nuns are literally creatures of habit
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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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I wonder if nuns ever pick up bad habits
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stupidlyugly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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My habits are nun of your business!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gayburn_Wright
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2014
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What do sisters do for fun in the convent?

Nun of our business really, but I suspect it's habit-forming.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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The non nun

How do you know if a nun is a cross dresser ? She has weird habits....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ransuru
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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I met a nun that wiped her nose on her clothes

She had a nasty habit

πŸ‘︎ 263
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeerAndJameson
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2018
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A Catholic High School had a legendary American football program

Every year, the team was in the state championship game, and usually won it handily. Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.

Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program.

One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor.

As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0.

The next day, the headline on the local sports section read:

No Offense, Nun Taken

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaintMeerkat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Why did the nun bite her fingernails?

It was a habit

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d4hm3r
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
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I'm a street performer at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I tell punny jokes there, thought you'd enjoy them.

The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.

I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.

I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.

Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.

Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.

Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.

I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.

The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.

The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.

The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.

The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.

The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.

The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.

Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.

The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.

Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbdekker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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Village Idiot Puns

Way back when I was a kid, for my school's Renaissance Faire-esque fundraiser, I went around wearing a sign that read "Vilage Idiot". When guests asked why, I'd reply, "I wasn't always the village idiot...

  • β€œI used to be a tailor... but it didn't quite suit me... It was only a so-so job.”
  • β€œI once was a lumberjack... but I couldn't hack it... so they gave me the axe.”
  • β€œI was a fisherman too... I just couldn't live off my net income.”
  • β€œI thought about being a witch for a spell.”
  • β€œI tried being a chef... but I just didn't have enough thyme for it.”
  • β€œI was a musician once... but I didn't accomplish anything noteworthy.”
  • β€œFor awhile I was a doctor... but I didn't have the patience to keep it up.”
  • β€œI once was a accountant... but I lost interest. The job was too taxing.”
  • β€œI tried moonlighting as a nun... but I confess, they didn't like my altar ego... or my bad habits.”
  • β€œMore recently, I was a baker... but I couldn't make enough dough at it... Guess I wasn't bred for the job.”
  • β€œHeck, I was even king for a day... but I didn't have any crowning achievements.”

...And so now, here I am: village idiot, just like my father was. Ah... my father, he was the best village idiot we ever had. It's hard living in his shadow sometimes. You see, my father was a complete idiot! ...I'm just a half-wit.”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ason42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
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My housemate will go far

We were watching a film in which nuns wore that full on nun outfit, I argued that almost no nuns wear all of that and is over represented in the movies.

He said to me "I think they probably still wear it all, it's hard to give up an old habit".

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMini
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
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Not actually a dad...

But I think I've got potential. I'm a waiter. It was raining when I left for work earlier, so I put my apron on my head to shield myself. I thought of what I might say if anyone questioned me about it.

"I sometimes like to wear improvised nun hoods. It's not a very good habit."

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scipio33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2014
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My Godfather doesn't always tell jokes, but when he does...

At the end of the evening, after dinner with my parents and godparents. My Godfather gets up to leave, puts on his jacket and turns to us. Out of the blue he comes out with:

>I'll leave you with this: You can kiss a nun once. You can kiss a nun twice. But you must never get into the Habit.

We laugh, groan, laugh some more. He leaves.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daregveda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2014
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Nuns are creatures of habit.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghostwriter623
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A Catholic High School had a legendary American football team. Every year, the team was in the state championship game, and usually won it handily…

Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.

Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program.

One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor.

As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0.

The next day, the headline on the local sports section read:

No Offense, Nun Taken

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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