I visited a monastery the other day and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar?"

He replied "No, I'm the chip monk..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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I replaced all of the incense in the Friar's room with Marijuana.

He's a High Priest now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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How do you turn a friar into a high priest?

You give him a blunt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Around the turn of 1900, two Friars move to London to start up a florist shop. Well this didn't sit well with the established florist shop down on the corner.

The other shop owner called his buddy to have someone trash their store. They sent Hugh, big guy like 6'3'' 300pounds. Hugh goes in and busts the store up and scares the Friars off, sending them back to the monastery.

The moral of the story is, Hugh and only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/facts_my_guyy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Did you hear about the Franciscan Friar who inherited 30 million dollars?

He was an heir friar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/archangel09
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Florist friars
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcgu3
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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I stopped by a monastery while I was out in Wales for vacation and saw a monk selling chips out front. So I asked him "are you the Friar?"

He slowly looked up at me, smiled warmly and responded "No sir, I am the chip monk."

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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Fight Friar with Friar
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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A wolf who is a monk is a friar wolf imgur.com/gallery/t7VsXlQ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pgtgrly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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Only you can prevent Florist Friars.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxGuy5
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
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These friars were behind on their belfry payments...

...so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JButler22093
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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Some friars set up a flower shop

A pair of friars came up with the great idea to use the extra flowers scattered around the monastery to start a flower shop. After the first week, the new flower shop is bustling and quickly becomes the most popular flower shop in town. This upsets a fellow florist, John, because he is losing his business. John decides to go down to the docks and find someone to destroy the competition's flower shop. John ends up finding a large sailor by the name of Hugh. Hugh promptly goes and completely destroys the friars' flower shop, effectively putting the friars out of business. Once again proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Debt-Profit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2015
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The first french fry wasn’t cooked in France...

It was cooked in grease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RocksOnReddit924
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's?

A Friar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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The Franciscan priest left the monastery to start a flower shop, but before he could open, a flock of sheep in the village got loose and trampled him to death.

Only ewes can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silverjaydog
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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What do you call a monk with a pilot license?

An Air Friar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meatfish
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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Did you hear about the men at the monastery who make fried potato crisps?

They’re the chip monks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abombregardless
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Today, I was accosted by an angry Monk brandishing a bouquet.

Remember, only YOU can prevent Florist Friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainNuge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips...

'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.

'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.

Edit : Holy crap ! More than 1K updoots for a silly joke ? Thanks guys ! I am not sure whether to be proud or ashamed of myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aabesh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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How do you make an altar boy crispy?

Throw him into a deep friar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronicJeremyIrons
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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Hmm, interesting
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they are.

It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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Two British monks set up a small snack stand at the parish fair.

They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was

the chip monk!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/franksymptoms
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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What do you call a pious fowl?

A Turkey Friar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/orange_cookie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Dad was too cheap to buy weed killer, so he made us kids jump on weeds to control them. He always told me:

Only you can stamp out domestic violets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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3 Cannibals were arguing over how to eat a missionary they captured.

Cannibal 1: We should boil him!

Cannibal 2: We should roast him on a spit!

Cannibal 3: No! Can’t you see he’s a Friar?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKoke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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A drunk man eating chips wanders into a monastery

While wandering around he bumps into a old man in robes cooking.

With a grin the drunk man asks β€œAre you the fish friar?”

β€œNo brother” he replied β€œI’m the chip monk”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exhious
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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Reverse dad joke. Actual exchange I heard between my brother and his daughter.

"Dad, can I go swimming?"

"Not right now. Wait five or ten minutes."

"Ok, I choose five."

"... Fair enough."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moak0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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What do they call a philosophical monk that works at McDonald's?

A deep friar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/waldo06
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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What do you call a monk who steals a grilled cheese sandwich right off the griddle?

Out of the frying pan and into the friar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allymeow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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Priests that molest kids should be burned at the stake.

A bon-friar, if you will

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kindofaniceguy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?

The deep friar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theblumkin
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Hugh Hefner kicked some monks off his property today

The monks were selling flowers in front of the playboy mention when they were kicked out. When asked about it, the monk replied β€œif it was anybody else we would have gotten away with it, but only Hugh can prevent florist friars”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BirdOfPrey37
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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Long joke ahead, but well worth it.

A while ago, there were some friars who needed to raise money, so they opened up a flower shop. Across the street, there was another flower shop that had already been open for a few years. Afraid of competition, the owner politely asked the friars to sell something else in heir shop. They refused. People liked the new flower shop better, so the first shop’s profits started dropping. Concerned that he might go out of business, the owner of the first shop asked the friars to close their shop. They refused. Some time passed, and the first shop was on the verge of bankruptcy. Desperate, the owner begged the friars to close their shop. They refused again. Then, the owner of the first shop used the last of his money to hire a hit man named Hugh Williams to beat up the friars and trash their shop. He did, and when he was done, he told the friars he’d be back if they didn’t close down. Scared for their lives, the friars agreed, proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent Florist Friars.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Two cannibals are chatting

and the first cannibal says "I killed and ate a missionary yesterday, but I think he gave me an upset stomach." The second cannibal says "That's too bad. How'd you cook him?" The first cannibal says "Oh, I threw him in the giant pot of boiling water like always." The second cannibal says "Makes sense. And what did he look like?" The first cannibal says "The usual. Brown robe, rope belt, sandals." And the second cannibal says "Well there's your problem. You boiled him, and he was a friar."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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What do you call an overweight monk reading psychology?

A deep fat friar

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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What do you call a levitating monk?

An air friar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hungytoaster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where there was a brother frying chips.

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied, "No, I'm the chip monk".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Never buy flowers from a monk...

Only you can prevent florist friars

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shroomtree
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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I visited a monastery

and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar'?" He replied "No, I'm the chip monk"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/createsean
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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"Never buy flowers from a monk", Smokey the Bear said.

Only you can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Forrest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchens where a brother is frying chips…

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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Never buy flowers from a monk

Only you can prevent florist friars

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toolaroola12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips...

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2017
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I visited a monastery

As I walked past the kitchen, I saw a man frying chips. I asked him if he was the friar. He replied "No, I'm the chip monk."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qaddosh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Crispy Business

I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips.

I asked him "Are you the friar?"

He replied "No, i'm the chip monk."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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Never buy flowers from a monk

Only YOU can prevent Florist Friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMattRHorn
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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Why was the philosophical, overweight monk always greasy?

Because he was a deep fat friar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stokokopops
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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A Visit to the Monastery

I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen, I saw a man frying chips.

I asked him "Are you the friar"?

He replied "No, I'm the chip monk."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldrolex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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