Pun enters a room, kills 10 people Pun in, 10 dead
Guys, stop reposting other people's puns. Don't turn this sub into a post apocalyptic wasteland.
A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.
There's a term for people like Trump
I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.
It’s my jingle bell rock.
Now days, people don't use the name Lance very often
In medieval times, people were named Lance a lot
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t even well rounded.
You gotta hand it to short people.
Because they cant reach it.
Why can't blind people eat ocean fish?
Because it's see-food!
my 11 year old daughter ran in here while cooking greens and dropped that knowledge on us. I couldn't be more proud lol.
edit: just wanted to let those of you who have is awards that I appreciate it! I told my daughter about them and she asked if she can keep telling jokes for me to put on here lol. should get fairly interesting.
thanks all. I hope you had a great turkey gobble day
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Our first single is "Bread or Alive."
The only people to show up to my friend’s funeral were some of his one night stands and some friends from church.
A lot of people accuse me of plagiarism.
But those are their words, not mine.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
(I'll see myself out)
I can’t believe people are still making “Friends” references 15 years after the show ended.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
I don't know why people are afraid of flying...
Most crashes happen at ground level.
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
My therapist told me to write letters to people I hated and then burn them.
I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.
Only people sorting by new can see this gem. (Evil laugh)
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?
Because dawn is tough on Greece.
Other people: "So you like ice puns?"
As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way....
I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
For Intelligent, Down-to-Earth People.
If we got rid of the Earth's core,
it would be dismantling to our infrastructure.
Two people are at someone's funeral
The host asks the guest,
"Would you like to say a word?"
The guest than goes up than says,
"Bargain"
The host starts crying and says,
"That means a great deal."
There is a group of people that always ends things...
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless
Why smart people don't rock (Credit: how.how)
Don't throw sodium chloride at people.
People ask me where I steal all my dad jokes from
They get surprise to know that I have a dad-a-base
People are usually shocked...
When they find out I'm not a good electrician
They say 1 in 4 people are Dyslexic and there's 4 people in my office.
It's either Me or Darren or Kevin or Anal.
Its's Anal isnt it.
I just don't get people who wear deodorant.
I can't understand their Axe scent
Biracial people prove that not everything is black and white.
What's the favorite movie of dead people?
People who run behind cars get exhausted.
But people who run in front of cars get tired.
You know, people say they pick their nose...
But I was just born with mine?
British people be like I'm bri ish
It's because they drank the t
Statistics shows that people who have the most birthdays....
Those people who refuse to date foot amputees?
They are lack toes intolerant.
I saw a man that used different cuts of steak to create portraits of people
It was a rare medium, but well done
I don't understand how some people don't care about elephants being an endangered species.
I guess they just find them irrelephant.
Pun walks into a room and kills ten people. Pun in, 10 dead.
Pun enters room, kills 10 people. Pun in, ten dead. GET IT, PUN IN TEN DEAD
Why do the people of Athens not wake up early?
Because Dawn is tough on Greece
Don't throw sodium chloride at people
A pun walks into a bar and kills ten people.
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
I can’t believe that even after 15 years, I would still hear people making “Friends” references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
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