It’s a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldn’t whisk for a batter friend.
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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The Ford Motor Company suspects r/wallstreetbets is to blame...

...for the order of 1,000 Caramel Mach-E autos.

So they are putting the order on hold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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My local pastor is a keen motor cyclist...

He's just bought himself a Holy Davidson.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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The engineer installed a motor too powerfull in the moving stairway

It escalated very quickly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/midy-dk
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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I am trading in my sailboat for a motor boat.

I need to go on a power trip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/khendron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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I built a car with my washing machine motor.

I am going to take it for a spin later.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyyTrees
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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Why are there no politically correct motor-sports fans?

PC-people don't see race.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sdric
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Yesterday I bought two boats at an amazing price. Heavily discounted because they didn't have motors.

They were on sail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dimer0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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If a bicycle can't stay up on its own because it's two-tired, then why can a motor cycle stay up?

It's more revved up

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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What's a ducks favorite motor oil?

Quacker state.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LambyRides
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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I just got a car from Lee's Morning Motors.

Yea, you heard. I got a car from Lee-AM Nissan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AirwaveRaptor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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I wouldn't let my newborn work on my Ferrari's engine

He doesn't have fine motor skills

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjo_kes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Friend of mine got a windshield wiper motor for his Yugo

It was a good trade

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fluffy_assassins
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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Whats the fastest thing on the river bed?

A motor-pike and side-carp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Moto Motor likes you
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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BREAKING NEWS: Apple and Kia Motors have joined forces to produce a kit set electric car in sweden...

... they are calling it the iKia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NZOC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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How do car engines have sex?

They suck squeeze bang blow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lobster910
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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I once read a history of General Motors

It was more like an autobiography

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Capt-Redbeard
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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I like to tell dad jokes.

Usually he tells me to shut up and to hand him a wrench to take apart a motor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Motor neurone disease.....

Ugh it gets on my nerves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Finn-GJ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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What do fish sticks use to get their motors running?

Tartar Fluid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCLooyverse
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
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I don't think Tesla Motors would ever be involved in a Watergate type scandal

Elongate is really a stretch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_mach
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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What’s a pirates favorite motor sport?

R C -car racing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tkstormkt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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A man gets on an escalator and starts going up, but the motor malfunctions, causing him to speed out of control and fall flat on his face.

All I can say is... that escalated quickly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/appa-ate-momo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
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Why do motorized vehicles always get over traumatic events faster than everything else?

They have shock absorbers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Argon1124
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
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I got the Tesla Motors subreddit with a good one...

http://imgur.com/zWndy2o

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radiobamboo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2016
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So the B-17 Flying Fortress's main rival the B-24 Liberator was built by the Ford motor company...

I guess you could call it a...

Flying FORDTRESS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pperson25
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2015
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What do you call a settee with an outboard motor?

A high speed chaise!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acnine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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Why do babies grab at car keys?

They are trying to get better motor control.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FriendlyCraig
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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Maureen works at a boat shop ...

... She's not always nice to me.  Sometimes she's Evinrude.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tqgibtngo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
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Bus puns?

Friend of mine is going to be driving a bus around Australia, decked out motor home style. What are your best bus puns for a name?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newybrewy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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Showed my Dad Warm Bodies the other day, he caught me off guard this time.

If you don't know the movie, there's a scene where the main character (R) is attempting to drive a car and he's starting and stopping because he can't control his limbs fully.

So my dad just quietly goes. "Makes sense, he's got bad motor control."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Tamassran_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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Dealing with some shit

I live on a sail boat and started what I thought would be a small project. I wanted to ensure that my toilet plumbing was working correctly before having a guest over so I turned on my macerator and began pumping clear water through the system to clean the toilet and clear the system completely. For those that don’t know, a macerator is basically a garbage disposal like you would have in your kitchen sink buttttt for your poop. It cuts up your poop and toilet paper so that it can be discarded over board in smaller pieces. Of course the pump wasn’t working correctly so I detached some plumbing, looked into the macerator motor and got way more into it than I had planned for. My guest was on her way and I didn’t want to necessarily tell her what I was dealing with because I didn’t want to gross her out. When she showed up I was just putting stuff away and had finished the project. Of course she asked what I was working on, I proclaim β€œ oh I just needed to deal with some shit” and left it at that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lzrdkng421
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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My daughter is a terrible driver but her doctor disagrees...

He said she's got fine motor skills.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arnoldmanface
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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xkcd 1378 is a dadjoke

http://xkcd.com/1378/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/searingsky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2014
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Neuroanatomy professor dad jokes the class

He was lecturing on the cranial nerves, which do pretty much everything for the head. They control all 5 senses and motor output as well as some other non relevant stuff.

Professor: So class does everyone remember what the senses are?

Class: touch/pain, sight, hearing/equilibrium, smell, taste.

Professor: Does anyone know what the sixth sense is?

Class: (thinking hes serious) Guess random shit like magnetoreception.

Professor: The sixth sense is the ability to see dead people.

