My twins give me chills, dehydration, fatigue, fever, loss of appetite, and extreme diarrhea.
Their names are Sam and Ella.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
Did you know that too much sex can cause memory loss??
I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 12:22 pm on September 23rd of last year.
π︎ 65
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
What do you call a big weight loss?
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π
︎ Sep 19 2020
Tried coming up with a good meme, but I found myself at a loss.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
What dessert is popular amongst those with memory loss?
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Hearing loss.
https://preview.redd.it/el0b8g5ppsd51.png?width=532&format=png&auto=webp&s=ab5dcea74bed5f718e2302d61dee111ec7fda5ee
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 29 2020
Iβd tell you a joke about memory loss but..
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
Iβve been writing a book on weight loss.
I hope it will appeal to a wide audience.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
Doctor: You have a disease that causes memory loss.
Me: Is it contagious?
Doctor: Is what contagious?
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π
︎ May 30 2020
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
Did you know that having too much sex causes memory loss?
Or at least that what page 137 figure II part B of my middle school science textbook said.
π︎ 194
π
︎ Jan 11 2020
Heard about the Texan with memory loss?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 18 2020
Loss
π︎ 11
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︎ Dec 21 2019
My daughter asked me for a recommendation for a good book. I told her I had the perfect book in my collection for her to read. It has drama, romance, betrayal, excitement, action, love, loss, heroes, villians, mystery and puzzles. Pretty much everything really. Excitedly she asked me for it.
I handed her the dictionary.
π︎ 469
π
︎ Jan 16 2019
I am at a loss of words
π︎ 20
π
︎ Apr 07 2019
I'm thinking of writing a weight loss book
Mostly because it would apply to a wide audience.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 19 2019
I keep telling this girl who works on a farm to get over the loss of her favorite cow.
But she couldn't put it pasture.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 24 2019
I tried explaining to my girlfriend what the effects of network packet loss were.
But I just couldn't get the message across.
Edit: I wish I knew more about networking so I could understand all these jokes.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 01 2016
Whatβs the first stage of grief and loss in Egypt?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 20 2019
I was recently told that I have short term memory loss.
Oh and by the way, did I mention that I also have short term memory loss?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 18 2019
Does anyone have any weight loss mantras?
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 30 2019
I have short-term memory loss.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 19 2019
weight loss
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 26 2018
I came up with a joke about memory loss
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 07 2019
What did the football coach say to the game developer when they loss?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 08 2019
Someone should make a weight-loss book for incels
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 13 2019
Did you hear about the loss of nemo the fish?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 31 2019
Amazing new weight loss technique?
So I saw this crazy salesman trying to convince every passer-by that you can lose weight just by repeating a special series of weight loss mantras every day.
"Fat chance!" I called out, rolling my eyes.
"EXACTLY!!!" he replied.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 12 2019
To the person who stole my weight loss pills........
You'll have nothing to gain.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Aug 29 2018
My father suffers from short term memory loss.
I hope it doesn't run in the family, as my dad has it.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jun 25 2018
After my memory loss, I couldn't remember the other word for 'couch'.
I've been having a hard time recalling it sofa.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 19 2019
Nectarines are peaches without fuzz. Alopecia is hair loss. So...
Are Nectarines Alo-peaches?
π︎ 103
π
︎ Oct 26 2016
Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
π︎ 58
π
︎ Feb 05 2017
Don't even mention the loss of newspaper subscriptions to me
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 25 2018
I hear Tom Brady is very deflated after his loss.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 05 2018
Loss of a loved one
I hope this is the right sub.... I'll never forget the day we lost my grandmother. It was a deeply difficult time. But it turns out she had just slipped between the couch cushions.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 27 2018
Horses donβt really care about hair loss.
Itβs not a mane problem for them.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jun 23 2018
You wanna know what the best thing about short term memory loss is?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 03 2018
I asked my dad are you still mourning the loss of mum.
He replied no, now I'm afternooning her loss.
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jul 24 2017
Hearing loss isn't the end of the world...
but a string of words in sign-language is a deaf sentence.
Edit: please don't thank me, just pay it forward.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Nov 17 2017
Rabbit season must be stressful. I hear it causes hare loss.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 03 2017
What do you call the gradual decline to eventual loss of living tree wives who you marry with the purpose of showing them off ?
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 04 2016
I bought a book about hair loss today because I've been feeling a bit self conscious lately...
...all the pages fell out...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 06 2018
I'm on a weight loss plan where I eat nothing but food coloring.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 06 2015
My weight loss resolution has me really waisting away.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 03 2017
I know a weight loss diet that works with fried confectionary!
All you have to do is eat the doughnut whole
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 25 2016
I was going to make a joke about memory loss.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 24 2018
I was about to make a joke about my short term memory loss
But then I forgot what it was.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 24 2019
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