set of mounting equipment. This was just funny on multiple levels.
Why do they called a massive piece of farming equipment a combine?
Because If they called it a potential arm ripper from the shoulder they would not sell many.
I prefer buying wireless equipment
When paying there are no strings attached
The health clinic I went to said they didn’t have the equipment to treat me and they kicked me out.
They could have been more hospitable.
Instead of using surgical equipment to perform my circumcision, the doctor decided to go with a root vegetable.
My company was bought recently bought out, now instead of making baseball equipment we're making German sausages...
...things have just gone from bat to wurst.
A lorry full of snooker equipment just crashed on the motorway...
I recently picked up a new hobby making tennis equipment
Unfortunately my wife made me stop after I started making a racket
I went to a HiFi store when I visited Tokyo. I tried playing some of my favourite songs on their equipment, but I couldn’t understand any of it
They were all non-English speakers
Did you know that Dogs, regardless of breed, cannot operate complex medical equipment?
Testing talent show equipment
As a courier, I regularly deliver golf equipment to the same guy.
You could say he's found the ideal driver.
My dog was sitting on top of some sound equipment
My eldest wanted to know why I wouldn't lend him any of my tools, but I let his younger brother, the prodigal son, borrow whatever equipment he wants.
Simple, I said, the prodigal son returns...
Where does Harry Potter keep his Gym equipment?
Behind the Dumb-Bell door..
The other day I had to climb up some equipment at a cheese making factory.
I thought that it was strong enough to clamber up, but it ended up giving whey.
2 cows are in an police interview room accused of stealing dairy equipment
One cow says, it was the udder one
The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds...
...they will be subma-weiners.
Sitting in the ER with my son last night, he got me with this one. I was trying to lift his spirits and was pointing out all the crazy equipment they have in the room. I said "Oh look. They have tongue depressers." He says "Those won't work on me." I asked why and he says...
"I'm on antidepressants."
He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
Ladies, if your boyfriend asks for matador equipment for christmas...
Where do serial killers get their equipment?
Went to the store yesterday and bought a single cherry and some microphone equipment
Bought-a-Bing, Bought-a-boom
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
I used to be a magician, but there was an explosion in my equipment
My audience was blown away
What is a half-life fan's favorite piece of farm equipment?
How does a bubble farmer harvest his or her crops?
What do you call scientific equipment that went to college?
What kind of equipment do you need to study birds?
Where do folks from Bilbao, Spain buy outdoor equipment?
What do you say when you see / had seen a pirate version of saw holding a frozen buzzsaw on a piece of playground equipment?
I see/saw sea saw on a seesaw, with an icy saw
Drunk driver overturned his van on road carrying snooker equipment.
Police says he is under a-rest and there is cues a mile long.
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