I can't stop thinking about Bruce willis movies. I guess old habits
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︎ Jan 19 2021
What do you call a priest who dresses in a nun's habit?
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Due to my flatulent habits my daughters have started calling me "Farther"
They didn't like it when I retaliated with...
"Daughturds"
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I was anxiously waiting to hear the result of the Worst Bad Habit Awards
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︎ Dec 13 2020
My dog Minton has a terrible habit of eating shuttlecocks....
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︎ Nov 22 2020
So I picked up a pretty bad smoking habit...
My son hates it... he always likes to tell me βdad! Stop! Smoking causes cancerβ... Iβm always disappointed to inform him, βNo son. Smoking causes ashesβ
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︎ Aug 26 2020
My friend Anne has the habit of hiring & firing people...
I hate to see someone Anne employed.
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︎ Jul 01 2020
My friend has this weird habit where he gnaws at bricks when he visits someoneβs home.
Doctors are calling it Munch housinβ syndrome.
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︎ Jul 06 2020
I have a bad habit of ripping up my artwork if I don't like it.
I probably shouldn't have become a tattoo artist.
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︎ Apr 27 2020
Bought a book about my procrastination habit
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︎ Jan 09 2020
I had a habit of excess masturbation but I'm glad I was able to beat it.
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︎ Jul 12 2019
I have a compulsive habit of obliterating album CD's of classic hard rock bands
You could say I've got an appetite for destruction
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︎ Nov 21 2019
nuns are literally creatures of habit
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︎ Nov 20 2019
I had to give up my habit of eating clocks
It was just too time consuming
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︎ Sep 05 2019
You know what they say about old habits...
you can buy them from a boot sale at a convent.
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︎ Nov 15 2019
Carrots have a hard time getting rid of bad habits.
It's a deeply rooted issue.
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︎ Jan 03 2019
I wonder if nuns ever pick up bad habits
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︎ Mar 21 2019
Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies, because you know what they say about old habits...
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︎ Aug 04 2018
This weekend I will absolutely kick my habit of tapping on dead trees
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︎ Feb 01 2019
I asked my Priest if there were any habits that he couldn't break.
He replied that he prays everyday religiously.
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︎ Apr 09 2019
My grandfather has this weird habit of naming all the fish he catches.
Yesterday he scaled Mount Everest.
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︎ Feb 07 2019
Whenever my friend walks into a room, he has this weird habit of taking the batteries out of all the clocks.
He claims he can stop it at any time.
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︎ Jul 15 2019
Archie Bunker was forced to choose between his wife and his drinking habit.
You canβt have your keg and Edith, too
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︎ Jan 12 2019
I had a nasty habit.
But then I got it dry cleaned.
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︎ Oct 08 2018
My dad told me that back in the day, Jesus had a habit of leaving doors open all the time.
Itβs like he was born in a barn or something.
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︎ Dec 29 2018
I kicked a nasty habit today.
Consequently, the nun wearing it filed assault charges against me.
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︎ Feb 14 2019
Just downloaded a habit tracker
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︎ Feb 21 2019
My friend wants me to end my habit of eating glue.
But Iβm sticking to it.
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︎ Mar 24 2019
My friend has a habit of dropping things.
It's getting out of hand.
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︎ Aug 15 2018
This is becoming a habit.
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︎ May 03 2015
My wife had a bad habit of biting her nails but I cured her.
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︎ Sep 06 2018
I have a bad habit of drinking while reading....
Just the other day, I finished Tequila Mockingbird
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︎ Jun 16 2017
I have a bad habit of crushing things in this machine.
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︎ Oct 05 2016
My wife threatened to leave me over my "filthy and disgusting habits".
I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.
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︎ Dec 17 2017
The local church's Mother Superior has the worst drinking habit I've ever seen,
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︎ Sep 06 2018
I don't have any kids. According to my nephew, this disqualifies me from telling dad jokes. But he's always preaching that my diet is too high in carbohydrates, so my eating habits really irritate him and get under his skin.
I guess this makes me his carbuncle.
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︎ Sep 20 2017
I survey election habits of Democrats. My friend surveys election habits of Republicans.
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︎ Sep 22 2018
My sister has a dangerous shopping habit. She purchased 1000 kitchen utensils just last week.
She's always been one to take unnecessary whisks, though.
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︎ Jul 24 2018
Old habits are like overenthusiastic autoerotic asphyxiation fetishists.
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︎ Nov 24 2018
If your judge at your trial has a habit of rambling on,
Be prepared for a long sentence.
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︎ Jan 10 2018
Did you hear about the guy who had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks?
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︎ Jun 22 2020
I have this bad habit
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︎ Sep 29 2019
I have a bad habit of not finishing things
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︎ Aug 29 2019
I had a habit of excess masturbation but I'm glad I was able to beat it.
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︎ Jul 12 2019
Nuns are creatures of habit.
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︎ Apr 24 2019
Carrots have a hard time getting rid of bad habits.
It's a deeply rooted issue.
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︎ Jan 03 2019
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