Class: combination of groans and laughter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/braaaaiins
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
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Getting cold this time of year

With winter pretty much here my little garage ship has been getting pretty cold. I have poor circulation so my fingers become icicles and I drop tools, which can be very dangerous. So I duct taped some gloves to some German electric power tools. This way I keep my fingers warm while still retaining my Fein motor control.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beowolf241
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
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Is Michael Giacchino the greatest Star Trek Dad Joker in the world?

He must have it in his Genes.

But seriously check out his Star Trek track listings. The guy loves a good pun.

Star Trek

  1. Star Trek

  2. Nailin' The Kelvin

  3. Labor Of Love

  4. Hella Bar Talk

  5. Enterprising Young Men

  6. Nero Sighted

  7. Nice To Meld You

  8. Run And Shoot Offense

  9. Does It Still McFly?

  10. Nero Death Experience

  11. Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns

  12. Back From Black

  13. That New Car Smell

  14. To Boldly Go

  15. End Credits

Star Trek Into Darkness

  1. Logos / Pranking The Natives

  2. Spock Drops, Kirk Jumps

  3. Sub Prime Directive

  4. London Calling

  5. Meld-Merized

  6. The Kronos Wartet

  7. Brigadoom

  8. Ship To Ship

  9. Earthbound And Down

  10. Warp Core Values

  11. Buying The Space Farm

  12. The San Fran Hustle

  13. Kirk Enterprises

  14. Star Trek Main Theme

Star Trek Beyond

  1. Logo and Prosper

  2. Thank Your Lucky Star Date

  3. Night on the Yorktown

  4. The Dance of the Nebula

  5. A Swarm Reception

  6. Hitting the Saucer a Little Hard

  7. Jaylah Damage

  8. In Artifacts as in Life

  9. Franklin, My Dear

  10. A Lesson in Vulcan Mineralogy

  11. MotorCycles of Relief

  12. Mocking Jaylah

  13. Crash Decisions

  14. Krall-y Krall-y Oxen Free

  15. Shutdown Happens

  16. Cater-Krall in Zero G

  17. Par-tay for the Course

  18. Star Trek Main Theme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegeneral400
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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No escape from dad jokes, even at the aquarium

I took my fiancΓ©e to the sea life centre this afternoon. In the walk-through tunnel under the aquarium, she spotted a fish which had a large wound on its side which looked quite nasty.

"I wonder what happened to it" she asked.

"Maybe it fell off its motor-pike" I replied.

Eye rolling commenced.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carl0071
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2017
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Few years old but still my favourite.

While on the road in our motor home, there was a fly buzzing about inside the van and it landed next to my father on the window. Without hesitation he grabbed his packet of cigarettes and slammed it down on the fly. My dad then proceeded to say "Smoking Kills" and continued driving.

Just something I remember from when I was younger. Ah, good times.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSeanicles
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2015
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I guess I'm ready to be a dad..

Dad: I found a nice Harley, but they've swapped the motor out for some other brand Me: What do they call that, a Hardly Davidson? Dad: groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unlimitedJUICE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2014
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Whale watching...

So mom and dad have my wife and my kid along with my sister's kid out whale watching and sent us a photo of orcas they saw. This followed...

Me: killer view!
Siss: killer view!
Me: are you thinking the same as me OR CAn you not think of anything unique and are copying me on porpoise
Me: I mean I’m having a whale of a time
Me: Did you FINish?
Me: Does your boat have a motor anD/OR SAIL?
Mom (probably dad's joke tho): You are on a roll
Me: Not sure I have many lines left actually
Me: Actually I’m beginning to waver on that statement
Me: Though it seems siss has bowed out of the conversation.
Me: Maybe she’ll come up with something after I’m done
Me: have you guys SEAn (sic) anything other than orcas?
Mom: Humpback
Me: good day for that!
Wife: Very cool!
Me: Definitely looks chilly
Wife: 20 texts... Wow
Me: Definitely an imPORTant thread to watch
Me: like how i cap-size my text to make the joke obvious?
Me: siss’ silence is fishy tho
Mom: You definitely LANDed them
Me: They just come to me and I let em sail
Me: To admit some are a bit ridockulous
Me: Which can make them tough to catch
Me: but I’ll keep tossing them out there anyway for the few that land
Me: I think we lost the point of the conversation though
Me: Let's coral it back
Me: I'm being far too shellfish by uslurping it like this
Me: But Siss did have the gull to keep repeating me
Me: Buoy that one was bad

edit: formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabeanzelini
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2015
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Not sure if dad joke or troll-dad

One of the many my dad got me with when I was a kid;

I was always fascinated with cars and overheard someone say that he liked Subarus because of the "boxer" engine. Later I asked dad what that was, and he said it was because they used the engine out of the Porsche Boxter.

For many years I argued with my friends that Subarus must be really fast because of their Porsche motors.

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πŸ“…︎ May 18 2015
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Wood Motorcycle

A man once built a bike all of wood. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden motor, even wooden gas tank.

Did he ever ride it? No, because it wooden start!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/browserleet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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