What do sisters do for fun in the convent?
Nun of our business really, but I suspect it's habit-forming.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
Why don't convents have trouble retaining seamstresses?
Because that work is habit forming.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
A prisoner joined a convent and wanted to be a part of their marching band. What instrument did she decide to play?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
Official song of nun's formally leaving a convent:
Linkin Park's "Breaking the Habit."
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
Why are all convents non-profit organizations?
Because nun of them are in it for the money.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
Somebody kidnapped a Sister from our local convent because there was no security.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 08 2019
How many people live in the average convent?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 24 2019
Who do you call if something breaks down at a convent?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 26 2019
Did you hear about the nun who got into trouble for drinking communion wine from her convent's medieval goblet?
No, but it serves her rite.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 27 2018
When you join a convent, do you have to sign a Nun disclosure agreement?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 18 2016
This year's Fibonacci Convention was a great success.
It was as big as the last two combined!
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments.
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
Did you hear about the diarrhoea outbreak at the journalist convention?
Itβs all over the news!
π︎ 26
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
I went to a comedy and phylosophy convention
Laughed more than I thought
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
Did you hear about the locksmith convention coming to town?
I hear they've got the keynote speaker locked up.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
I cheated on my wife at the magma convention...
I got caught up in the thrill of a lava fair.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
I just flew in from a Transformers convention.
And boy my arms are tires.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
I went to a Star Trek convention dressed as a tree...
..... I was the captain's log
π︎ 29
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
What do you call a butcher convention?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
I didn't expect to see that convention of skilled printers in Madridβ¦
It was a Spanish ink-wiz-isition.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
I went to the dynamite convention yesterday
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
A man brought his trike to a 4 Wheeler convention but was refused at the door for not following the dress code.
They told him that he was missing attire
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
They only had size of shirt available at the psychic convention.
Turns out they're mediums.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor.
The security guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Jun 29 2020
I went to a furry convention and they were doing a Shakespearean play
I think it was "Much UwU About Nothing"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 20 2020
The psychic convention is cancelled
Due to unforeseen circumstances
π︎ 50
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
Went to a German dentist convention where they wanted donations of metals.
I told them βNein, out of tin.β Dentists agreed.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention.
They call it the Enter prize
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 19 2020
Where do mathematicians hold their annual convention?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Dec 31 2019
Thereβs a new company that goes in conventions and claim they can track you by your smell
But they canβt do it without your con scent
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 09 2020
What do you call an E-girl convention?
A SIMPosium!
(Not here to hate on simps just a pun i thought of)
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 20 2020
Why did the German sales team get kicked out of the sausage convention?
They were the wurst people.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 26 2020
Why do nuns go to confession?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
Don't order the carat cake at a jewlers' convention
The quality is excellent, but the serving size is only 0.2 grams
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 24 2020
Native American naming conventions (contains a swear word)
My dad used to tell me this one growing up:
>Native American child is with his father. He looks up at him and says "Dad, how did you figure out what to name us when we were born?"
>
>The dad responds "Son, it's easy: I just looked around nature and what I saw is what I named you. Your sister, Flying-Eagle, for instance, was born while an eagle flew overhead. Your brother was named Roaming-Buffalo for a similar reason. Why do you ask, Two-Dogs-Fucking?"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
A friend of mine just named their child Geneva.
Itβs rather too conventional for me...
π︎ 34
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Did you hear about the guy at the locksmith convention who got onstage and talked about music?
He was the Key Note speaker!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 04 2020
A famous horror novelist was at a convention when a man asked, βWhy are all your books so dark? Iβve tried, but I just canβt manage to read any of them.β The novelist responded,
βSo you havenβt tried turning on a light then?β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 05 2020
TIL: A recent study found that the newest strain of head lice is resistant to conventional treatment.
That left scientists scratching their heads.
π︎ 267
π
︎ Mar 14 2019
Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware convention?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 05 2019
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments
That has left scientists scratching their heads
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
A new strain of lice is going around that is resistant to conventional treatments.
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Oct 19 2019
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments
It has left scientists scratching their heads.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
I just flew in from a Transformers convention
And boy are my arms tires
π︎ 105
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
A new strain of head lice is going around that is resistant to conventional treatments.
This has left scientists scratching their heads.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 03 2020
Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon twigged I wasn't the real McCoy
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 04 2019
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