I can't stop thinking about Bruce willis movies. I guess old habits

Pulp fiction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daymanahaha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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What do you call a priest who dresses in a nun's habit?

A Transistor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmperorOfFabulous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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Due to my flatulent habits my daughters have started calling me "Farther"

They didn't like it when I retaliated with...

"Daughturds"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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I was anxiously waiting to hear the result of the Worst Bad Habit Awards

It was nail-biting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alwaysthecold
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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My dog Minton has a terrible habit of eating shuttlecocks....

Bad Minton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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So I picked up a pretty bad smoking habit...

My son hates it... he always likes to tell me β€œdad! Stop! Smoking causes cancer”... I’m always disappointed to inform him, β€œNo son. Smoking causes ashes”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaSuperior
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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My friend Anne has the habit of hiring & firing people...

I hate to see someone Anne employed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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My friend has this weird habit where he gnaws at bricks when he visits someone’s home.

Doctors are calling it Munch housin’ syndrome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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I have a bad habit of ripping up my artwork if I don't like it.

I probably shouldn't have become a tattoo artist.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Bought a book about my procrastination habit

I'll read it tomorrow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlieb2007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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I had a habit of excess masturbation but I'm glad I was able to beat it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devmittal_civ16
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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I have a compulsive habit of obliterating album CD's of classic hard rock bands

You could say I've got an appetite for destruction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinoxal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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nuns are literally creatures of habit
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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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I had to give up my habit of eating clocks

It was just too time consuming

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LevelVS
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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You know what they say about old habits...

you can buy them from a boot sale at a convent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Carrots have a hard time getting rid of bad habits.

It's a deeply rooted issue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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I wonder if nuns ever pick up bad habits
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stupidlyugly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies, because you know what they say about old habits...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
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This weekend I will absolutely kick my habit of tapping on dead trees

Knock on wood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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I asked my Priest if there were any habits that he couldn't break.

He replied that he prays everyday religiously.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GummyMcFatstacks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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My grandfather has this weird habit of naming all the fish he catches.

Yesterday he scaled Mount Everest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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Whenever my friend walks into a room, he has this weird habit of taking the batteries out of all the clocks.

He claims he can stop it at any time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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Archie Bunker was forced to choose between his wife and his drinking habit.

You can’t have your keg and Edith, too

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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I had a nasty habit.

But then I got it dry cleaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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My dad told me that back in the day, Jesus had a habit of leaving doors open all the time.

It’s like he was born in a barn or something.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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I kicked a nasty habit today.

Consequently, the nun wearing it filed assault charges against me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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Just downloaded a habit tracker

Where my nuns at ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shagraxshagrax
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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My friend wants me to end my habit of eating glue.

But I’m sticking to it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crossover131
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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My friend has a habit of dropping things.

It's getting out of hand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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This is becoming a habit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2015
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My wife had a bad habit of biting her nails but I cured her.

I hid her teeth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JK-BB
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
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I have a bad habit of drinking while reading....

Just the other day, I finished Tequila Mockingbird

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarlot_the_Great
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
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I have a bad habit of crushing things in this machine.

It's my vice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditurded
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
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My wife threatened to leave me over my "filthy and disgusting habits".

I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2017
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The local church's Mother Superior has the worst drinking habit I've ever seen,

bar nun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phiv555
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
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I don't have any kids. According to my nephew, this disqualifies me from telling dad jokes. But he's always preaching that my diet is too high in carbohydrates, so my eating habits really irritate him and get under his skin.

I guess this makes me his carbuncle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HAL9000000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
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I survey election habits of Democrats. My friend surveys election habits of Republicans.

We're poller opposites.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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My sister has a dangerous shopping habit. She purchased 1000 kitchen utensils just last week.

She's always been one to take unnecessary whisks, though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Die4Cy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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Old habits are like overenthusiastic autoerotic asphyxiation fetishists.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drislands
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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If your judge at your trial has a habit of rambling on,

Be prepared for a long sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks?

Bad minton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/milchhmann
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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I have this bad habit

Of not finishing the

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sowyy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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I have a bad habit of not finishing things
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PdawgUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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I had a habit of excess masturbation but I'm glad I was able to beat it.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devmittal_civ16
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Nuns are creatures of habit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghostwriter623
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Carrots have a hard time getting rid of bad habits.

It's a deeply rooted issue.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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