What do mechanical engineers gift their loved ones?
I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.
Guess they needed an emergency service.
Why are KKK members terrible car mechanics?
They never check under the hood.
What do you call a Turkish mechanic?
Did you hear about the mechanic who fell asleep under the car?
He woke up oily in the morning
What do a mechanic and a lesbian have in common?
The rather oppressive female mechanic was trying to sell me 5 new manual transmissions
Luckily, I managed to escape her clutches.
Mechanic: You should give your car a spoiler to improve its handling.
Me: Iron Man dies at the end.
I'm going to have to fire my mechanic. He's always losing track of time.
And "Temporal Mechanics" is a dumb name for a company anyway.
If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"
The mechanic told me that he fixed the elevator
Someone recently came back from surgery after an accident with their eye. They got a new eye and a mechanical cover that can shine light while covering the eye
The doctors called it eyeLEDs
My mechanic said there was nothing wrong with my...
My mechanic tells me my engine keeps stalling because of excess friction.
Now I know I'm getting some wear.
I would tell a joke about quantum mechanics...
But if you saw it, it wouldn't be as good
I asked my mechanic why everyone made fun of what was on my wheel
What fish makes the best mechanic?
TunerFish!
My son came up with that one yesterday, future smart ass dad in training.
A small boy went to sex ed class and then asked his father
is this a dad joke?
No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.
Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.
I brought my car to a mechanic and asked him, “Do you have any idea why my car is humming?”
He replied, “Probably because it doesn’t know all the lyrics.”
The first animal to be mechanically milked must've been pumped.
I know it's an old joke, I'm just milking it dry. I just think its dairy funny.
A Penguin sent his car off to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...
He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.
Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.
Penguin: Ah no that’s just ice cream.
I like the uniform mechanics wear...
What is a mechanic's wet dream
What do you call an amish man with his hand up a horse's a**?
Part of me thinks cognitive dissonance can be a useful coping mechanism
... but another part of me disagrees.
My teacher is giving a lecture on the mechanisms of drilling
So far, I find it very boring
Did you hear about the mechanic that got addicted to drinking brake fluid?
He said he could stop any time he wants.
I lost my pizza cutter so I had to use a Bryan Adams CD instead
In case anyone is wondering it cuts like a knife
How do you call a group of mechanics?
Carmen. I'll show myself out.
What does a mechanic do after a one night stand?
Worst movie title idea - Temporal Mechanics:
An old car was asked by a mechanic if it wanted its wheels replaced...
It replied "no thanks, I've just retired."
A mechanic fell asleep and was crushed when another mechanic didn’t see him and lowered the lift. Cause of death? He was tire’d.
What does a mechanical frog say?
I just picked up my car from the mechanic...
I’d love to say they did a good job, but it feels like it’s really braking.
I saw a mechanic fixing the tailpipe of a car
My father, the elevator mechanic
My father has been working as an elevator mechanic most of his life. Whenever people ask him how work is going he says "It has its ups and downs"
Hes been making this joke for 27 years
Hear about the mute bicycle mechanic?
Hear about the mute bicycle mechanic?
He picked up a wheel and spoke 😂
What do you call a Turkish car mechanic?
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."
Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!
How did the mechanical frog greet his friends?
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