should’ve gone to specsavers
πŸ‘οΈŽ 249
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pizzaro2134
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My mam used to say you don't appreciate something enough till it's gone

[removed]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 183
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheAwesomeGoalkeeper
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Finally my winter fat has gone...

Now, I have spring rolls.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm worried that the supreme court will lack empathy now that Ginsburg is gone.

Without her they're ruthless.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dudefaceguy_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Sad news fellas, I broke up with my girlfriend Lorraine. She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee. Good news though, I can see Claire Lee now, Lorraine is gone.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Motor-Significance-1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My diarrhea is gone

I guess you could say it’s gonorrhea

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dickiedaydream
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
property owners gone festive!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 610
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotdamnitsolivia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't find my 'Gone In 60 seconds' DVD.

It was here a minute ago.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 465
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The price of hot air balloons has really gone up over the past twenty years.

It's the inflation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dokutabiru
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Patient: doctor, I've gone blind

Doctor: I see

Patient: I don't

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Uranium_235_Neutron
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
To the people who haven’t gone to the toilet in 2021

Why are you still holding onto last year’s shit?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jtrad_24
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My addiction to refrigerated poultry has gone too far

I'm quitting cold turkey

πŸ‘οΈŽ 604
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hugh_McMan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm so angry that I've gone colourblind.....

I'm seeing red.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/radiofirey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call tapioca that's gone bad?

Off putting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bambi53
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Twitter has gone too far! Now they're banning Mario for threatening the President.

Evidently he found out that Trump was in Peach twice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jodyleblanc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
There was once a old grape farmer, who had gone through many droughts. When his grapes had fallen and dried out, all he could say was....

Everything happens for a raisin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
If Abraham Lincoln had gone on a hunger strike there would have been an Emaciation Proclamation.

Emaciation/Emancipation

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother who works in a tannery has gone missing. We haven't seen hair nor hide of him.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Outrageous_Desk_2187
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Essentially, anytime a new toilet is christened you are "Going where no man has gone before."
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DinglebarryHandpump
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I should've gone to bed at least 30 minutes ago...

But I suppose everybody's hindsight is 2020.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FieryFruitcake
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Most Americans are looking forward to December 2020 because Trump should be gone Biden.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/golubeerji
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My German cake has gone missing

It was Stollen!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TwoPointsOfInterest
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Just came home to find all my doors and windows open, everything's gone!

Who would do that to another person's Advent Calendar?!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Flabbergash
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Back, back, back... Gone!

When you are afflicted by Heaven with pain down your back, buttock, and hamstring: SCIATICA D'SHMAYA.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/psetnik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The soup's gone bad.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mee-thee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
With Trump gone from the presidency

hindsight really will be 2020.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I think the front of my foot has gone dead-asleep.

Now they are a bunch of coma-toes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
He'll be gone in a day or two.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Herminio_Meza
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A magician stood in front of a crowd and claimed that he could disappear. He counted, β€œUno..dos..” and was suddenly gone.

He disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 303
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LeopardusMaximus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Hair today, gone tomorrow. (Stolen from r/tumblr)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Domolord156
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Has science gone too far?

Maybe, I can barely see it from here.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheAmazingSoSo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I've gone and confused the words 'Yakuza' with 'Jacuzzi'

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 62
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Man gone with a mango
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Is_This_L055
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
If anyone has any advice for cosmetic surgery that’s gone terribly wrong...

My wife is all ears

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Durty_Rick_Sanchez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a death sentence gone wrong?

Good concept, bad execution.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ElephantsAreHuge
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother has gone into business fixing car ignitions.

It's a start up.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Two friends are having a conversation. "My wife has just gone on vacation in the Carribbean" say's one. "Jamaica?" replies the other.

No, she wanted to go.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EastlyGod1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister says she’s gone vegan but I don’t believe her.

I’ve always thought she’s full of balogna.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/a-real-jerk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Chris has gone at it over a year now..
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Athena123YT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Half our class is gone so it’s a free period
πŸ‘οΈŽ 225
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Stoppablefish8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Row and gone
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joker-here
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Be gone
πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Swimmer_69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone.

And then it dawned on me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 130
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shieldvortex17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My winter fat is all gone...

Now I have spring rolls

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pathrado
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My winter fat is gone!

Now I have spring rolls!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/superpie5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't find my 'Gone in 60 Seconds' DVD.

It was here a minute ago.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't find my gone in 60 seconds dvd.

It was here a minute ago

πŸ‘οΈŽ 52
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/74CK
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't find my 'Gone in 60 seconds' DVD

It was here a minute ago

Edit : fixed the spelling

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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