Have you seen the price of chimneys lately?
Theyβre through the roof!
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 28 2021
Iβve noticed lately that my feet donβt smell very good.
So Iβve started using my nose instead.
π︎ 20
π
︎ May 27 2021
UFO's have been in the news a lot lately but no one seems to care.
Frankly, I think it must be over most people's heads.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 18 2021
Have you taken a bath lately?
Why is there one missing?
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 27 2021
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
π︎ 65
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
My cheese hasnβt been working out lately
Itβs still not shredded
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 18 2021
Have you seen the blind guy on the news lately?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 08 2021
I've been building a lot of LEGO sets with my kids lately.
I'm happy to say I've been having an AFOL time!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
My wife has been cold to me lately, so I figured a hobby might make her more receptive to my advances. I figured why not stamp collecting? Well, I learned an important lesson...
Philately will get you nowhere
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
My colorblind son has been getting into music lately.
He really likes the Greens
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
My mom has really gotten into Konmari lately...
She is throwing out everything that doesn't "spark joy." I haven't seen Dad in a week.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
My dad has been going through a lot of hard ships latelyβ¦
He dismantles them for a living.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
Gravity has had me depressed lately
It really brings a guy down
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
Lately Iβve been storing all my extra change in some bushes outside.
Iβm starting my own hedge fund.
π︎ 77
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
Mr. Cooper has been working so much lately, he's feeling less and less like himself.
What he needs is a night of rest and re-Cooperation.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
Iβve been saying βmuchoβ to my Spanish friend a lot more often lately
π︎ 12k
π
︎ May 26 2020
All this stress lately has me trying new things. For example, I've discovered that brake fluid is actually delicious. I'm up to a case a day, but there's no need to worry about me.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
I'm having frequent pains lately.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
Iβve been going through a lot of shit lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
Iβve noticed I can tell when the ocean is smoking pot lately.
Iβve noticed I can tell when the ocean is smoking pot lately. How can I tell? When I see that the Tide is High.
Donβt know if this counts as a dad joke.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
I've been planning meals in advance a lot lately..
..and it has given me food forethought.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
My wife asked, "What's wrong honey?" I sighed, "Iβm just not having much luck with jobs lately."
"I couldnβt concentrate in the orange juice factory, wasnβt suited to be a tailor, the muffler factory was just exhausting, couldnβt cut it as barber, didnβt have the patience to be a doctor, didnβt fit in the shoe factory, pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldnβt see any future as a historian!"
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
Lately my family have been telling me I need new glasses
But I really don't see the problem
π︎ 23
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
I've been seeing a lot of Stump Grinding signs lately.
I wonder what office they're running for.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
Every time I finish my jog, I like to eat a protein bar. Lately, though, I'm having trouble swallowing it
I hope it doesn't become a running gag
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
My investment in silent actors has really paid off lately.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
I've been dating a ghost lately.
But im never seeing her again. Im done with her sheet. I thought she was gonna scream MY name during sex at least once
But my name is not Boo.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
Iβve had a pretty bad cold lately
People are being even nicer by giving me some space
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
My hot dog sausage has been doing well lately ...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
Lately, Iβve grown increasingly apathetic towards eating vegetables
Some days, I just donβt carrot all
π︎ 23
π
︎ May 24 2020
My Cat has been very poorly lately..
..She's recovering from a massive stroke.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 03 2020
Been noticing weird things with my neighbor lately. No idea why he shovels soil from his side, into mine.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 16 2020
weβve all been watching a lot of viral videos lately
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 07 2020
I've been playing Tetris a lot lately.
It was a bit difficult at first but now everything's falling into place.
π︎ 60
π
︎ Feb 26 2020
I've been so bored lately that I've been sprinkling water on people's lawns in the morning.
It gives me something to dew.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
I've been really getting into a turn based strategy game lately
π︎ 22
π
︎ May 24 2020
Lately Iβve been saying βel mundoβ a lot to my spanish friends.
It means the world to them.
π︎ 200
π
︎ Sep 28 2019
I've been really keen on watching the SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launches lately...
... Guess you could say that I've been watching them like a hawk!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
I've been really struggling lately and nothing seems to be going right so my friend directed me to www.conjunctivitis.com.
It was a site for sore eyes
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
Sharpening the dadjoke knife here lately...
My 4y/o is watching a cartoon whereby there are some asteroids and meteors & says, βOh my goodness gracious! Daddy! A meteor shower!!β
To which I responded, βMeatier than what? Campbellβs Chunky Soup?β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
Iβve been donating a lot of dining room sets to people in need lately.
I guess Iβm just feeling very chairtable.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 17 2020
This sub is disappointing me lately.
I'm going to try the meatball next time.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Jun 19 2016
Iβve been saying βmuchoβ to my Latino friends more lately
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 21 2020
Iβve been saying βmuchoβ to my Spanish friend more often lately...
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 28 2020
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